You've heard of the girls
who hide secret pregnancy
under large sweatshirts
and sweatpants and anything
that could hide the destruction
that it could cause if revealed.
But I doubt your ears
have heard the new age
embarrassment
of bony thinness.
Under plus sized clothing
unseen is the ribs and hips
in the hallowed out stomachs
being described as a cavern
a black hole
Nothingness does not ache
for hunger, but it aches
depths of depression
The ones she needs have
left her.
There alone yearning only
for someone somewhere
to help her. Compliment
her. Touch her.
Care enough to help her.
As she retreats into her
own mind.
Dipping into the deepest
of depression. Insanity.
Deep sleep, or so it seems,
engulfs her. And she dreams.
So realistic a dream
she believes it.
She is sitting on a paper chair.
She is light enough so that it holds.
But yet she still feels fat.
She watches a feast.
Gluttonous people she thinks.
Eating much too much.
She sees and smells her favorite foods.
The delicacies once brought her into
spasms of hunger
now gives her stomach a
slight twinge.
She scolds herself for her imaginings.
I am fat. I am much too fat.
A hand on her shoulder,
feeling through her sweatshirt
bone. And nothing else.
But the hand does not wrench away
but stays. Rolls down her arm.
a whisper in her ear
caressing voice
speaking only of the food
only of the eating.
She is being touched.
A hand curls around from behind her.
An apple. Red and perfect sitting before her.
She reaches. Grabs. Holds the fruit in her hands.
Runs her thumb over the skin.
Holds it to her lips. The bitter redness
against her tongue until pierced by teeth
the juice explodes in her mouth
and the whiteness on her teeth, jaws
working slowly, cautiously,
remembering the memory of chewing.
Of swallowing.
The first bite is in her stomach before
she has taken 5 more.
She wakes. Or so it seems.
She doesn't recognize the room
around her. The lady above her.
Blonde hair. White dress, striped with red.
"Would you like some pudding?"
She is being spoken to.
She opens her mouth and her voice comes out
a scratchy growl.
A glass of water appears in her hand.
She sips. Feels the liquid roll over a dry tongue.
"Apple." she chokes out.
The lady smiles.
"I should have guessed."
She hands a partially eaten apple to her.
She counts the bites. Six.
"It is yours, you can eat it."
She takes a bite. Just as good
as the fruit in her dream.
A swallow.
But is it too late? Is she too late to be saved?
And she passes out.
Unknown if she will wake again.