You know how sometimes one is always envious of girls who has like fifty million guys after her? Well, I can't say I'm not one of them, until now. Just last year, I was still one of those who had to force a best friend to buy me a rose on Valentine's Day so I don't look so loserly. In fact, every V-Day's been the same, I'm my own Valentine. Sucked to be me. Well you see this year's Valentine's, I'm suddenly Miss Popularity, and probably for "good" reason too… Everyone in school knows the secret, which is not so secret any more I guess, which is the Applecott family are now millionaires. Yes, regular old me, Lica Applecott is a millionaire.
Which makes me wonder how much longer I'll be able to attend Affen High. (Because you know, someone might want to kidnap me, hold a ransom, yaddy ya) I just finished freshman year and now half into sophomore year, it's not ironic for me not to want to leave, even though I do detest a few of the ahem "teachers", save for Mr. Kenny because he is just too cute to hate. I don't really just go for cute looks but then again, who doesn't? Mr. Kenny is like the love of every hormone-infested teen in class. Female teen, except for Rex because he's well, you know, he swings that way. I love Rex, though he's not my best friend because a girl with a gay best friend is too been there done that, even though that would be cool. My best friend is Lunatic, my calico cat. Lunatic hates fish and loves the smell of my socks—she's kinda like a dog but not really because dogs can be so stupid. Lunatic, albeit a bit wacky, is smarter than all my teachers (Save for Mr. Kenny again, must I remind y'all?).
Anyway, what happened is my dad's a lottery-holic—he can't go a day without spending a dollar or two on lottery. Some say one can play a lifetime and never win. Others, like the commercials say, hey you'll never know. Well that's true. We couldn't believe it. Dad came home with this creepy look on his face, the kind that can drain the blood from your cheeks because he looked just like a zombie. He started to laugh hysterically and literally ROFL'ed. I'll admit, we were freaked out when he started dancing around the house singing "If I were a rich man, which I am! I am!" He waved the ticket in our faces, Mom gasped and fainted and I just stood there wondering if I could just grow a male part over night because if we could win the lottery, I might just suddenly become a man. A hot man like Mr. Kenny.
I checked and I'm definitely not XY, purely XX, 100 percent female, 100 percent boy crazy, and 200 percent crazy like Lunatic. Now that that's told, let's go back to my V-Day dilemma.
I got a total of let's see, fourteen single-stemmed roses, five teddy bears, sixteen chocolate boxes, and one fugly diamond ring, which of course is not diamond. Not that I care. With our money, I could afford diamond rings for all my fingers and toes, if my parents would spoil me like that. Sadly I'm not an only child. I have a stupid brother, a twin brother, named Stupid Steven and a young bratty demon spitfire crazy moronic lunatic (sorry Lunatic, it's an insult for you to describe Miri with your name)baby sister. Who of course steals all my stuff and likes to see me turn bald. Back then when she was a baby, she'd rip out my hair. Now she makes me rip out my own hair. Whatever.
The chocolate's sitting in the kitchen, the roses are dying, and the teddy bears stare at me as if staring could make me spontaneously explode. They don't like me, I don't like them. Never really liked them 'cause they make me allergic, which is funny because I have a cat that doesn't make me sneeze. Figure that out. The diamond ring, I gave it to Miri, she loves it. She loves all things sparkly, that's her Achille's heel, if you know what I mean. Enough of these details for now, on to my main point and finally. I tend to digress mainly because I like the word digress and I guess digressing goes hand in hand with procrastinating, another thing I'm an expert in. Yea that's my two superpowers.
The problem with these presents is all of them are from guys I don't know and didn't know they knew me. Except for one teddy bear, one rose, and one box of chocolate—these three are from secret admirers. I can guess from this I have at least one true secret admirer. I mean I'm no Jessica Alba though I do think I'm good looking enough to not scare away the boys. My hair's the color of sunshine—well okay not—I'm a brunette. My eyes are light brown and I have as my friends say, an exotic look because well Mom's Chinese and Dad's Irish slash Polish slash American. Very cool, I'm a mix of everything! I am though a bit on the chubby side, nothing too drastic. I just have to do a billion sit-ups and well too lazy. The only exercise I do is finger exercise, the type one does when playing video games. No one, I repeat, no one can beat me in fighting games. As for real life fights, that's another story. One time I was punched in the face—another story! Okay!
So this means I have many problems (yes I know, some mental). I don't want to leave Affen High. I don't want to be kidnapped. I don't want people to hate me because now I'm suddenly wealthy. And I don't want people to like me because I'm suddenly wealthy. Or use me. I can be gullible. Reading people's not my forte.
I grab the teddy bears and make them make out with each other. Bored, so bored. At the moment, we're still living in the same house we've lived in since Stupid Steven and I were born. I like it, it's cozy and it's… home.
"Hello…" Janey's calling. Janey's one of my best friends.
"What's opposite of down?"
"That's stupid Janey."
"No that's not stupid. Steven's stupid. So."
"Yea."
"So have you any guesses. Who do you think they are?"
She's definitely referring to my three secret admirers. "I know it's not Mr. Kenny."
Janey sighs. "That's too bad."
"I know right. I know it's not Rex."
"We all know it's not Rex. What if it's one of the freshies?"
"I don't mind younger guys." I scratch my head. When I was eleven, I had a crush on this cute nine-year old kid. I'm bad, I know.
"Come on. They're not going to buy Affen High. We don't even have our hands on the money yet, well at least not all of it." All 188 million… holy tomatoes. I still pinch myself to see if it's all just a cruel dream.
"That's too bad. They'll probably want you to go to a private school and stuff."
"Yea it's kinda obvious no? I don't know what to do anymore."
"Don't do anything. Just solve the mystery. Guess who really loves Lica!"
"Janey… I can't say for other people but I know you won't treat me any differently, right?"
"Well if you know, you wouldn't have to had said the right. But you are right. Though there is this new laptop I have my eye on… and well I'm just kidding."
"Sure you are." I roll my eyes. "So why'd you call me?" I arch a brow. Janey's eyes are probably shifting from left to right.
"Oh nothing. So what's Steven and Miri up to?"
Aha! There she goes again, mentioning Stupid Steven-- who I should call SS from now on because I'm lazy. "They're downstairs watching Spongebob," I reply.
"Cute. I mean for Miri to do so. Well I guess that's it."
"You're strange. That's why I love you!"
"No it's because I'm as strange as you, that's why you love me."
"You always have to have the last word."
"Yes. Bye!"
With that, Janey hangs up and I'm left speechless. Well, I better prepare for school tomorrow, possibly wear a full suit of armor. People who once treated me as if I were invisible are now my best friends. Hugs hugs kiss kiss. The affection's flattering for the first ten minutes. Now it's just okay I get the point. You know I'm rich. It's sad.
"Do you think he's one of them?"
"I doubt it."
Janey thinks one of my SAs is Gary Jung, high school junior and pop star. Well not but he can sing and he has a dozen of fan girls in Affen High. Even after my secret was leaked out, Gary hasn't acknowledged my existence. He always has this spacey look about him and one can only imagine what's playing in his beautiful mind. I wonder if I just drooled.
"How about Larry?"
"I hope not."
See Larry hates me. It's a hate-hate relationship that will never spawn into love-hate. Making Lica Applecott's life a living heckhole is the reason Larry wakes up every morning. I bet if he's constipated, he blames it on me. Why? Well it's all because of the Great Gumball Incident… yes Gumball. Janey gave me a gumball, I popped it into my mouth, almost choked, shot it right out like a gun and it landed between Larry's eyes… With issues on his own, Larry's now gumball-phobic and he can't kiss girls because he thinks gumballs will come shooting out of their mouths, or so he says. I don't hate him, I mean he's sorta cute, in a non-milk curdling way.
"How about the new boy?"
Sam.
"No, Sam's just well… I don't know."
What can I say about Sam? Long bangs of black cover his eyes, he has a lip ring, and he's well, silent, scary, creepy and strangely sexy. Sexy coming out of my mouth just seems so sinful. I shudder. There you have it, three boys different as night and day, different as chocolate and vanilla, or Thai-food and fake-Chinese food. Or real Chinese food and fake-Chinese "food." One's artistic, seemingly romantic, sweet, and even shy. One's intense, scary and yet oddly appealing. And one's well, one is always on my mind because he hates me so darn much!
Sam, Larry, and Gary, all good guesses. I wonder if it's because Janey has a thing on them. I really wouldn't mind. Having SAs is cool. Well as long as one of them isn't, I hope to holy cheese, is not John Finkle.
John Finkle loves his thick glasses, his forward-head posture, and his pants high up past his belly button. I don't dislike nerds though John's just creepy. I do have this inkling he does have a sorta crush on me because well, he's always staring at me as if I'm a light saber or a dragon. When I look back at him, he becomes sweaty and red in the face and oh cherub, he's doing it again. And walking over to me.
"Um hi Lica."
"Hi."
"What do you want?" Janey's always this polite.
John stuffs his hands into his pockets and removes two boxes.
"I know Valentine's past but I couldn't summon the courage to do it… Here…" He hands me a box of chocolates, a very small box, and a jewelry box. Then he just runs away. Stumbles a bit, then disappears as if he's some wizard.
"So we know one thing's for sure. John Finkle's an admirer, just not one of the three secret ones…"
"I don't know if I should be grateful or just plain disturbed…" I sigh and stuff the two boxes into Janey's overall pockets. "You like chocolate. You like jewelry."
"But I don't like John."
"Who does?" I know I'm mean… I can't help it.
As we walk to class, I catch Larry's hateful glares. He's planning something. I wrinkle my nose at him. He widens his eyes and then something strange happens. He smiles. What's he up to?
Now out of the hundreds of boys in Affen High, taking John and Larry out of the equation, who are my three secret admirers?
I'm back to square one… Save me!
A/N: Who do you like? Your pick changes the story!