I shot drugs for the very first time today…

I'm on the couch tour from hell and I

Know you're proud-got the money by

Robbing the local convenience store.

(No I didn't.) Actually,

I stole it off your dresser-thanks mum.

(No I didn't.) Actually,

You lent it to me cos I told you

It was for something else.

Something clean-thanks mum.

Yes, I am Satan.

Send more money cos I'm running out and

Give my love to the seven-eleven;

Tell them I'm sorry for

Smashing that display case.

A/N: reworked from my poem 'Dear Dad,' after realizing I hated both my parents the same. LOL.