Some sad thing I wrote for my friend as a mini-Christmas gift. Sorry I posted it so late. I only dug it up now.

It's a one-shot. It's sad. You don't like that, sorry. :)

Review. PLEASE. -B1

Sometimes you don't know what it is you really want most.

Sometimes you only find out when it's too late.

This is what a certain boy was thinking as he trudged up the street toward the brightly lit house, fists shoved into his pockets, head kept down, collar turned up against the light night breezes.

This is what he stamped into his head as he stopped on the grass in front of that house, tilting his eyes upward to the windows of that living room. Inside, people danced and laughed to cheerful Christmas music, exchanging stories, greetings, hugs and kisses.

He had no doubt she was in there too. And maybe she was with that other guy this December 24th.

Maybe they were even under a tacky branch of mistletoe someone stupid had brought along just for laughs, and maybe they were… doing what?

Would she really forget him all that easily? It hurt to consider that possibility, but this certain boy had decided he had to face the truth some time. Even if the truth took away his Christmas cheer for this year.

If he was that other guy, he wouldn't let one moment pass without letting her know how much he needed her.

Of course, that other guy might not be as smart. Among other things.

This certain boy rang the doorbell.

He waited a few moments outside in the cold, not once taking his eyes away from the spot where she might come out to meet him. He wanted to see how her face looked before she saw him, and how it would change once she realized who he was.

He hoped she would look happy.

But he knew it wasn't very likely.

He heard the front door open, and a blast of warmth and voices and music came out into the cold. They were cut off as quickly as they'd wafted out, and then he heard a voice laughing to herself as footsteps pattered down the pavement toward him. He felt himself tense.

The gate rattled and then it swung open.

"Hey, come on in—" Bright eyes, flushed cheeks, a welcoming smile put on for the friend she was expecting—


Something flashed shock in her face as he spoke, and then she turned away from him, looking reflexively back to the front windows.

He realized bitterly that it was to make sure no one had seen him there.

"...You? What are you doing here?"

He fished around in his pocket and then brought out a wooden box. It had a purple ribbon tied around it. He pushed it forward to her.

"I came to give you your Christmas gift."

She looked at him like, Sure you did. "Didn't you already send brownies?"

"Those were for your family."

Was that a blush, or just shadows in the night light? "B-but… then, why give me…?

That certain boy said it simply. "Because I love you." His hand was getting a bit tired of holding the box up at arm's length. "Could you take your gift now?"

She stared at him, but she took the box.

"Open it," he said.

"I'm supposed to wait till…" She looked at him. "Fine, okay."

She was trying to forget he'd said it.

She untied the ribbon as if the box was one of those prank kits that popped fake cockroaches out to scare the shit out of people. He wished she would hurry. Among other things, it was still cold out here.

And he watched as she finally opened the box and took out what was in it: a chain necklace with a heart's outline hanging from it, glinting silver in the moonlight.

"It's white gold, not silver," he explained, watching her face as she lifted it out of the box. Her eyes were wide. He decided he liked surprising her.

Not that he'd be able to do it much more—

"I… I can't take this!" She was no doubt thinking of the cost. Or maybe the implications.

"Why not?"

"Because… because…" She stared down at the necklace, lost for words.

Watching her made him smile. A little. He took his hands out of his pockets.

"It works best if you wear it." She didn't move as he took the gift from her fingers and fastened it around her neck.

He stayed behind her for a few seconds, and she turned to face him just like he knew she would. Her eyes found his and he felt them searching.

"What are you looking at me like that for?"

She turned away, stepped back a little. It wasn't good to stand so close to a boy like that. Especially when—

"Is he in there?" He nodded towards the house.

She opened her mouth, about to say 'Who?' But then she knew, and she decided it was useless to pretend. She nodded.

"Oh," he said. "I should go then."

He turned to go home.


She was still standing there, looking a little lonely.


"Why did you have to come now?"

He shrugged. "I don't know what you mean."

"You never… you never said anything. You never said things might have… worked between us."

He looked aside.

"Everyone gets scared."

"…Then why now?!"

Because your hair in the moonlight makes my heart hurt.

Because that lucky bastard in there will never know just how lucky he is.

Heck, because it's Christmas.

"Tell you what," he said with a friendly, polite smile. "Forget about what I said."

She stared. "What?"

"I'll be fine," he said, turning to go now. He could feel her still watching him walk down the road, fists shoved into his pockets, head kept down, collar turned up against the light night breezes.

"I can go back to how things were before," the certain boy called, and then rounded the bend and was gone.

And none of them were brave enough to say it, but they both knew what the certain boy meant.

Back to… just watching.

But not hoping. Not anymore.

Hell, it's Christmas. I don't want to be too selfish.

Liked it? My friend, the one I was writing about, got a bit too sad. But oh well. It was still a nice gift, lol.