I crawl on bloodied hands
Raw and sticky
From tearing at my mind

No

More from tearing at a wall in my soul
Desperately, each breath a scream
I shred my fingers upon it

And endless transparent boundary lies before me
Unimaginably vast it stands
Clear and absolute
As unforgiving and bleak as an endless winter

On the other side I see them
Steeped in the blood of saints
They use and are used
Instruments of their emotions
Vessels of whimsy
Slithering over and into one another
Leaving only black wounds that bleed pain
And beneath it all it seems that I hear
Infants crying hopelessly
Each sob like a heart being cracked open
Beneath it all I hear the true sounds
I see through the lies to the true pain
I know the answer to the question
"Why?!"
I have howled it in my mind
Until the echoes made my ears bleed.

The answers are as clear to me as they are
But as far away from them as they are from me
Billions of bright, shining futures
Clogged like the arteries of the world of man
As it shudders as quakes
Awaiting its inevitable end

I wonder how much blood I shall smear upon this wall
And if the world shall ever see it
Or if it will just remain another stain
Another drop in the ocean of blood
That is filled with the tears of the kind hearted

This is the price I pay
For knowing answers
Which I cannot impart
And ever the wall looms before me

9:10 pm
1/22/2007