I liked you better when you smoked,

When I was convinced you were

Going to die of cancer.

I loved you more when I imagined

Your lungs turning black, and deflating-

Being eaten away.

When I thought of you choking,

Coughing up blood.

I felt safer, when I knew

You wouldn't be able to catch me.

So please Mom, take this.

It's all I have.

Twenty-seven dollars should buy

At least four packs of cigarettes-

Go get yourself four packs and

Smoke them all on the spot, PLEASE-

I need to feel safe again.