I figured out what was in my head—
it wasn't love.
Not romantic love, anyway.
I wanted a brother.
That's all it was.
but in the end,
that's still all it was.
you're the closest thing I have
to an older brother.
Thanks for everything, oniichan.
Note: "oniichan" is an affectionate Japanese term for "older brother." I'm a dork, I know.