The unbearable truth about the pain I hide

You tell me that cutting isn't right,

I say shut up because it's not your fight,

everyday is a battle for me,

seeing less and less of my sanity,

trying to numb the pain inside,

finding it harder to do every time I cry,

all the pain inside,

comes at me with one painful strike,

cold and dark my life becomes,

making it even harder to breathe with my tired lungs,

blocking the memories that I hide,

not seeing how all my feelings will soon collide,

love and hate,

building up so much that it feels as though I'm being crushed by it,

wondering if it will ever subside,

to my relief I see a glimpse of shinning metal,

that same razor blade that comforted my pain before,

the way the light shines off the sharp edge into my eyes,

begging me to give it one last try,

the cold sharp blade calls out to my flesh,

one small chance to feel refreshed,

if only for a minute,

I'd do it to stop my emotions from crossing the limit,

the blade grasped tight in my palm,

sometimes I wonder if this really makes me feel calm,

as I quickly slice my skin,

I feel the pain spilling out from within,

tears fall down my face,

as releaf starts to take it's place,

so if you want to ask me why,

this is how I simply reply.

Ashli

7/22/06