FINALLY!! I was finally able to do it.

I'm so happy. Maye I can try talking to a publisher cause i absolutely love this story to pieces. In case you didn't catch it, this story has been reedited.


New Prelude (might be a little cheezy, but I like it)

Rumors that Sebastian and Peter are together. (throughout)

Winter's last name changed to Orion. (I might change it back to Goth if enough people think it would be better)

More anonymous/Winter letters. (Throughout)

No chapter songs. (sorry. They just got in the way and annoyed me)

Winter's audition scene extended (Middle of Act 1)

Scene with Peter in Science class (Beginning of Act 2) (I felt I needed to fill out Peter's character more so that he seems like a possible candidate for writing the anonymous love letters)

Scene with Winter's Father (Middle of Act 2)

Scene with Peter and Macey in the lunchroom (Middle of Act 3) (More Peter and Macey characterization)

Scene with cross dressing Sebastian (Beginning of Act 4) (this was a treat just for you guys. Teehee!!)

I might have changed some more things but forgot to list them. Some scenes might have moved around to make it flow better, but the general plot line is the same.

Cigarettes, Stalkers, and Other Orgasmic Objects.

By: R.A. Johnson

Act Five – Pomp and Circumstance

When I wake that Sunday morning, I feel groggy and discombobulated.

Yes, I just said discombobulated.

I use weird long words when I'm sleepy.

Don't ask me why.

Anyways, I blink a few times, eyes adjusting to the morning light and shift under my warm covers. I'm about to flop onto my side and go back to sleep when I hear someone clearing their throat nearby.

Suddenly quite awake, I jerk upwards. There's only one other person in this house and I'm not exactly on good terms with them at the moment. It doesn't take me long to find my father on the other side of the room, staring resolutely at his hands with a peculiar look on his scruffy face.

His bulky form is situated in the chair at my desk, legs jutting out awkwardly and hands clasped in his lap. He looks up and frowns at me while I blink back stupidly in reply.

After a couple seconds of tense silence, he clears his throat again and stands up. Silence dominates the room as he trudges, rather slowly, towards my door. Before he exits though, he turns and glances at me over his shoulder, saying his first words to me in almost week.

"Put on some clothes," his low voice is flat, "We're leaving in ten."

He doesn't wait for a reply, just leaves like he always does. I sit there, looking around confusedly, for a good five minutes wondering if I should listen or not. Eventually, I come to the conclusion that it's better just to obey him.

I don't even comb my wild bed head before sighing deeply and venturing out into the living room. Surprisingly, my father's already situated at the front door, jingling the keys in a somewhat anxious manner. This only adds to my own uneasiness, but I follow him out the door anyways.

It's a good fifteen minute drive to our destination, wherever that may be. The entire time, I want to ask where we're going, but my 'nerves of steel' fail me every time I open my mouth.

I don't really know what to expect, but it certainly wasn't him pulling into a seemingly random parking lot in front of an apartment complex. The large beige building isn't anything special, but it is clean and somewhat new looking. Dad shuts off the car so I know that this is definitely where he is taking me.

I timidly get out, shooting my father a quizzical glance over the top of the car, but he ignores me.

After traveling up two flights of stairs and two right turns, we arrive at an apartment, number 314. It looks like all the others from the outside, a milky white door in a long row of bland milky white doors.

My father pulls out a set of keys from his pocket and picks out one of them from the rest. The selected key fits perfectly as he slides it into the lock and the door squeaks as it's opened.

I might be nervous, but I'm still curious, which is quite obvious as I crane my neck over my father's shoulder to see inside.

The apartment is small and empty, but definitely livable. It has plain beige carpet and white walls, but at least there are no rats or holes in the wall. The main room is a kitchen, dining room, living room combination, with a small foyer in front of the door. Three doors are on the far wall, all of them open. Two of them lead into small, even plainer, bedrooms and the third into a standard bathroom.

I examine the apartment in silence, now even more confused. There's a jingling behind me and I turn to see my dad shuffling through the keys again.

"This one's for the front door, the smaller one goes to the dead bolt." He holds the keys up where I can see them, "Trash is picked up on Tuesdays, along with recycling, the laundry mat's down stairs near the lobby, and your parking spots are 184 and 185."

My eyebrow's raise into my hairline.

"Wait…." I say, completely stupefied, "This place…. is mine?"

He just shrugs before grumbling under his breath.

"I thought it would be the best solution. I'm giving you another place to live so I don't have to kick you out."

Suddenly reaching forwards, he pushes the keys into my hands and I'm too shocked to say or do anything.

"It's a one year lease. First four months rent are paid for, not including utilities, and then you're on your own." He then turns around and trudges back through the front door. "I'll be waiting in the car when you're ready to go pick up your stuff."

The drive to school was nerve wracking. I don't really even remember driving. I just remember leaving my new apartment, boxes littering the floor and nothing in the cabinets but ramen noodles, my feet were as heavy as lead, and then I'm walking through the student parking lot at school.

At first my eyes remain glued to my feet, as if scared they would suddenly walk off without me and disappear. In truth though, I am just too scared to look up.

However, after a few gut wrenching moments, I can't help it. I find myself glancing around, searching.

Searching for Sebastian.

And I find him…eventually.

It's kind of hard to miss him, considering he and his friends are sprawled out on the steps of the main entrance from the student parking lot into the school. Macy is sitting in Peter's lap and I have to admit that they look cute together. A few other guys are there too, looking at a PSP and commenting as one of them plays.

Sebastian is just sitting there.

Staring straight at me.

He's waiting, curious. He doesn't know my decision and I can tell its killing him inside. Quite frankly, even I don't know my decision yet.

I meet his gaze for the briefest moment, but then look back down and I make my way slowly up the stairs. As I ascend the steps gradually, each foot fall bringing me closer to Sebastian, I find my gaze traveling to Sebastian's skinny redheaded frame, like a magnetic compass to the North Pole.

This time, when I meet his blue eyes, I see something else.


I have never seen fear on Sebastian before, and I don't like it. He's scared of rejection, he's absolutely petrified. He wants to say something, he wants to do anything. But he stays there, frightened beyond his own comprehending and putting everything on the line.

He is leaving his heart's fate to me.

Oh, god. How can I do this?

What should I do?

Do I really love Sebastian?

Can we be together?

He is the first one who has ever accepted me. He is the first one I have ever fallen this much for. However, the road before will be anything but simple. Our journey will not be easy.

But maybe, just maybe, with Sebastian, I can make it.

I slow down slightly, moving a little to the side so I'm in front of Sebastian. He instantly perks up, head lifting and eyes widening. I open my mouth to say something, anything. I want to tell him that I would like to maybe give this a try.

"Winter! Hey man!" Dakota and a few of my other teammates suddenly tackle me from behind. "Daydreaming or something? Come on, we got to get to class."

I blink and stare at them. Dakota laughs and he and the guys move towards the door, and I'm forced to migrate with the rowdy crowd of fellow classmates. I look behind me at Sebastian, who is still sitting there, stunned.

His already pale skin has become paper white and he looks lost as I move away from him.

"Just think, only a month more of this crap and we're out of here. You know, I just got a call from the nearby university. They want to give me a full scholarsh- What are you looking at?"

Dakota turns to look in the same direction as me, eyes landing on the Drama club group.

Sebastian immediately turns away and looks in the opposite direction, face emotionless.

I feel my stomach sink, and my heart freezes in my chest. I need to talk to him. However, the sad, lost look on Sebastian's face has disappeared, covered by an emotionless, stony expression. He is refusing to look at me; he is refusing to even acknowledge that I'm there. The open, trusting, fragile person I saw a while ago has vanished, and once again, only the cold, sarcastic Sebastian is present.

I think I can feel my own heart breaking as he pointedly stares off into the parking lot.

I can't be here.

This is hurting too much.

"Nothing man…." I say quietly, turning away, and letting them lead me down the hall.

"Winter, what is with you lately?" Dakota asks as I gloomily shuffle stuff around inside my locker. I think I'm looking for my math book, but I can't really remember at the moment. My mind is so jumbled up that I can't really even register that Dakota is standing there worriedly, watching me in my fruitless search.

"Look," He says gently, "I know you and Paris breaking up is hard, but that was a while ago. You have to get over her."

I frown, "It's not Paris."

Now it's Dakota's turn to frown as he leans against the lockers, "Really? Everyone thinks it is."

My shoulder's slump slightly. "No. It's about someone else…."

The clenching in my stomach tightens as Sebastian's face appears in my mind's eye. He's angry…and sad. His eyes have a haunted look to them, asking me why.



"I don't know…." I whisper to myself. "I wish I could figure things out."

"What?" Dakota asks, leaning forward so he can hear me.

I clear my throat loudly, "Nothing."

My hand fastens tightly on the rim of my locker and I'm about to close it when I catch sight of something out of the corner of my eyes.


The bright purple marker glares at me from the montage of graffiti, the obnoxious heart over the 'I' making my stomach twist into an uncomfortable mass of uncomfortableness. Yet, despite this, a small smile forces itself on my face as I remember when he wrote his name on the back of locker. Maybe he knew this would happen.

That I would leave him.

So he decided to put his name there to remind me.

To remind me that he can cover up all the others.

My jaw clenches. The locker bangs as I slam it closed and I don't even bother with putting the lock back on it. Turning, I take off down the hall at a full sprint and trust me when I say I can haul ass if I want to. People scatter as I dodge between them.

The first school bell rings.

I can faintly hear Dakota calling my name behind me, but I don't pay attention.

There's somewhere else I should be.

At first I can't find him.

The parking lot is rapidly becoming empty, since the bell rung everyone's now heading to class. As more and more people leave, I begin to think that he's already in class, out of my grasp.

I know that if I don't do this now, I'll never get another chance

It's just my luck that this would happen.

When I finally have the courage to do something somewhat right; he's not here.

Just as I'm about to give up and head back inside before the tardy bell rings, I see Peter standing near small white car. The passenger side door is open and I think he's talking to someone sitting sideways in the seat. I can faintly see an extra pair of black converse shoes resting on the hot black asphalt near the side of the car. My heart leaps up into my throat as I break off at a run again.

Oh god, please be Sebastian.

Peter hears me run up behind him and turns to face me. His face becomes sour as he recognizes me and I know Sebastian has to be the one inside the car. Closing the door slightly, Peter gives me a glare that would have made any sane person second guess coming near him and I slow down before coming too close.

"Piss off, asshole." He growls, his hands balling into fists.

"Look, I just want to talk to Sebastian."

At the sound of my voice, the extra pair of shoes slide into the car on their own accord.

"Sebastian-" I call out, trying to get him to talk to me, but Peter cuts me off.

"He doesn't want to talk to you." Peter says coolly, "Now, you walked away once, just walk away again and everything would be downright peachy."

"No, it won't" I reply back, "It won't be because I will never have a chance to explain myself to the one I love."

Peter pauses slightly, turning to look at the passenger side door, which is slightly ajar. I know Sebastian can hear me, so I take a leap of faith and continue.

"You hear that, Sebastian?" I say loudly, "I love you."

Everything is still for a while, as if someone with divine power hit the pause button on the world remote. I think even my heart stopped for a couple seconds as I stood there, waiting.


I realize that this is what Sebastian must have been doing this entire time. Waiting. Waiting for me to wake up; to snap out of this trance I've been in. I had never noticed how out of touch I had been with the world around me until now, and quite frankly I find it pathetic.

I'm about to resign myself to rejection and turn around when Peter, who's been looking between me and Sebastian still hidden behind the car door, gives a roll of his eyes and backs away from the passenger side door.

"You guys are both hopeless." He grumbles, and tucks his hands into the pockets of his skinny jeans. As he passes me on his way to the school entrance, his eyes narrow.

"Break his heart and I'll break your neck." He says simply, voice holding no malice but still dead serious. He says nothing else and continues nonchalantly on his way up to class. As he leaves, the passenger door swings the rest of the way open and I see a familiar skinny face with red hair and freckles.

"Damn," I mumble to Sebastian once Peter's out of earshot, "Is he your best friend or your attack dog?"

The redhead gives me a peculiar look before grinning, "I like to think of him as my loving bodyguard."

"Lovely…." I remark dryly. As I stare at him, my throat contracts and it's suddenly dryer than the fucking Sahara desert. I don't know what the say really that can explain this and still not destroy the only thing that's gone right in my life in a long time.

"Sebastian, before I screw this up or this becomes worse than it already is, I want to say that I'm sorry. I truly am sorry and just because I walked away doesn't mean I don't want to be with you."

Sebastian's face remains emotionless, eyes rapidly becoming vacant.

"Honestly, your one of the best things that's happened to me. I'm just going through a lot and while you have come to terms with who you are, I still have a lot of trouble with my sexuality. I wish I could be like you and be just live my life how I want and be happy, but I can't. Just give me time to sort things out and I swear I will love you with everything I have."

I step forward kneeling by the side of the car and peering anxiously up into Sebastian's gray blue eyes.

"Please stay with me." I whisper.

The redhead stares at me for the longest time. Just staring. I can't tell what he's thinking and it's driving me insane, but I stay there, hard pavement digging into my knees.

Sebastian lets out a huge sign of air, tense shoulders relaxing in the process.

"Goddamn you…" He mutters under his breath and suddenly wraps his arms firmly around me. My face is now pressed firmly into his slender chest and I can smell his cologne. It's kinda fruity, little flowery, but it suits him.

I can't help but let out a sigh of my own, the difference that it is out of a desperate relief. I bring up both arms and hug his closer to me, loving the feel of his body against mine.

"Thank you."

-Three Months Later-

"I give you Battle Creek High School's graduate class of '09" The principle's nasally voice blares of the loudspeaker and he stand on the open stage with the microphone.

The three hundred graduating seniors are situated in ten rows in the chairs in front of him while the stands are filled with families and younger students. The high school always has its graduation ceremony on the football field and this year is no exception. Thankfully the sun is shining brightly, only a few white clouds drifting lazily among the blue.

A mass of red and black also appear in the sky as the seniors all toss their caps, yelling and cheering. Applause and screaming can be heard from the stands. I think I can even see my father in the back of the stands, dark eyes narrowed and his arms crossed. At least he came.

A few of my teammates have started to chant.

"Class of-"

Three claps.

"Zero nine."

Three claps.

"Class of-"

I have to join in.

The Honors cords around my neck keep on slipping but I don't really care. Looking around I see tons of familiar faces.

Dakota leading a large group in '09 chants.

Peter up on stage shaking hands with the other three other salutatorians along with the two valedictorians. The brainiac.

Paris giggling with her friends. I catch her eye and give her a wink, to which she answers by sticking out her tongue.

A pair of arms snake around my waist from behind and a now familiar chin rests on my shoulder. I smile.

"Hey you." I say, leaning back into the embrace. Sebastian gives a chuckle and kisses behind my ear.

It's kind of weird doing this in public, but at this point I really don't care. I'm just too happy. I can finally get out of this place, away from the drama, and focus on me and my redheaded other half entirely. I haven't exactly come out of the closet entirely, but Sebastian and I have been taking it slow and I honestly don't think I could do this without him.

He's been my patient guardian angel.

We've gotten very close over these past few months.

As we chat, my dad slowly makes his way towards me. We give each other nods of acknowledgment, and he holds his hand out towards me.

"Congrats." He rumbles and I take his hand to shake it firmly.


Dad's eyes land on Sebastian, "Who's this?"

"I'm Sebastian." the redhead shows no fear as he too extends his hand.

Dad frowns, "Are you two…" His voice trails of uncertainly.

Sebastian opens his mouth again to speak, but I cut his off.

"Yes," I wrap an arm around Seb's midsection, "We're together."

Dad gives a slight grunt and nothing else. I can tell he's not happy, but at least he keeps it to himself. "And what do you do?" He asks gruffly.

I roll my eyes, "Dad…"

He gives me sharp look, "Let me be curious Winter."

My eyes widen slightly. I thought he was just trying to be an ass, but maybe I was wrong. Sebastian remains calm and polite.

"I'm attempting to get into Julliard at the moment. My auditions went pretty well, so I'm hoping for some good news soon."


Sebastian smiles, "It's one of the top performing arts schools in the United States. I'm going there hopefully in the fall. I would like to be an actor, on stage and maybe even in movies."

The two make small talk. I don't bother joining. The conversation is strained at best and I worship Sebastian for putting up with it. I probably wouldn't have even bothered to let the two of them meet if my father decided to be rude though. Maybe this is one small baby step towards me and dad accepting each other.

After my dad's satisfied and says his goodbyes, me and Sebastian mingle with the rest of the students, teachers, and families scattered all over the green field.

"That went well." Sebastian says happily.

I snort, "Could have gone a lot worse."

"Pessimist." He gives me a poke in the ribs. I slap his hands away playfully and reply.

"No. Realist."

"At least he tried."

"True." I nod and give a small smile.

"So you haven't still heard from Julliard yet?" I ask, changing subject while I wave to some guy on the basketball team I used to practice with.

"No." His face falls slightly.

"Don't worry. You probably made it." I say giving him a one armed hug of comfort. "It's just a very, very selective school and these things take time. You didn't audition all that long ago."

Seb sigh, "yeah….I still think that you should audition as well. You're a great actor and I think you'd make it."

I give Sebastian a 'get real' kind of look. He's sweet, but there's no way I'd get it. I'm about to voice this out loud but I'm abruptly cut off.

"Winter!" My name is called all over the cacophony of noise and I turn to see Dakota standing nearby with his parents. He waves me over. I take the invite and Sebastian follows.

Of the few people who now know that I'm gay, Dakota was surprisingly one of the most supportive.

Ever since Sebastian and I made up that time in the parking lot, we've been hanging out a lot together. Dakota, being one of my closest friends, asked me one day when we were alone after practice if I was gay and I just didn't feel like saying no. I expected him to run around spreading it to the entire school, but he actually just shook his head, called me a homo and hasn't said anything publicly about it since.

The only thing different is that he no longer torments Sebastian, which is definitely a positive because nowadays I would pummel any guy who touched my little redhead.

"Hey man," We pull each other into a one armed hug. "We made it."

He grins, "Thank god. No more of this shit."

Dakota suddenly realizes he's still in his parent's presence and shoots them a nervous glance because of his language. His mother gives him the look, but his father greets me with a smile.

"Mom, dad, this is my best mate Winter and his boyfriend Sebastian."

Dakota's father's smile falters slightly and his mother's eyes go wide. There's an awkward moment, in which I stand there like a deer caught in the headlights, but suddenly Dakota's brothers come up to join the family. They grab the sibling brother and give him noogies and whatnot. It's a big jumble of brotherly love and I stay quiet, trying not to draw the attention of Dakota's parents.

As I stand there, I notice that Sebastian has gone impossible stiff, back straight and hands clenched.

He glances at me out of the corner of his eye.

At first I don't understand what's wrong, but then I remember his past history with a certain Weller family member. As I search the four young men in front of me, my eyes come to rest on one particular blond. He's a little shorter than his brothers, but still as handsome and he has the same jockish look as Dakota.

"You know my brothers, don't you Winter?" Dakota say, breaking away from them. "Andrew," A slender brunette with blue eyes, "Benji," Pale blond with green eyes, "and Adrian."

Adrian looks over at us, arm slung over his younger brother's shoulders happily, but the moment he catches sight of Sebastian, he freezes. He looks like somebody just slapped him in the face as the two ex-lovers stare each other down.

I feel my arm snake out and clamp firmly around Sebastian's waist. The action is a little possessive, a little protective, but mostly trying to be supportive.

"Yeah, I've met Benji and Adrian before." I say, trying to act like nothing is going on. I stick my hand out to the oldest Weller sibling, Andrew, "Hiyas."

He takes it happily, but casts a curious glance at the arm around Seb's waist. I notice that Adrian is also giving my arm a careful look. He looks… kinda jealous actually and I feel my insides swell in satisfaction.

"This is Sebastian," I decide to say while nodding my head towards the shorter male next to me. Andrew shakes his hand as well while Benji silently gives the redhead a nod. Sebastian completely takes me by surprise when he turns to Adrian, a smile on his face and says sweetly.

"Hey Adrian. Long time, no see." Despite his outward ease, I can tell he's antsy. Is he scared? Hurt?

God, I don't want him to be hurt again.

Adrian is just as surprised, but catches himself quickly, "Yeah, it's been a while. How have you been?"

"Awesome! Been working on the Drama stuff. Trying to get into a college, maybe get a scholarship or two. You?"

Adrian visibly relaxes, taking Sebastian's outward friendliness as a sign he has no ill intentions. However, something tells me that the mischievous redhead next to me isn't exactly playing nicely.

"I've just been finishing up my degree, trying to get a better job than the one I'm at now. Still playing football." He gives Sebastian a furtive glance, "I've been seeing this girl who's a psyche major."

Sebastian's eyes narrow slightly and he cocks his head. The look on his face is one of confusion, but I can see the malice in his eyes.

"Oh, so you're still pretending to be straight?" He says bluntly, and a little too loudly to just have been a casual statement.

Adrian instantly pales.

Dakota, who had gotten bored with the conversation and started joking with his brothers, pauses, "Wait. What?" He says, glancing between Sebastian and Adrian.

The rest of the family has a similar reaction and Adrian looks like he's about to cry or something. However, I feel nothing as he gives his parents a petrified look and opens his mouth to say something. Nothing comes out.

Poor poor Adrian.

"Oh shit," Sebastian suddenly says, putting a hand over his mouth, "They don't know?" He asks Adrian, looking ashamed.

"I'm so sorry." Sebastian sounds genuinely sorry, but I know he's just acting. I personally believe he should win a Grammy or something for this performance. He's totally pulling it off.

We quietly leave the Weller family, Sebastian looking awkward and apologetic.

As we walk away, I speak up, "His parents are really conservative. Are you sure that was the right thing to do?"

Sebastian's face darkens, but an evil smirk slowly curves his pale lips. It gives me the shivers. "At this point I can't discern what's right and what's wrong so who the fuck cares?" His voice is maliciously playful and he grins cheekily up at me.

"You know," I say, ramming my hands into my pockets, "I'm really glad you're on my side."

As I open the door, letting Sebastian in before me, I pull the tie from around my neck. Scratching at an itchy spot under my chin, I make my way into the kitchen area, suddenly ravenous. Hey, three hours of sitting there listening to teachers drone on will make you a little hungry.

Sebastian weaves his way through his boxes towards our bedroom, pulling off his shirt in the process. He moved in about four days ago to keep his parents happy. Lazy little bastard still hasn't unpacked all of his boxes even though I threatened to leave them outside for the trash men to pick up. I'd never really do that, but at least it got him to unpack the first five boxes he brought over here.

Now for the next twenty.

I offered the second bedroom to him about a month ago, but he refused, saying it wasn't the right time. I was ecstatic when he finally came up and asked if the offer still stood. He didn't bring any of his larger furniture though and I was even more overjoyed when I realized this meant we might be sharing a bed. Unfortunately, he slept on the couch the first two days and I just got him last night to sleep in my bed with me.

We haven't had sex yet.

Sure, we've played around, blowjobs and such, but I'm beginning to get antsy. Having him sleep next to me last night was probably what pushed me over the edge.

I want Sebastian.

Still, I'm not gonna push him. The first night he got here and slept on the couch, I called him a prude and he didn't talk to me all of the next day. By dinner that night, I was suffering from Sebastian withdrawals and apologized.

We kissed and made up, but my sexual frustration still hasn't been satisfied.

It's driving me nuts and foreplay, however enjoyable it may be, only does so much after a while.

Sebastian flips the light off and I hear the soft padding of his feet as he slips into bed next to me. We shift around each other till we're comfortably snuggled under the covers, his head resting on my – regrettably clothed – chest.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to one of the grad parties?" Sebastian asks, "It's only ten right now, we can still go if you want?"

"Nah. We went and had dinner with your friends. I've had enough of high school parties anyways." I say, shrugging one shoulder.

In truth, I just don't want to get drunk and do anything stupid to Sebastian. With my current animal urges racing through me I know it wouldn't end pretty and I'd look like a major ass.

"Well," Sebastian picks his head up off my chest and grins down at me. "We could always do something else."

My groin tightens as he says this, but I try not to get my hopes up. Still, I can flirt and not act like I was expecting anything.

"Oh?" I kiss his exposed neck, "Like what?"

He shifts his weight so he's lying comfortably on top of me. "I dunno…" He snickers as I growl when our lower halves meld together, "Stuff…."

Ok, he's seriously asking for it, but the lustful look in his eyes tells me that he was planning this the entire time.

One hand slips behind his neck and bring his lips crashing down on mine. Tongues soon enter the mix and I feel him shudder in my grasp. He tastes so good and I only break away when I have this dire need to breathe.

I tug at his shirt and soon nothing but pale chest is present, ready to be played with. He pulls my shirt up as well and I bite and suck on his smooth skin, by now knowing all of the sensitive spots that make his breath hitch. Sebastian is extremely sensitive and I love how he can't help but twitch when I attack the pulse point on his neck or run my tongue over pert nipples. His nails dig into my side, creating little indentions.

I want to flip us over so I'm on top.

I want to yank off those pants, spread his legs and fuck him till we're exhausted.

Lately however, I've also been interested in something else. You see, whenever I pictured myself with someone, I've always been the dominate one. Sebastian is clearly someone who likes playing catcher, so it seemed natural for us to assume our roles in this relationship without question.

I don't exactly know how to voice this to Sebastian, but I want to know what it's like to be on bottom.

I'm so caught up in my lustful thoughts that Sebastian manages to get my boxer bottoms down to my thighs before he complains that I'm not helping him. I life my ass off the sheets so he can slip them further down my legs with ease. He then pulls away for a moment to discard his own bottoms.

He so fucking beautiful. I swear I feel like a caveman compared to him, but he always rolls his eyes whenever I say this out loud. His cock is hard and straining between his legs and I know mine must look the same, red and pulsing. We both learned rather fast that I was quite a bit bigger than him in the genital organ department, but his seems to fit him while mine is just awkwardly uncomfortable.

"Sebastian," I groan between clenched teeth, reaching up and digging my fingers into his back. He kisses me passionately, grinding our lower halves together and making our erections rub in the most sinful way possible. The friction is killing me, but I want more.

"Dammit Seb," I moan, "Take me."

At this moment, I'm his. I would do anything he told me without question.

Sebastian pauses the moment the words leave my mouth. His eyes are wide and confused. "What?"

"You heard me," I said, looking up at him through slanted eyes, "Take me."

"But I thought…" He stumbles over his words, face turning as red as his hair, "I mean, I normally bottom and I thought you liked to top."

"Well at the moment I want you inside me."

Sebastian looks away, a delicately confused frown on his face. "Why?"

"Why did you not want to have sex with me until now?" I answer his question with another question. This annoys him, but he thankfully doesn't pull away.

"Because I wanted to make sure this was real,' He states uncomfortably, fidgeting slightly on top of me, which isn't exactly helping my erection, "That I wasn't just some guy you were curious about fucking."

"Well that's exactly why," I say, bringing up one hand and rubbing the knuckles against his cheek gently. At his confused look I continue. "I want to give myself to you to show you this is real and that I love."

The hand snakes around his neck, winding into his soft red hair and I pull him down so our faces are merely inches apart, noses almost touching.

"I'm yours, Sebastian Winchester," I state simply, kissing one cheek, "Totally," I kiss the other cheek, a little closer to his mouth, "And completely." I press my lips to his and feel them slowly curl into a smile. He returns the kiss, chastely at first, but then opens his mouth and forces me to join a fierce game of tongue-o-war.

"One sec." He says quietly once we pull away. Leaning over the far side of the bed, he begins digging in the top drawer of my nightstand. I let him put his own clothes in my drawers, but I can't imagine what he'd want in there.

Unless he going to blindfold me with his underwear.

He actually resurfaces with a small plastic tube which I recognize to be some sort of lubricant.

I blush when I realize what he's going to use it for.

My stomach knots up, but I just can't bring myself to make this stop as he kneels between my spread legs.

I want this so much it's beginning to hurt deep in my gut.

Sebastian coats his fingers with the slimey stuff and looks up at me as he sits there. I nod and smile at him, letting him know I'm not joking when I said I wanted him to fuck me. The lube is cold and I jump slightly when the first finger pushes its way gently past the tight ring of muscle. It's more uncomfortable than anything else, but I know one finger isn't going to be the last thing rammed up my ass tonight.

Two fingers follow and then three. Three is a painful number I learn, but manageable after a while. As he slowly pumps his fingers in and out, they suddenly hit something deep inside me that sends everything reeling. I hear a loud cry of pleasure fill the room and it takes me a moment to realize its mine.

Looking up at Sebastian through my lust-filled gaze, I see him smirking.

"Stop fucking with me Sebastian." I growl and reach for him. He lets me grab him and pull him on top of me instead of sitting between my legs.

"Needy little whore…." He mutters playfully, and I tighten my grip around his wrists.

"I blame you, you tease." I sneer back, but kiss along his neck all the same.

Sebastian grabs one of my legs and I feel him aligning his body with mine. I tense slightly at the thought, but then realize that will just make it worse. I trust Sebastian, I know he would never hurt me. Plus he's done this before. It's probably better that I learn how to do this before I try the same thing on him. It'd kill me if I ever hurt him again.

The penetration is slow and agonizing and a whimper of pain escapes my lips. I want him to get it over with already, but he remains in control and keeps steady until he's impaled me entirely.

We both pause for a moment, getting used to the feeling.

"You ok?" He asks breath ghosting over my neck.

"Yes." I groan out, "Just move."

Sebastian gives half snort, half laugh, but immediately complies with my demand. He sets a slow pace at first, leisurely and for the most part careful. It takes me a while to get used to the feeling of being filled like this, but the pain gradually lessens and soon I find my hips rocking on their own accord, meeting Sebastian's pace. I'm calling out Sebastian's name like a chant, and he moans in response. Pleasure is rippling throughout my body, mainly pooling in my lower abdomen and feeding my lust.

I attempt to quicken the pace, but Sebastian remains in control, keeping his maddeningly slow pace.

"Faster." I say, voice gargled slightly.

"What?" he asks, leaning in close to me.

"Fuck me faster!" I cry out and the redhead above me finally complies. Our bodies fit like a puzzle piece together, moving in sync with each other perfectly. Sebastian rams into me harder and harder, sweat beading at his brow. His eyes are screwed shut in concentration and I reach up to caress his neck. He leans down and kisses me, moving down to create love marks on my neck while his pulsating cock hits that sensitive spot inside me again and again. It feels so good and it makes me gasp every time.

After while of building up, I finally reach my climax, spilling my seed all over my stomach with a heady moan. I feel myself tighten around Sebastian and this sends him over the edge as well.

The euphoric bliss afterwards left me dazed and all I could see was starry white. I could feel Sebastian above me, sweaty and trembling. He collapses on top of me and I'm thankful he's the smaller between the two of us. I pull my jello imitation arms up slowly and wrap them around him, keeping my ragged breath even.

His face is tucked underneath my chin and I love how he fits perfectly against me.

This is what I want.

I want this feeling, in this moment, with Sebastian.


I'd do anything got keep this and I feel my arms tighten involuntarily around the skinny pale redhead lying on top of me.

Kissing his sweaty head, I whisper into his hair, "I love you."

Seb stays still for a moment, but I can feel him smile into my collar bone. When he speaks, his lips gently caress my skin, raising slight goose bumps all over my chest and arms.

It's the butterfly touch from an angel.

"I love you too." He answers back, voice soft.

Content, I relax and close my eyes, awaiting a visit from the sandman. Sebastian remains still so I think he is doing the same, his body cooling and breath evening out.

I don't know who fell asleep first, but it was in each other's arms.


I want to personally glomp and love all the people who have been so supportive of this story. Each review made my day!! Whenever i was down I would always go back and read them, even though I'm a lazy bastard and never replied, that didn't mean the reviews meant nothing. Far from.

I also want to personally thank the amazing NewAgeRembrant. None of this would have been possible without him. I don't know why we stopped talking, but i miss him dearly.

I thought about leaving it as a possible sex scene, like the two flirting and closing the bedroom door, but i decided to go all out. Well, were you satisfied? lolz

I want to talk to a publisher about this story. Maybe do a small collection of this and my one-shots...hmmm...

Anyways, ttfn

luveths ya'll!!

PS: you didn't hear this from me, but there's rumors of a encore floating about...