Your Lips So Close to Mine



It's me, you and Rose, sitting in the back of the Laundromat. You and Rose watch as I pull out my clothes from the drying machine.

"Why do you do laundry?" Rose asks curiously, quirking an eyebrow at me as I fold a green shirt. "Isn't that stuff girls are supposed to do?"

I shrug. "No reason really. I just need something to do." I reply simply as I sit in a chair, pulling out a pair of jeans and folding them. You watch me, saying nothing.

It's a while before I finally finish folding the clothes. "Alright," I say as I lean back in my seat and fold my hands behind my head, "Let's catch up on things. Gosh, it's been so long since I've seen you girls."

"Yeah… a long time." You finally speak with a quick nod.

I look at you. "You've changed a lot." I say, observing you. "You're much quieter now than you were before. And you've grown only around an inch or two… How tall are you now?"

"Five foot seven."

"Wow…"

Rose smiles and shakes her head. "She's only quiet 'cause she doesn't know what to talk about. Trust me, she could never change. She's still as cool as before." She says. You smile at her. "Well," she continues, glancing at the clock. "Time for me to head on out." With that said she quickly gets up and rushes out before you could say anything.

Next thing you know, I'm tickling you. "Yup… still as ticklish as before too." I say, chuckling.

You growl at me, and chase me around the Laundromat until you corner me in the cramped space at the very back; all the boxes and extra detergents gets stored there..

Then I realized I had you right where I wanted you.

We play around for a little while, but of course, you give up (as easily as you always do) and stop. You turn to walk away but I quickly grab your wrist, pulling you back to me.

I'm not going to miss my chance.

I wrap my arms around your waist, my other hand still gripping your wrist. I pull your body tightly against mine, almost as if we were going to dance, it seemed. I didn't care who saw us, though we didn't have to worry about that, since no one ever came to the back of the Laundromat. You whisper my name ever so softly as my lips near yours. I could feel the intense heat between us, escaping through our lips and mingling together…



Your lips so close to mine…

"Laundromat closing in five minutes!"

The sudden voice startles us; we quickly separate with blushing cheeks. I clear my throat, letting you go and stepping past you toward the laundry bag containing my clothes. I wait for you as you slowly move out of the cramped space, grabbing the bag and draping it over my shoulder. We walk silently out together across the street toward the Mill Houses.

"Well, um… I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." I say quietly, glancing over at you. You walk to me and wrap your arms around me in an embrace. I put down my laundry bag and wrap my arms around you, pulling you close to me. We stand there silently for a moment. When you finally let me go, I notice a tear rolling down your cheek. Without a word I reach out and gently wipe it off your cheek, then softly kissing it. You wave to me, and then walk slowly away into your house, while I pick up my bag again and walk away to mine.

I dream about you that night.

- - -

I saw you in a peach dress, standing on the rocks at the beach. And I swear I've never seen a figure more beautiful in my life. You saw me too, walking along the sand. You cried out my name and you ran to me, jumping off the rocks with the wind in your hair as you ran as fast as you could. When you came close you jumped, arms spread out wide. I caught you and we both fell to the sand, the cool waves splashing against us…

You kissed me ever so tender…so sweet it's almost like a first bite of my favorite chocolate fudge cake. But it's even better… much better. It was a pure feeling.

I fell in love with you. From the moment I saw you in that peach dress, I fell in love with you.

- - -

The next day I sit outside, watching the other boys as they play basketball in the court. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see you walking all alone, listening to your iPod. You're headed toward the store.

I get up and follow you.

When I finally catch up to you, I gently pat your shoulder. A bit startled, you turn around to see who it is. Your lips form into a beautiful smile as your chocolate brown eyes look up into mine. "Hey," you say with the smile still in place, "what's up?"

"Nothing much." I reply simply. "How are you feeling?"



I watch as your expression changes. "A little down."

I quirk up an eyebrow. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I'm… I'm moving." You look up at me, and I feel the pain going through you.

"Moving? Where?"

"Down to Florida."

I was almost speechless. "A-are you serious?"

You nod slowly and look away from me.

"When?"

"In about two weeks."

For a brief moment there was silence between us.

"Do you want to go to the park?" I ask in hopes of cheering you up, but it doesn't work. You shake your head.

"No thanks…" You say in reply, sighing as you turn off your iPod. "I'm just going to sit at home and do nothing."

"Or maybe," I quickly say with a smile, "you can hang out with me, that today and every day, for the next two weeks until you move. I'll treat you to whatever you want. How does that sound?"

You smile again as you look up at me. "Really?" I nod. "Sounds like a date!" You say happily.

Heat rose to my cheeks. "I-I didn't say that it was a--"

"But I did." You interrupt, taking my wrist in your hand and dragging me away. "Where should we go today?"

"Well," I begin, "since I have the keys to my dad's car, I was thinking maybe we could go downtown and--"

"Okay!" You interrupt yet again. I smile as I unlock the car doors. I start the engine. I look at you for a moment, letting the engine heat up; I crawl out of the parking space and drive us away.



It was almost 9:30 pm when we returned; you laughed and smiled and talked all the way back. I enjoyed every minute of it.

"Okay now, that's enough for today." I say, chuckling softly as I park the car and turn off the engine. You take a deep breath, and your laughter ceases to soft giggles. I look at you. "You had fun today?"

"I sure did!" You reply, grinning as your gaze meets mine. Our smiles slowly fade as we look at each other. My gaze drops to your lips… those gorgeous lips of yours… and we move closer to each other. I gently slip my hand around your neck, pulling you ever closer to me, watching as your eyes close, your lips slightly parting…

Your lips so close to mine…

A gunshot rings out.

We both jump back at the same time, startled from the sudden noise that broke the silence. Just as yesterday, our cheeks blush red. After a moment of silence we quickly move out of the car to the houses.

"Are you going to be alright?" You ask me as we walk up the steps to your porch. I nod silently as I watch you pull out your keys. After a quick good-bye hug you walk inside and slowly close the door. But, as I turn to leave, I suddenly stop.

"What the hell am I thinking?"

I quickly turn; the door is almost shut. I rush forward and put my hand out, flattening my hand on the door and opening it back up. You become startled and step back with wide eyes. "Sorry," I apologize as I pull you back outside towards me.

Your lips so close to mine…

Voices.

You pull away; worried that it might be your mother. I sigh as you step back, looking through the doorway. "Mom?" You call out.

"Come inside, you're late for dinner!" The woman calls back. You look at me.

"I'm sorry." You whisper to me. I couldn't keep the gaze, so I tore away.

"It's okay. I'll just see you tomorrow."

"Yeah… see you." We suddenly smile at each other. But I felt mine being forced off. I watch you turn away and move to the door. You glance back at me and wave before walking inside.



- - -

It's the beginning of the second week.

We've been having a total blast together.

We're having a picnic today, complete with a blanket and a basket of food to eat. I hand you an apple as I tell you the story about the scar on my arm.

"No way… really?" You ask me, eyes wide as you look at it.

"Yup. And the scar's still visible." I reply, pulling up my sleeve a little more to show off my scar. It was a thin line, traveling around my shoulder in a half-circle. "I was lucky though. Had I not pushed him away, my whole arm would've been cut off completely." I add as I pull my sleeve back down.

"Whoa… you sure were lucky."

"Yeah."

"You know," you begin, shifting on the grass as you sit back against the bark of the tree, "I dreamt about you last night."

I quirk up an eyebrow, smiling at you. "Really?"

"Yup."

"Can you tell me what it was about?"

"It was about you, duh."

"Details or it never happened."

"Like how? What details?" You ask, giggling. I love it when you act puzzled…

"Tell me what happened."

You slowly shake your head, grinning.

"Oh, please?"

"Uh-uh."

"Come on, please?"

"Nope!"



I purse my lips, crossing my legs and arms and turning my gaze from you. "Fine then… I won't speak to you."

You gasp. "No, no! Okay I'll tell you!" You quickly say as you reach out and touch my arm.

Such a gentle touch…

I shake my head, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. "Nope! Too late. I don't want to hear about your dream." I say, standing up and walking away.

"No! I'm sorry!" You call to me as you spring up to your feet and chase me. "I was kidding! I was kidding!"

"Too late!" I walk around you to the car, unlocking it and opening the door. But you rush in front of me, push me away and shut the door, leaning against it to block me from entering.

"I was only kidding!" You say loudly, placing your hands on my shoulders to keep me away from the car. I keep quiet. "So… you still don't want to hear my dream…?" You ask softly, your chocolate brown eyes looking into mine.

I sigh, taking a small step back and folding my arms. "Fine." I say, looking away from you. "Tell me what happened in your dream."

You remain quiet for a moment, before slowly beginning the story of your dream. I couldn't help but turn my gaze to you as you spoke. The way you move your hands in small gestures as you describe the scenes and how beautiful they looked. But my eyes were locked on your lips. Those luscious lips of yours… I crave them. I crave them so badly…

"… And then when I turned around to look at you, you smiled at me," you continue, looking at me, "'You look beautiful tonight,' you said. And then you--"

Without letting you finish I unfold my arms and wrap them around you, leaning against you so that you wouldn't move anywhere -- not that you would, anyway…

Your lips so close to mine…

I hear a noise. I stop.

"… and then you kissed me…" You say softly after a moment of nothing, looking into my eyes.

"Really?"

"Yes." You gently bite your bottom lip, a small smile crossing your face. I smile back.



I smile back. "So, do you think I could--"

I feel something hot in my chest; a rough, burning sensation. My back starts to hurt a bit, too. I let out a hissing-like noise, my eyes squinting shut. My chest starts to hurt, and my head throbs in pain. What was this pain?

Was I having a heart attack?

No, I'm too young for that. I highly doubt a heart attack would burn this much… would it? I mean, I've seen someone have a heart attack but it didn't look like it felt as bad as this.

Your voice fills my ears. "Hey… are you okay…? Hey--"

I feel weaker suddenly; I can't hold up my weight any longer. I limp over you, my knees finally giving away as I fall to my knees on the ground. You lay me down, gently slapping my cheek and calling for me. I try to say something, but my throat seems to be shut… now I can't even breathe… it hurts… my chest… it hurts…

"What's wrong?! Talk to me!" Your tender, gentle fingers stroke my cheeks and wipe my tears, but nothing comes from me. I can't say anything; it's like being trapped underground with no air… I can't breathe. Damn it… it hurts. I hear my name over and over again… and every time it becomes farther away… what the hell is happening to me?!

What the heck is going on?!

"No… please… don't…" I feel something wet fall on my face. It can't be rain… there's no clouds. You mumble something else, something I don't understand but it sounds like…

"Love."

Love…

Had you said it?

That… you… love me?

I can't hear you… Can you hear me?

My vision blacks out, and I no longer see your beautiful face.

- - -

"… A stray bullet. His heart was badly wounded; it's highly unlikely he'll make it past the next hour. We're doing everything we can, and we've tried everything… but he is barely able to keep up with the respirator…"



I hear it. I hear the man's voice. So that's what it was... it really wasn't a heart attack. But, as I become more aware of myself, the pain in my chest comes back. I flinched unconsciously, breathing deeply to try to get my body to relax. But the pain doesn't go away. So I just look around.

The first thing I see is the back of your head, which is concealed by the hood of my black sweater that you put on. I watch as your hand moves out of your pocket to hand the tall man in front of you a small box. I hear mumbling coming from you, but I can't understand what you're saying to him. When the man leaves, you turn to me, and stop.

Your lips move but you don't say anything. Slowly you make your way toward me, and I can see your eyes filling up and turning red. I can't do anything but watch you now. I gratefully close my eyes as I feel your hand gently touching my forehead. I look at you and try to force a smile, but I can't even move my body. You say something but I only hear you mumble. Instead of asking what you had said, I narrow my eyes a little. You understood what I meant and came close to my ear, running your fingers through my hair.

"I was so worried…" You say to me, kissing my temple. Your lips are cold. "I was so scared… I'm so glad you're awake."

My lips tremble as I struggle to make noise… some kind of noise. My throat feels so swollen that I can't even get anything out. I shut my eyes in struggle, pushing at my lungs to push out some kind of noise…

The first thing that comes out of my mouth is your name. I look at you; I watch the tears come out of your eyes as you take my hand in both of yours.

I say your name again.

"Talk to me…" You say softly.

I've never felt so much pain in my life… I feel like no one, like a lost soul. I can't move and I could barely manage a breath. Honestly, I don't even know how I was even able to wake up. I'm sure any other person would kill themselves if they knew they were guaranteed to die in such a short amount of time. I felt I needed to save time…

I look at you, deep into your eyes.

"Turn me off." I whisper.

You seemed hurt by my response, and you shake your head furiously. "I… no… don't make me do that!" You grip my hand. Your tears fall onto our entangled fingers. "I-I can't do that--"



"Please… if you…" I can't maintain my words. A beat in my heart suddenly becomes rough and I cough hard. My stomach muscles tighten, pulling me up in a sitting position and I yell out in pain. My back hurts too…

I think I'm going to die; I can feel it. Now I truly know what it feels like to die. It's disappointing.

You tried so hard to calm me down.

"You'll be okay…" You say wiping my cheek. You help me back down on the bed. "They'll take care of you and you'll be better! They're doing everything they can…"

I shake my head. "No… I can't hold onto this… I don't want to wait any longer… You heard what the guy said. Just… just unplug--"

"No! Stop it… Don't make me do that…" You sob. "Please."

"Do it."

"I can't…" My heart beats roughly. I think it's almost my time.

"Please…"

"Don't say that…" You plead. I shake my head slowly.

Silence.

"I can't hold on any longer… I can't."

You almost scream my name. "No… don't leave…" You fall to your knees next to me, your head falling on our hands. I can see your shoulders shaking.

"I'm sorry." I grip your hand, and you grip mine. Our eyes meet. "Please forgive me, but can't hold this out." I shut my eyes tightly as I become nauseous. My stomach hurts… I cough again, and blood seeps out the corner of my mouth.

"Oh God… I'm going to get a doctor." You turn to go, but I forcefully pull you back.

"No!" I whisper to you, frowning softly. "Just… just listen to me." You become quiet. "Please… just do it for me."

You refuse, shaking your head.

"No… I won't do it. I can't do it…"



I sigh, looking away from you. I release my grip from your wrist. I remain quiet a moment, thinking. I knew I wasn't going to be able to get you to do it, not after you made your decision. You were always that way, sticking to your decisions. No one would ever be able to persuade you otherwise… you really are strong. I love you for that.

"Then don't do it."

You seem to look hurt by my comment. I don't look at you, keeping my gaze away to the other side of the room.

"But know this," I continue, "just know that…" I pause. "Just know that I love you. Love is a really strong feeling, I know… but, that's what I feel for you. I'm glad we spent those two weeks together. I'm glad that… after all of this… I was finally able to tell you how I felt… in the end." I turn my head to look you in the eyes. "I love you."

You take my hand again, looking back into my eyes.

"I love you too…" You say softly.

I smile softly, despite the pain in my heart as it beats harder. "I'm… I'm glad to hear that…" You lean forward toward me, moving your hair from your eyes as your lips draw closer.

Your lips so close to mine…

You kiss my forehead, and sit back down, my hand still in yours.

"I'll see you later." You say to me with a smile.

I can feel the pain going away now, and I get a nice sense of peace… I was wrong; dying isn't all that bad. It feels nice. The man rushes back inside towards me, rushing around the bed as he moves to grab something, but you stop him, mumbling a few words. I can't hear you anymore. Everything looks fuzzy now, a lot brighter and prettier, until the bright lights covers you up and I can't see you anymore.

Dying feels nice.

"Hey there." Says a soft voice in the bright light.

I look over my shoulder and look at the woman behind me dressed in white. "Mom?"

The woman smiles.