Previously in Mandabeater Instalment 2: The walls of Peace…….
"AHH!! Why ME!! I thought I left you forever when I abandoned you in the city and left for university!! AHH!!!" she scrambled to get away.
"Who are they Chelle?" Mandabeater asked, "We can only help if we know what they are!"
Chelle was so frustrated that she could have burst.
"They are…" she gritted her teeth and slashed out with her pen. (Get it? The pen is mightier than the sword? Huh. Huh?) "My brothers!! AHH!!!"
"AHH!!" There was a collective scream from Jezebel and Chelle and Mandy as the animal boys began to go nuts.
Annoyance meters exploded, long buried eye twitches began again, and the girls are quickly losing their cool!
What's to happen!?!"Your brothers? I didn't recognize them!" Dear, dear Lyssa exclaimed as she shooed them out, keeping them at bay with threats.
"Yeah, they've become much more connected to their animal roots." Chelle grimaced before slumping over, head between her knees, to hyperventilate.
"Ok, ok. They are gone, and the walls are finished! We can move into phase 2!" Mandy was giggling in glee as hiccups came from newyique Chelle's corner.
"Well then-hicGASP- order on Mandy! –hicGASP-"
"EEEE! Implement phase 2: wall placement!"
Dear, dear Lyssa passed the order on through her entrance and the hum of heavy duty, government issued and reposed helicopters could be heard.
"Um, are you sure it's safe to let animal boys be driving those?" Jezebel asked, being stroked by her horrendously deformed ex-grandfather.
"Of course! They're completely reliable!" Dear, dear Lyssa's chest puffed out protectively.
"Not reliable enough to stay lost hicGASP!- oh ow!"
In a few hours of awkward silences, horrible, terrorized screams and at least 2 tapings of G Dubya's mouth to try to dam the imbecilic babble dribbling from his vocal box, word finally came that the walls were in place.
'At last! Whooee! World Peace: step 1 complete!" The girls all jumped gleefully around until dear, dear Lyssa gave them the next report.
"Um-uh- Mandabeater, it seems that the United States is quickly running out of water and salmon. It seems they have been smuggling both resources out of Canadian areas for years!"
All of the girls turned to studious jezebel watching her incredibly shifty eyes.
"Manifest Destiny!" squawked G Dubya.
"AHHEEE!!!' Chelle leapt towards the old man intent of poking him ruthlessly with her fork that she had seen and plucked out of the rubble of dear, dear Lyssa's entrance.
"Chelle! Noooo!" All four girls stared shocked as the fork came ever closer to G Dubya's……NOSE!!
"-hicGASP! Oh, ow! DAMMIT!" she landed on her back, millimetres away from her target. "Success…was so close!" she moaned. "Mandy, my riot-creating masterpiece…." She paused to breathe "…completed…take it and use it well…" she whispered her last words as she slumped against the rubble and……….
"She fell asleep?! Really, who does that?" Dear, dear Lyssa and studious Jezebel gawked at their fallen comrade.
"…who can hear us on…radio. Do not sabotage your own oil reserves….they're the source of your economic prosperity…" G Dubya was mumbling.
"Is that the declaration of war on Iraq?" nutty Steph said.
"Yeppers! They programmed his speeches into him like a tele-prompter. Isn't that neat?!" studious Jezebel was grinning widely.
The other 3 stared at her, jaws agape.
"Well we need to address our next problem of world peace! Water distribution!" Mandy exclaimed.
"I have one word for you all: Antarctica!" nutty Steph danced around in glee at her idea.
"Steph you are such a genius!" the new leader and Steph danced around in happy little circles.
"We leave at once!" Dear, dear Lyssa cried. "To the repossessed government jets!" she nudged Chelle with her naked foot and Chelle jumped up screaming bloody murder at the disgusting-ness of naked feet, but completely ready to go.
"Please don't let the boy beasts drive!" Jezebel exclaimed.
Steph's secret escape plan to the jungle biodome was put into action, although not used as escape.
Eventually, many half sung camp songs bitter fights, and more insane babbling and taping mouths shut later, the group arrived safely though a bit rattled (the boy beasts had the wheel) in… duh duh duh… Antarctica!!
Piling into the biodome, the group was treated to a huge surprise. There, standing in the middle of the artificial jungle was….. their long lost friend Suzie!
"Yay!! You've been found!" Mandy cried in delight.
"I was never lost! I have become sole proprietor of the continent of Antarctica! And your jungletropolis was the perfect base."
"You can't own it! It's commons! Common land." Was the angry reply.
"Well don't you wonder why all the scientists never find anything? I stop them, or let them by with a small HUGE tariff." She laughed evilly for a moment then brightened right up.
"I'm just joking! Really! I'm not going to lie to you, it was really fun! So let's go girls!"
The Shania Twain song floated to everyone's ears. The group looked around confusedly.
"Oops. Well I appear to have forgotten to shut off my CD player….god bless America." G Dubya said.
Everyone stared at the old man until he began once again to mumble incoherently to himself.
"So you're going to help with the water crisis?"
"Well, I'm not going to lie to you, there wouldn't have been a crisis if you hadn't put walls around everything!"
"Hey, it was a good idea!"
"Well I'm going to help you duh! I am the Antarctican queen! (get it? Huh? Antarctican like Amazonian? Huh? Huh?)
"So we're off! Come along grandpa…."
And off the troupe went to claim Antarctica and chip off some ice burgs to water the world.
Much penguin chasing later, and more of trying to protect G Dubya from a horrible Chelle who kept trying to push him into fissures, the group came to an ice burg, suitable to be chipped.
"We chip here!" The boy animals started to frantically chip and put the ice into carrying cases at dear, dear Lyssa's command.
"Oh yay! This is so exciting!" Mandy was bouncing in her parka with excitement.
Eventually enough was chipped and was sent off ahead in a few helicopters, then phase 3 was put into action: claiming Antarctica.
Animal boy troops were dropped and Mandy went into biker pacifistic terrorist mode, safety goggles and all.
Just as Mandabeater was preparing to plant her flag up from the snow popped military troops!!
"AHH!! We're surrounded!" Jezebel screamed, suddenly G Dubya and jezebel weren't there anymore. We can only assume that they had been teleported back to America.
The girls all stared in shock at the troops surrounding them, and Mandy's electric blue parka glinted in the sunlight.
The leader stepped up saying, "This is our land! The Chinese are desperate for water, you may not claim this!" he said, holding his own flag in his hand.
Mandy jumped out of her reverie. "No! This is for world peace! China will get all the water it needs! I am claiming this for Mandy-try." And with that she planted the flag in the Antarctic soil to the shock of the Chinese troops.
Antarctica was now officially the property of Mandy-try.
The Chinese squealed in anger and refused to accept the obvious fact.
"We have traveled for years to get here! We tunneled through the earth to get to Canada, but instead of there, we find ourselves here, on the only continent that we can claim and not over run and steal water from! I claim this land for CHINA!" he roared and planted his flag right beside Sweet Little Mandabeater's.
Mandy's eyes flared red, and her anger made her shake. "World Peace, and equality is above you! I am doing this for the greater good! You will not disobey me!" her voice took on a demonic tone as she ordered dear, dear, Lyssa to send her troops forward, her pacifistic terrorists taking up the rear.
The war for the commons had begun…
World War, not World peace is what seems to have been achieved.
Stew happily in your juices until our next, and final instalment…Mandabeater Instalment 4: The Finale