I look across the room, and your eyes meet mine. Tonight, your eyes shine with an emotion that I never would have thought could ever come from you: sympathy, and perhaps even love. You have told me that you loved me more times than I can recall, but I never thought that you were capable of showing it. For once, your gaze isn't laced with anger. It almost makes me want to smile. Note the key word: "almost".
Most people consider me to be a generally good and forgiving person. Forgiving, in this case, is so hard though. You took me by surprise last night. As I walked toward my apartment, never would I have expected to feel to arms encircle my waist. For a moment, I panicked, but all the terror was numbed when a strange smelling cloth was clamped over my mouth and nose. I suppose I should learn to stay out of unlighted areas at night. When I woke up in this secluded little house, the effect of the chloroform having worn off, all the terror returned anew. You tried to comfort me and explain, but I ran from you and shut myself away. For a moment you made an attempt to coax me out but eventually you just quit, leaving me in the company of my own thoughts. Finally, the need to relief myself was able to drive me out. Now that brings us here.
"I'm sorry," you mutter turning your back to me. This is so strange for me. I've never seen you like this. I've never seen you seem so… so human.
"About what?" I ask, instinctively inching just a little closer to you.
Rays of silver moonlight flood through the window and fall across my face as you turn around, ever so slightly.
"God, you are so beautiful," you sigh, your eyes lighting up for a moment before they return to their usual melancholy state. "Oh God, I'm so sorry." This all seems so surreal, like a dream. Perhaps it is just a dream. Perhaps I'll wake up soon. "I was so selfish, taking you for myself, because I thought that you would finally take note to me. And yet I failed to think about you. I failed to think about the person who it was all for!" Again, my human instincts drive me closer to you.
"I love you," you mutter. "At least, I would like to think that it's love." Suddenly, you walk out of the room. I walk over to the window and look out. There is nothing but grass, as far as the eye can see. For a moment I think about trying to escape somehow, but opt to stay. I know that the chances of you ever hurting me are very slim. My chances are surviving are less out there than here.
You reenter the room with a mass of heavy navy fabric in your hands. As you slip it over my shoulders, I recognize the familiar, comforting warmth of my coat.
"Are we going out?" I ask.
"I'm taking you back to your apartment," you reply indifferently. If I thought that everything was surreal before, I was gravely mistaken. The thought of freedom is unfathomable now, when you offer it to me. Even as you help me into the back of your van, I feel as if in a sort of drugged sleep. My mind is blank. You climb up into the front seat and start driving.
Finally, the van screeches to a halt. You come around to the back to retrieve me. You look as if you want to kiss me, but you remain stone cold as you walk me up to the front of the building.
"I will always love you," you whisper. I don't know what expression that you see written on my face, but it alarms you. "But you will never, ever have to see me again. I will make sure of that." I look up into your eyes. You are crying. Moved by pity, I place a chaste kiss on your cheek and disappear into the apartment building.
I burst through the door to my apartment. All is just as warm and welcoming as I left it about twenty-four hours ago. Walking over to the window, I see you still standing in the same exact spot, looking up at my window. Upon seeing my face through the glass pane, you immediately hop into your van and drive away.
May you find peace and happiness, and may you be quick to forget me. I doubt that the latter part of my wish will happen, but I wish it anyways. I wish that I could love you, just as you love me, or think that you love me, but I cannot. Good luck.
A/N: So, what do you think? Please R&R!