Again, I apologize about Treacherous Beauty. I plan to take it up again as soon as possible. But for now, here is a piece I wrote for English. The chit that was grading it said that the vocab was too confusing.


The Aggravation of Average Adults

(Insert onamonapia) With many years of close observation and experience under my belt, I feel equipt to write such an essay as this, which analyzes and instructs according to our close-minded society. Combined with analytical thinking, my theories and instructions will prove quite valid. So, I shall procede to give my reader information on precisely the subject in the title: getting on the nerves of your average, American adult, how to do it and what may cause it.

The first subject to examine is the nature of the average adult, namely to list what is most important to them. One of these priorities is order. Adults are merely children that have matured enough to lead their own lives; lives are lead by following directions and schedules. So, most adults who lead normaly lives appreciate the role the tidiness and sequence play in daily existence. Order has kept their life from collapsing, order has led or is leading them to success. In a life with work hours nad deadlines, chaos is hardly welcome, brought by others or naturally.

After the priority of daily order, respect is another saught after quality. Since it does nothing else helpful, most adults use their age to command respect from those younger than they. In the mind of modern society, age equals knowledge, and knolwedge equals to experience which in turn is equal to wisdom that the younger portion of society does not possess. Therefor, older people should be respected. Pig-headedness can come from taking this theory for granted; some adults give the impression that they think all children (or anyone younger by seven years or so) are idiots. This thought usually comes from an adult latching onto the AW theory (age wisdom) and then seeing it in every figure of youth they come across; without seeing more than one side of youth, the idea begins to germinate. This becomes a commonly overused attack against kids; it takes away any other possilbe attacks and nominates itself as the only thing that an adult has over a child. Dignity becomes the main focus, the top priority. If a child or anyone else downsizes the ego or authority of an adult, it terribly wounds or angers them.

Now that the nature of an adult has been elucidated, it shall be much easier to investigate the adult-child relationship and why the two may or may not interact peacefully. In a relationship where the child is interacting with the parent, the discorse is generally friendly and loving (unless there are problems within the family unit). In this instance the adult will command respect and the child will usually comply because respect for the parent is a habit learned very early on to the point that it becomes an instinct among humans.

On a different level, the interaction between a child and an adult that is not a parent--- a school teacher, say--- can have varying results according to the child's behavior and the adult's mindset. Since the child does not feel an emotional connection to the teacher, it will be more inclined to act of its own will rather than the will of the teacher. Now, the teacher is faced with the task of handling classrooms of these annoying beings for several hours every weekday. They are given the responsibility of making the students work and respect the teacher's wishes, something that the children might not be obliged to do. Like many mammals, humans feel more comfortable and cocky in numbers; in a classroom, this can be the cause of off-task behavior. Because of this (like many mammals) humans are difficult to rally and keep control of in large groups. The adult in charge knows that when one person is out of control, the others will probably follow suit; thus, the adult uses the AW and AA (age authority) theories to maintain dominance. This is why the adult is aggravated when a child or group of children refuse to respect them.

After years of observation, it is my belief that children, especially those in the age range of 11 to 16, take pleasure in provoking agitation in adults. They deem this as amusing because the adult has problems that they, the child, is not faced with and has no direct effect on them. The disruptive also usually has the alterior motive of gaining attention. In today's society, downsizing the authority and power of adults gains much attention from peers and authority figures. There may be a slight method to this madness or the acts of disrespect are done at random but they all have similar themes. If you wish to aggravate an adult in your life with a structured battle strategy, consider the following orders:

Firstly, you shall discern what sort of behavior might cause the adult to be most irritated. You may do this by watching others annoy the adult first. Note which acts gain the most reaction; also note the change in reaction over time, whether the feeling of agitation fades into weariness or errupts into rage. With this information, set yourself a mental boundary, a line that you are not to cross. It is important to have this because overstepping this boundary could put you in harm's way.

After this information has been gathered, the next deed to be performed is to experiment. When you next see this unfortunate adult, utilize your newfound knowledge. Put it to use in the best way that you know how. The best tactics of disrespect are ostentatious and egocentric; this denotes backtalking, ignoring instructions, and being loud and rude in general. Do not overdue yourself on this first little excurtion.

The next feat (which is also the last of this petty play) is to mentally review the data you have gathered from your experiment. Fool around, think up some different approaches. The purpose of your experiment is to a) get you acquainted with the art of pestering, b) collect data on the adult, and c) ensure that, in the future, the adult will be more easily provoked by this behavior coming from you. So, when you next decide to have fun toying with the adult's stress-tolerance, remember that blatant disregard is the prime key. You now have means by which to amuse yourself. Hurrah for you.

This concludes my essay. I hope that I have given you valuable or at least somewhat interesting facts and theories on the adult-child relationship. The information that I have presented here may do several things for you. It may a) give you a better understanding of why some adults are such a$#holes, b) tell you how to irritate an adult you know, or c) show you how not to get on an adult's nerves. Whatever you do, take this paper and put it to use.

A/N: I have no prejudice against adults; I myself am well on my way to becoming one. The main inspiration for this essay was writing something out of the ordinary. Also forgive any grammatical or spelling errors; I do not have spell-check.