The Dance

Curiosity

You'll be the new kid at school, and he'll be the most popular guy there. You'll be the shy one and he'll be the class clown. You'll be the one who can't find her way to class and he'll be the one who takes pity on you and tells you that you're on the wrong floor entirely and directs you to the next floor upwards. You'll blush and thank him and he'll say it's no problem at all. Ignore the butterflies- they really do mean nothing. You'll ask him his name, and he'll say it's Calvin. He'll ask you yours, and you'll tell him it's Daisy. He'll smile and say, "It's nice to meet you, Daisy." And then you'll be step-stepping all the way to class in a very day dreamy state- still Daisy- but you'll never, ever be the same.

The Silver Lining

It'll be when you least expect it. You'll have had a rotten day, having gotten a D on a test in your best subject (Spanish) and your best friend isn't speaking to your other best friend for some reason that you don't understand, but you just want them to stop. And at the end of the day, you cannot even manage to make your locker open for you, and so you'll throw a fit and fling a stream of colorful language at it as you start to cry (having reached your breaking point), even though that will accomplish nothing.

Then you'll hear footsteps…

Step… step…

And then you'll hear a voice from behind you. "Is this a bad time?"

You'll turn around and immediately calm down. "I'm sorry," you'll say as you see that he's a little afraid to approach you, and you smile. "I've just had a bad day…" You'll feel your face heating up, but don't worry. He's liked you from day one.

He'll start to relax and he shrugs. "Ah. One of those days." You'll begin to talk, and then… one thing leads to another, and you've somehow found yourself with a date the next night.

The Most Beautiful Thing

Step. Step. There, just like you learned in all your dreams and fantasies. Just like in all the fairy tales that your mother used to tell you. You're not just Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. All the other princesses could only hope to wish they were you. And now, nobody can stand in the way between you and him, not even a spell or a wicked stepmother.

He loves you, you know, and don't you ever doubt it for a second. He thinks you're beautiful and that there's nobody like you on earth. Don't be afraid to tell him that you love him, too. Don't be afraid of the dance. It's the most beautiful thing on earth.

Love Conquers All

He'll say to you that everything will be OK. Believe him, because it will. No matter how much you want to cry, count on the fact that you can't get a rainbow without a bit of rain. He'll say he'll be there when you need him, and no matter how much you say you don't need him… no matter how stubborn and prideful you are… he'll be waiting for your call, and he'll keep his car keys on hand.

Because that's what true love is.

And there will be a time when he forgets himself that everything will be OK, and you will have to remind him. And it will be your turn to tell him that you'll be there, and you will wait by the phone and keep your own car keys on hand, just in case.

Not because you have to.

Because you want to- because that's what true love is.

The Snag in Happily Ever After

No one ever said that being in love would be easy- because it never has been, and it never will be. But the difference between everyday love and true love is that true love overcomes all obstacles, which is what you're facing now.

You'll make some sort of remark that he won't particularly like. Then he'll make some comment that you'll misinterpret. Before you know it, you haven't spoken to each other for over twenty-four hours.

You'll be angry with him, because as we all know, boys are the stupidest creatures to ever walk the earth. But don't forget, girls can make some pretty awful decisions themselves, especially when they're in the frame of mind that you're in.

After you're done being angry, you'll be sad because you'll realize that he's angry with you, too. You'll cry because you love him and you don't want to lose him over a silly fight. Don't worry; you won't. He loves you, too, and he doesn't want to lose you, either.

He'll come back, and you'll make up. You'll get your happily ever after. This won't be the last time this sort of thing happens... but there will be a happily ever after.

A Promise

He'll do it in a very subtle way, because he knows you don't like to get paranoid. Of course, he'll confess to you later that he was thinking about making you paranoid and suspicious, and you will have to hit him.

He'll do it while you're watching a movie at your apartment- your favorite. First he'll pull the old 'stretch-out-while-yawning' trick so he can put his arm around you, and this will make you smile. And then he'll whisper in your ear, "Hey Daisy? Can I ask you something?"

Being a smart aleck, you'll say back, "Didn't leave me much of a choice there, did you, Cal?" And you will both smile.

He'll grin and grab something from behind a pillow on the couch and ask, "OK, can I ask you another question?" He'll look at you with those big black eyes that won your heart.

You'll smile and your heart will melt all over again, but that's OK. "Fine."

And then he'll show you a ring, and he will say, "Marry me?"

'Till Death Do You Part

Step. Step. Don't worry. Step. Step. He loves you so much. Step. Step. You've gotten this far. Step. Step. A couple more steps won't hurt you at all. Step. Step. Will it?

He takes your hand and smiles at you and you can see that he is just as scared and nervous as you are. Maybe he's even thinking of backing out.

Except he couldn't. He loves you too much.

The minister is speaking, but your mind is racing with too many thoughts of worry and anxiety over what's to come. Was this a mistake? Did you rush into it too fast?

"Daisy Ellen Cartwright, do you take Calvin Seamus McPherson to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

You have no time to think about it. You can only trust in your heart that you love him, and that he loves you.

"I do."

The minister speaks some more, and suddenly… you're married. And all your doubts are gone forever, and you wonder why you were so worried to begin with.

Little People

You'll have a bet with him on your firstborn- Julian. He thinks that Jules is going to be a football star, and you think that he's going to be a college professor. However, six-year-old Jules thinks the both of you are weird and is preoccupied with chasing his shadow and terrorizing the neighbor girl, Elise, with his pet snake, Fred, which he got for Christmas.

You and Calvin also have a bet that Jules and Elise will get married someday. She's only a year younger.

You'll see Calvin teaching Jules how to play football and you'll smile and watch them for a minute before you call them into dinner. And then later on, you'll see him watching you read to your little boy the tale of Robin Hood, which he loves. And he'll say to you that it's his birthday soon, and you'll say you know, and you'll ask him what he wants.

He wants a little brother.

Calvin will smile, and you'll tell Jules that you'll see about that.

Onward

You'll never forget the day you heard Jules explaining to his little sister Ollie that "Dad has to go away for a while and that's why we're makin' him these pictures so he won't forget us! Now keep colorin'!"

It's a little bittersweet.

It's the war that will very quickly test both your faith and your courage. It will seem like there are a lot of men that are going, and nobody's exactly sure why anymore.

Calvin doesn't want to leave Jules or Ollie, and he especially doesn't want to leave you. The day that he does go, he gives you something that you have not seen in a very long time- his class ring.

"Keep it safe for me, would you?" he says with a sad sort of smile.

And you say you will.

Jules and Ollie say goodbye and give him tons upon tons of pictures, and he packs away every last one. "That will be a welcome sight," he tells them, ruffling their hair and kissing them goodbye. Little Ollie hugs him around his leg, trying to keep him there while you and Jules pull her off.

But you wish so very much that it would have worked.

Strength

In later years, Jules and Ollie will say you were strong- but in reality, it was them who made you get up in the morning and get through the day. That, and the hope that he was alive somewhere right now and thinking of you and the two little ones who needed you so very much.

You'll remember the days when you were just dating- through junior and senior year in high school, through college… and then you'll see Jules sitting on the porch watching out for his dad.

You'll get letters from him every week. You'll read them to your son and your daughter, who, after hearing what their dad has written, will run off to go write their own letters to him. And so will you, to answer his questions, which are always the same. "How are the kids?" "The weather?" "Who won the last game?" "How are you?"

And then you'll get a different letter one day. And Jules and Ollie will ask you why you're crying, even though you won't even realize you are…

But don't worry. He'll come home safe and sound after another month or so. He'll be in a wheelchair with a broken leg and a broken arm, and he won't be the same Calvin you've always known. He'll be quiet and more serious, but he will still love you- all of you. Jules and Ollie will be ecstatic to see him again, and he'll just give you that smile. The same one that gave you hope and made you remember that everything will be OK.

Paint the Town Red

You'll think that Ollie's boyfriend Aaron is sweet. Calvin will think he's Satan reincarnated. Ollie had previously begged and pleaded Calvin not to terrorize her prom date, but nonetheless, Calvin and Aaron will have a little talk "out back".

Ollie cries to you, "Mom! Please stop him!"

However, you are far too amused to do so.

When your husband and Ollie's date return, Aaron is pale and Calvin looks a bit pleased with himself. "Well kids," he says, "off you go. Go paint the town red."

Ollie looks between Aaron and Calvin and she glares at her dad. "What did you do to him?!" she hisses.

Calvin will shrug. "Absolutely nothing, Olivia."

And you'll smirk, because you know that angelic look far too well.

Grey

You'll watch them grow up. And just like you thought, Jules and Elise get married- when Jules is twenty-one, and she's twenty. You and Calvin get older, and your hair begins to grey, and you'll ask him if he still loves you. He replies without missing a beat that he loves you more than life. You smirk and whack him gently and you'll say, "I love you too, you old codger." He'll laugh and say he still thinks you're the most beautiful girl in town.

You'll tell him that he needs new glasses, but secretly, you appreciate the compliment.

Secretly, he knows you do.

Step. Step.

They'll say it's best for him. Bollocks, you'll say. 'Till death do we part, you'll say. You'll fight and you'll fight. And mostly, you'll cry. But in the end…

He won't understand what's happening anymore. He's too far gone. He barely even remembers you or the children anymore, or your grandchildren. They want to put him in the nursing home. Jules says they'll take good care of him there- Jules, who waited every day on the porch for three weeks waiting for his dad to come home! Jules, who wants to shut away the love of your life in a great prison from which he will never come out.

You'll cry for days. You won't eat, won't sleep until fatigue forces you to. You visit him everyday and hold his hand, and he'll say, "Hello, Angel." But he won't remember who you are, really. He calls you Angel because he thinks you are one.

The nurses say he's slipping- they don't hide it from you. And you can tell. He's barely eating anymore, and when you see him sleep, he'll shout things like, "GET DOWN, TENILLE!" or "SARGE! ANDERSON'S INJURED!"

And you'll cry to see him like this, and you'll wish with all your heart that there were some way to make it right.

He keeps slipping, and you yell and fight and argue with Jules for hours until he finally breaks down and says that he'll bring his dad back home.

It doesn't take long after that- a few weeks. But it's a few happy weeks, and he remembers more, like your anniversary and your children and when you were younger.

It'll be shortly before Thanksgiving when it happens. You'll wake up in the middle of the night when you hear a big crash and you'll see him lying there… just lying there. He won't be trying to get up anymore. He'll be singing instead. He'll be singing, "Let me call you Sweetheart… I'm in love with you… Let me hear you whisper… That you love me too…"

And you'll go to his side and try to help him up and you'll tell him that you're going to call an ambulance, but he'll tell you no. Please just listen, as hard as it will be. He'll tell you that it's his time and you have to let him go. Please let him.

You'll cry. And you'll smile. And you'll say OK.

He'll want you to tell everybody that he loves them. And then he'll look at you and smile the smile that won your heart and he'll say he loves you, too. Don't you doubt it for a second. And don't you be afraid to tell him that you love him too.

You won't be.

This is the dance.

Don't be afraid of it.

It's the most beautiful thing on earth.

You hold his hand until he turns cold. You hold his hand until you realize you're crying. Until the room turns dark. Until you're not strong enough to hold on anymore.

And you'll let go, and begin to walk away.

Step. Step.

Life is…

(So easily, we break
So easily, we fall
And yet, we still take
So much for granted)

Life is…

(So easily, we cry
So easily, we bleed
And in spite of how easily we die
We don't do anything)

Life is…

(So easily, we run
So easily, we shatter
But what are we running from?
What on earth's the matter?)

Fragile

Fini.