No A/N. Just an update. Enjoy.
"What are we seeing?"
After what seemed an eternity, I found my voice, unparalyzed my tongue and reminded myself that despite his good acting and theatrics, Joshua is still giving me charity disguised in a subtle gift box so changing clothes to impress him would only make another ass out of myself.
Emily Leona Coleman, the walking ass. Has a nice ring to it don't you think?
He kept silent after my blunt professing of unrequited, psychotic love and I proceeded to pick myself shakily off the ground, lock my house with my card and follow him into his car again. I don't know anything about cars but his car is very pretty. Wow, I've just unlocked a completely new level of inanity, I mean how vivid, detailed or explanatory is the word 'pretty' to try to describe an unambiguous car.
"Do you know anything playing that you really want to see?" I swallowed and my heart sunk past rock bottom.
Charity. He is really outdoing this whole façade and keeping the whole appearance of 'caring' by even remembering to ask me for any preferences I want to see in a flick. The signs are so obvious it is pointless to list them. Emily speculated. Maybe he's Catholic and his priest threatened him to clean up his act or risk a lifetime with Hitler 'down there'.
"I really dislike horror, it scares me,"
Being the wimp I am, I was still honest. If admitting my cowardice of professional sound, graphic and special effects is going to save me from shrieking manically in the middle of watching a killer raise a chainsaw and a close-up of the face on big screen, then I'm glad I spoke up.
"I had a feeling you might. Can you be more specific than that? Do you like anything better than other genres?" My feet are twitching nervously and this time, my ADHD had nothing to do with it. This is so foreign to me. Holding a conversation. Being asked for my opinion. Going to a move theatre. I've never had gone with anyone before, I avoided public places because I had no one to go with! I ordered my movies off my movie channels and bought clothes online then had them delivered to my doorstep. I was a true recluse and hermit. I'd embraced my misanthropy and evolved well with it. Now Joshua's charity is making me had a mental nervous breakdown.
"You decide, I'm bad at making decisions and this is the first time going to a movie with someone so you decide," my hands spazzed in my lap and my mouth leaked more than I planned but I was too nervous thinking about what would happen if someone at school had recognized me with Joshua. My imagination is atrocious and left me grovelling for the ground to open up and swallow me once Joshua stopped and parked the pretty car.
"I left my wallet at home, I forgot to bring some money, is it okay if I give it to you afterwards?" I asked him softly, staring dead ahead out onto another car's red taillights,
"You don't had to pay, I'm willing to pay for both of us," he chided coldly, I saw in the glass reflection he had flickered his gaze upon me a few times as I continued to stare at the red taillights in front of me as if my life depended on it.
"But… Only people who go on dates pay, mostly," I nibbled my lip, tears welling up again, hating his charity yet so grateful at the same time,
"Then think of this as a date. Will you accept this as your first date, do you want to go with me? We can grab dinner afterwards too and just chill afterwards," I can tell Joshua is not a very huge humanitarian while I was a special case of loser since I'm the first one to evoke his aid but just how damn far is he going to take this charity?
His ex-girlfriend is a model on Elle-girl and Seventeen! I can't even dream of rivalling against that with my stumpy legs, rail thin body, lack of feminine assets and revolting face. I can see the looks on everyone's faces already when they hear about Joshua Rodriguez's pity date with me and they'll never let me forget it even if I'm eighty, wrinkly and starting to bald.
"You still think I'm humouring you out of the pureness of my heart aren't you? Look, I'm not what most people would call a nice guy, even I know that and I normally just can't be fucked whether someone's going to commit suicide in front of my bedroom window because of something my great-great-great cousin did so charity, sympathy and pity fucks aren't something I give. Not that I'm going to rape you or anything, okay, let me try that again. Leona, will you go on a date with me? No one's holding a gun to my head and saying I had to do this or get my balls blasted off, it's your choice, you can say no and I promise I won't throw myself off the nearest roof and blame you,"
HE ASKED ME OUT, HE ASKED ME OUT, HE ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE is all that I could think about for a second but then I caught myself.
He is tricky and manipulative, I'd give him that but he's probably probed by inner guilt that still drives his charity. Like I said, I was lower than dirt and he is a demigod. I don't judge him just because of that, but considering him asking me on a date seriously is just something I refused to walk into.
Silence descended upon us as Joshua parked the car and then got out and held open my door. He walked beside my slouching self, regal and proud, his footsteps frightening and shadow overwhelming my little speck of darkness as we approached the cinema doors.
"Did you know if the world is tilted one degree more either way, the planet would not be habitable? The area around the equator would be too hot and the poles would be too cold," he spoke up suddenly, as if purposely distracting my darting eyes from the other movie goers and my stomach twisted complicated knots as I muttered dazedly,
"Uh huh…" I found myself trying to hide behind his tall form, and distancing myself from him.
"Walk beside me Leona, not after me," he instructed without emotion and I tried to comprehend but my body had started shaking violently and my knees threatened to gave out below.
Someone is looking at me. Panic. Run. Flee! The natural feeling duck and hide is so strong, I felt physically sick and headachy. I recognized the girl staring at me, sneering now. She is Vieira, with an unpronounceable last name, she is one of the girls who had started calling me anorexic and making up rumours about me that led me to experience a nightmare junior high.
The sight of her made me blanch and Joshua must've noticed my sudden stillness or maybe it is the look on my face that gave it away because suddenly, he placed an arm around my shoulder and guided me laboriously to the long queues, stating sourly,
As if it is that simple. As if I had not spent countless nights crying myself to sleep in the past decade or more because of other people's insensitive words. Some people are born with the ability to not let anything get to them. I was not. Everything got to me. I was hypersensitive and a lump of disgusting tofu.
"She's going to kill me," I scream-whispered and felt the dreaded familiar trepidation blanket me.
"She's not going to do anything to you, much less touch you," the hand on my arm is tightening reassuringly but this is just a one-night charity case display. He is Joshua Rodriguez, he could never be touched. I on the other hand, remained Emily Leona Coleman. I was easily broken. The slightest prick or push and I would crumble.
And he broke me, confirming it with a single glance of pity in his eyes.
I have a headache, it's killing me. Let me know if you spot any errors. I want to know! :)