Prologue

My First Friend

I never thought much about high school until the summer before I started my freshmen year. Between the teen dramas on TV and the young adult books I read, high school sounded like it would fun and scary. You never knew what was going to happen next, who be dating who, cheerleaders getting all the good looking guys. People would try to offer you drugs or alcohol and guys would want to have sex with you. Then high school started and it was nothing like what was picture on TV or at least for me. I started high school as the new girl that no one knew. It was my first year in the school district, starting my first day of school off with everyone else's first day of school. I didn't stick out.

I moved to Washington in the summer before high school. The friends I grew up with from elementary school to middle, the ones I grew close and attach to, I had to say farewell before we could take the big step in becoming adults. I couldn't help but wonder if I stayed with them if my life would have been a little more like what I saw. Filled with parties and love or would it be like it was, dull and boring. Maybe I wouldn't have the sinking feeling that I would never find someone I would like, no one would like me, I would be alone for the rest of my life. I shudder at the thought.

Starting high school with no one you knew, in a new school, new city, and state, was hard. I wasn't the type of person who made friends with ease. I tended to be reserve around the people I didn't know, listening to them instead of joining in. Instead of going out and making friends during the summer I moved, I consume myself in books that transported me into a whole new world where I didn't exist. When it wasn't raining I would take a walk to the local park and draw the scenery or old memories.

When school started I didn't have the courage to say hi and start a conversation with the people around me. Instead, I sat at my desk ad listen to them as I sketch something on paper. I found the conversations around me interesting and learned a little about each person that sat near me. At times I try to imagine how my life would be I was one of them. How much more social it would be. When no on spoke a word I listen to my classmates shift in their chairs trying to find a comfortable position. I listen to pens and pencils scribble across the paper as people took notes, tests, or a quiz. I even listen for the silence. But even then I heard the breathing of myself, the people around me. In and out. Inhale and exhale. A natural process that we all did, one of the few things everyone had in common.

After school, I would go straight home and go to my room. I would shuffle through my bookcase looking for a good book to read or sit at the kitchen counter and do homework or study. And like always, I would converse with my family. I did my best to try to deceive myself that I wasn't lonely, unhappy, and depress. I try my best to keep up with a cheerful attitude that at times exhausted me. I repeated this until the day I made my first friend.

It happen a couple of months into my freshmen year. The day was like any other Western Washington day. I woke up to sound of rain softly hitting my window. Sometimes I couldn't bare the sound of the rain in the middle night and I would break down crying until I fell asleep again. But somehow, it changed from something I couldn't stand to something that comfort me. When I walked out the front door, I smiled at the evergreens that surrounded me. I looked to the east at the mountains with it's top cover by the clouds. It was beautiful and it was all thanks to the rain.

At school, the day passed by like normal until I started fourth period. My English teacher paired the class up in groups for a project. My partner was a girl name Lilly. She was pretty with beautiful wavy, wheat color hair that went down her back. Her eyes were a bright blue. She walked over to me smiling sweetly with a full pink lips and sparkling white teeth and took a seat next to me. From what I gather about her, she was a cheerful, talkative, and very friendly person. She stuck out her snow white hand to me and smile even bigger as I shook it, "Hi Caroline! I'm thrill to be partners with you. You look like a nice person. Let's work hard together!" She looked down at the sheet paper with our assignment. "For our project I think we should research Emily Dickson."

I looked down at the sheet, "Emily Dickson was a poet who wrote some depressing poems," a poet's name caught my attention, "If you want to research a depressing poet you might want to consider Edgar Allen Poe. He would be a good choice in that category. I don't think he wrote one 'happy' poem."

Lilly laughed. Her laughter sounded like little bells ringing, pleasant to the ears. "Wasn't Poe the one who married his cousin, but later she dies from sort of illness and lost a loved ones? He would be a little interesting, but I much rather do Emily Dickson and compare how her life affected her poetry. Poe wouldn't be as interesting to me."

I smiled at her. "Okay, that's sound good to me. I'll let the teacher know we've already decided."

That was the beginning of our friendship. With her friendship I was able to make more friends then I would of on my own. I no longer ate lunch alone, force myself be happy when I wasn't, and I was able to smile more then I had for a long time. In the two years the we knew each other I became very close to Lilly. She was the closet friend I ever had. It felt like I could talk to her about anything. I had more of a social life. Having movie nights with friends, going out and hanging out with each other, talking online with each other. I no longer felt lonely and I could almost forget about everything that wasn't going to well in my life.

Then came my junior year of high school and my life took a few turns. One that I didn't expect until later. One I didn't want to happen. One I try to avoid. One after another.


A/N: This is the last of my stories I need to rewrite. I might update this story weekly, since spring break starts next week and I can use that time to rewrite all the chapters or get a good head start. I'll try to get the next chapter up at the end of the week. Enjoy.