Why is it that the blackest black

is never black enough?

I long for black - true black.

So black I can't breath.

So black I can't scream.

So black I can't close my eyes

or even keep them open.

So black I want to claw my skin off.

So black it crushes me.

So black I can't remember.

I long for blackest black.

I long to forget.

But even the blackest black

is never enough.

I am not enough.