Pins and Scars

She wasn't thinking clearly

Like all the other times

Listening to .45 over and over again

Contemplating life or death

With the sharp pin in her hand

And the scars on her arm

Deciding weather to draw blood or not

And add to her collection of scars

She wad depressed

And wasn't good at self-healing

Cutting herself

Would just be another reminder of how she messed up

It would just remind her of all the pain she felt

About how many times she cried

How many sleepless nights

And about how many times she wanted to disappear

Taking that sharp silver pin

and stabbing it in her skin

Tearing open her flesh

And letting the blood course through

Her open wound

She felt as though

Eased the pain

The pain of failure

She loathed herself

And didn't care if her wounds got infected

She wanted to go extinct

Disappear out of this world

And become nothing

Because she was nothing

Just a fucked up loser

Who couldn't stand to look at herself in the mirror