FIGHT THE ORCS!!

(Setting: Weird world, just entered woods)

Brynusharrg: What the hell was that for?

Liz: I got bored.

Gimli: Wouldn't wanna see you when you're angry then.

Lesley: Damn straight! I've seen it.

Brynusharrg: Well I'll tell you now Sauron will kill you and take the ring thing

Liz: I'd like to see him try!

Brynusharrg: You will but first, I gotta find a monkey. You seen it anywhere??

Aragon: You mean the one on the hoverboard that's blowing smoke over Lesley?

Brynusharrg: That's the one!

Moogle: Hee hee! Now you die of lung cancer! Hee hee!

Brynusharrg: Moogle get you're arse over here!

Boromir:(Crashes through bushes and runs towards the smoking monkey) Evil monkey! Die monkey die!

Moogle: Thought I'd got rid of you!

Brynusharrg: Boy! We have company!

Boromir: I am sorry for this unexpected entrance but that monkey stole my bloody shield!

Moogle: It's true, it was bloody till I washed it.

Boromir: You've turned it into a hoverboard!

Moogle: It is true but I haven't introduced myself yet so can you wait a mo to kill me?

Boromir: Oh, am I bad.

Moogle: I am Moogle the Monkey. Son of Maagle the monkey. I am faithful servant to Brynusharrg.

Liz: Here we go again with the damn speeches.

Boromir: I am Boromir of Gondor. Son of Denethor II. I am here to get my shield back and kill the MONKEY!!

Legolas: Hair problem sorted. What did I miss?

Lesley: Just more people and Liz shooting Brynusharrg in the back. So basically not much.

Boromir: The elvish for Liz or Elizabeth is Erunyauve. Which one of you is Liz?

Liz:(Puts up hand) I am.

Boromir: You have the ring. Give it to me on command of Gondor.

Liz: Why the hell should I?

Boromir: Well I gave you the option to give it to me by will but now I shall use force!

Legolas:(Standing in front of Liz) You shall never harm her without killing me first!

Boromir: And who is this that speaks so bravely?

Lesley: That is Legolas Greenleaf the far most beautiful and skilful elf that ever lived.

Boromir: Than you shall die as well!

Brynusharrg: You shall never harm him without harming me!

Boromir: For fuck sake! Can't I just kill one of you?

Brynusharrg: Bring it on Boromir!

Boromir: I shall!

Moogle:(On hoverboard goes round back of Boromir and pushes him) How you like that pretty boy?

Brynusharrg:(Lunges sword into Boromir and pulls it back out-does this continuously)You gonna die now!

Boromir:(Still tries to fight) I'll die when I'm ready!

Brynusharrg: Bring it(quickly dodges out of way of Boromirs sword) You're gonna have to do better than that you know.

Moogle:(Comes up behind and hits him on head with a mallet) You look a bit HAMMERED!

Boromir: I shall still fight!

Brynusharrg:(Grabs bow and arrows off Legolas) Thanks sweetness!

Boromir: Leave your flirting for later!

Brynusharrg:(Shoots Boromir with first arrow) How you like that?

Boromir: Idiot you didn't kill me!

Lesley: You two quieten it down! I'm on the phone!

Boromir: And we are in a battle what you gonna do about it?!

Brynusharrg:(Shoots Boromir with second arrow) Damn it you're still alive!

Boromir:(Shouting at Legolas) Can you please show him how to shoot?

Legolas: Sure(goes over to Brynusharrg) Right pull back bow, put in arrow aim and shoot.

Brynusharrg:(Does as instructed) Yes got him right in the eye.

Boromir:(Falls to ground still breathing) Aragon I love you!

Will Legolas kiss Brynusharrg?

Will we find out why a monkey on a hovercraft is doing in the story?

Who knows we'll all find out next time in Fight the Orcs!