Eternally Forsaken

It's self-titled for a reason: because I'm always going to be… Eternally Forsaken.

They say she's merciless; she's egocentric; she cares naught but for herself; she lacks comprehension of how to truly love; but oh—if you only knew the precise truth.

She has exclusively loved; she has lost many; she has been repetitively disconsolate; she has shed enough crystallized tears to drown within its sea of saline fluid. She speaks with void happiness; laughs with hollow resonance; smiles with arctic affection; and deep, eternal scars mar her already too fragile heart and yet, no one perceives nor cares.

Some say she doesn't love; others say she can't. And I? I say she won't for she fears it, but against her obstinacy she loves nonetheless. She has lost faith, trust, and credence but yet, she leisurely salvages them by wholly loving another—someone who comprehends her vulnerability; one who calms her escalating fears; a man who could love her just as much as she can love in return and never any less.

This intriguing and compassionate man has shown her light within darkened sky; hope when all faith has gone astray; bliss when she was obscured by grief; color amongst black, white, and all the dim shades in between.

And she habitually speculates why he loves her—she is neither witty nor clever, neither confident nor secure; neither undemanding nor sovereign; and neither beautiful nor charismatic. But—when she is within his presence, she feels beautiful and intelligent and self-assured in every feasible way. She is perfection in all its splendor; the person she desires to be; everything she has ever sought but never had. He is her love's supremacy—holding it within the palm of his hand; the core of their hearts.

However, her once deepest friends are now her darkest foes. They often tell her she is a naïve fool; she is being weaved into intricate, elaborate lies. They say he is a sinister man intent on conveying nothing but malevolence; he is a man who cares for no one and holds no conscience.

But she does not believe for her faith is strong; her mind—lucid of abhorrence; her heart loving; and her soul forgiving. Her adamant yet kindhearted character allows for isolation because she is often discarded—one of her utmost fears. And thus, she deceives them to remain by his side as their prohibited love develops.

Regrettably, she has forgotten that deception holds consequences; when the truth has been revealed, she will be forsaken once more just as she so fears. Yes, she still holds his love as he holds hers; but those who were once her friends has derelict her. And perhaps—the man she legitimately alleged to be her first love has deserted her as well. For this one man who values her, she has lost those friends that have chosen to flee.

And now, with nothing but crucial reality—she realizes what she was previously, she will always be: eternally forsaken.