With every broken heartbeat
A gallon of me rushing toward the opening
Trying to make the veins match the inside
I've been a shell of myself for a month
Are you still hoping to see me again?
I'm more than willing to fake it
Until my head touches down on concrete

Just call me happy withing time limits
A quarter smile doesn't buy what it used to
Why the hell can you see right through me?
Come with me to where water can't reach land
Let me jump for a swim and see if I float
With ankle bracelets weighing me down

Playing with rope is a merciful past-time
Its very calming launching the knot
Over the limb of a sturdy old oak
The five step ladder placed under the knot
This is the best Christmas card I could create
The census this year will be a name shorter

I thought of something entertaining just now
The best and most poetic way to go
A grenade fastened to my face like a gag

Standing at the outside of the gate
The carnage, the wreckage, what's left
To my back right staring me down
Hoping me to fall of my own volition
So this is me?
Here I stand alone once again

The taste of the grenade reminds me of dirty pennies
The smell on my hands as I pull the pin
Will linger inside my skull forever
Which is ending soon
I've been building up the pressure just for this day
Time for a quick and painless release

For all those this action will harm
I'm sorry for the heartache you face now
You understand, I hope, my movements this month
This is just the culmination
This explosion says "I love you"