We'll Never Know
Author's Notes: LOL. This is seriously the most hilarious thing I have ever written. Read and I shall explain on the bottom.
I watch him every single day. He walks in the halls, a large smile embedded on his perfect face. His hair is short, curved around his cute little ears. It's gold, not too blonde and not too brown; a perfect hue. His eyes allure his innocent victims that he never knew he had, with their vivid indigo glow. His name is Danell, called Nell, Nelly, or Dan by his friends. I like to call him god.
He waved to me and I smiled, waving back. I wish I was half as beautiful as him. Sadly, I'm not. I'm shorter than him by at least 5 inches; my hair is wavy and comes down to my shoulders though I usually tie it back. And unlike his golden silky hair, I have plain dull brown hair that has no shine and definitely no real splendor as his. In fact, everything about me is dull. He has vivid indigo eyes and I just have my weird beige eyes. People look at me and say "Oh that's just Jed" but they look at him and say "Oh Damn, is that Danell? He is looking fine today!". Okay, so I'm not that ugly, but I'm ugly compared to Danell.
There's a few things that people don't know about Jed Lowen (that would be me). The first is that I'm very, very gay and no one knows it, for obvious reasons of course. The second is that I am practically in love with a guy who is very, very straight. I know that because I've been his friend for a long ass time and when I say I know Danell Harper, then I know Danell Harper. The man's had at least 20 girlfriends since freshman year! The third thing people don't know about me is that I have an unhealthy obsession with perfect teeth. Now Danell, he has the most perfect teeth I have ever seen. They're so…white…and SPARKLY!
"Are you still going to seven-eleven before track?" he asked me, flashing those wonderful teeth at me.
"Yeah…" I replied slowly. Danell and I are on the track team, among others. Well, the important others are Rueben and Jack. All four of us are "the runners", as we are monotonously called. Our meet is usually after school so that gives us a free 6th period to just relax and eat even though it isn't smart to eat before our track meet. Usually, Me, Danell, Rueben and Jack go to seven-eleven to hang out and have some slurpies.
Danell grinned ludicrously at me. He is so adorable. Hee-hee. "Cool. Rueben and Jack have to run 2 extra miles for being stupid yesterday, remember? So they have to go to 6th. That means you get the honor of my company for about an hour." He smirked. "Lucky you."
I raised an eyebrow. "Indeed." Thank God for stupidity. The sun shines brightly on me today.
"Okay, see you after lunch then, bye." He waved at me.
I watched him leave, sighing as I glanced at his retreating backside. Aside from perfect teeth Danell has a perfect butt. It's curved and round and looks wonderful in the semi tight Dickies he was wearing. He looks good in plain black pants. In fact, those pants are my favorite. The way they hug his perfect butt and the way he sags them just enough to show off the top of his black and blue plaid boxers is simply the best look for him. And I love how he matches his shoes with his maroon Tee-shirt. I think he looks good in those maroon and off-white Pumas even thought I think Pumas are very uncomfortable to run in. I know, I'm strange.
The tardy bell rang and I noticed I have been standing there for the past 3 minutes and now I was late for 3rd period.
"Mr. Lowen, you are late." My teacher pointed out as if I was some idiot who didn't know when class started.
"I believe I am aware of that." I muttered as I walked back to my seat in the back of the room. The only good thing about math is that I didn't have to pay attention because the idiot gave us printed out notes for us and that meant Daydream time.
"Dude Jed, McNillens is pissed today, he's not letting us listen to our music." The guy that sat next to me told me. Of course, I know his name, Randall. I also know he's dead sexy. If I didn't know Danell, I'd be calling Randall god. But, I know Danell.
That actually made me think a bit. Danell and Randall were practically on the same level of sexyness. Randall is as sexy as Danell if not sexier. And I've known Randall for the same time as I've known Danell. But, Danell is the only person I've actually dreamed about. There's something about Danell that lures me into his grasp.
At first I thought it was just the fact that he's hot. But as I grew to know him, that changed. Danell has the most perfect personality I've seen. He's not a fake, he's really honest and he actually cares about other people. He's the kind of person that would die for you if need be. He's also very funny. He could make a joke out of practically anything. He is such a dork at times and it makes me laugh. It's sort of cute, actually.
So, obviously, I like Danell more. I mean, he's the boy who has it all: the perfect teeth, the perfect ass and the perfect personality. Who could ask for more? But as I'm on this happy little fly, soaring above the clouds with no wings like superman, I hit a wall. Ouch, how the hell did that get there? Yeah, Danell is lacking one thing. Gayness. He's straight, so that doesn't work does it?
"Earth to Jeddy…"
I shook my head bringing me out of my thoughts and looked at Randall. "Huh?"
"Well, you've been spacing out for the past ten minutes." He whispered. "Are you okay?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I'm good." I yawned loudly.
Randall chuckled. "I think you should take a nap." He suggested.
"Good idea." I murmured as I laid my head down on the cool surface of the desk and thought about later today. In a few hours, I would be meeting Danell by his locker after lunch and we would go to seven-eleven and drink some slurpies. We'd hang out, just me and him, alone.
Too bad I had no idea that all of that was going to change, drastically.
After lunch, I met Danell by his locker. He was standing with his back against the hideous yellow lockers, his legs crossed. He looked comfortable with that big smile on his face. "Hey Jed. Do you mind if I go talk to Mrs. Azabaw before we go? It's her conference period." He explained.
I nodded. "That's okay with me."
"Okay. Thanks." He bent down to pick up his folders and subconsciously give me a view of his nice butt.
I smiled. "No problem." No problem at all, I thought as I curved my head to get a better view.
He got up and I quickly straightened myself. We began walking towards the very end of the school, talking about how he needed a recommendation because he needs to go to some sort of summer program.
"Aw, you're going away during summer vacation?" I asked. That bummed me out. How was I going to survive summer without him? How was I going to survive not seeing him half naked and wet? Usually, I'd show up at his house every single morning half dead of boredom and we'd go swimming with some other friends. Then we'd have some sandwiches and ice cream that some mom provided, and I'd innocently watch him lick away at that ice cream and make fun of him when some dropped on his shirt. The thought of lacking that this summer pained me. Well, one fact was that I wasn't going to survive and that hopefully it wasn't for the whole summer.
"It's only a month." He explained quickly. "Why? You gonna miss me?" he teased.
I sighed with relief. I could survive a month. "Yeah," I admitted. "Summer isn't fun without you."
He smiled. "Well I'm gonna miss you too."
I blinked. He better miss me!
We entered his science class. The old lady was sitting at her desk writing on some piece of paper. I hate Mrs. Azabaw. She is an evil witch. Thankfully, I switched out of her class and moved to the hot science teacher's class. I mean, who could miss a good view of Mr. Moreass's ass in exchange for some old lady? That was…suicide!
In no time, he was done getting her to sign his paper and we were out again.
"Ugh, I hate her." Danell muttered. "It took me three weeks and an essay to convince the woman to recommend me."
"Why didn't you just ask some other teacher to do it?" I asked.
He shrugged. "She's also a doctor so that helps."
"Hey do you—"
Three loud staccato bell rings filled out ears.
We both looked around. Stupid school and their stupid broken bells.
The intercom came on and a voice filled the school. "Students, this is Mr. Pretreson. Please remain calm. There is a man loose within the school walls. We have received a threat." The principal's voice was strangely calm.
I looked at Danell and gulped.
"Please remain calm and go through standard procedures…"
The announcement continued.
"Oh shit…" Danell whispered, his eyes widening.
Before I could reply to anything that was going on, he had pushed us both into the janitor's closet, which appeared to be right next to us, and closed the door.
I blinked. "What kind of reflex is that?" I asked.
"Some guy with a gun is standing right there." He whispered calmly.
My eyes widened. "W-what?" I didn't want to die. Hell no. I mean, I didn't get to live yet! I was supposed to grow up and have a lovely life with Danell who I will one day turn gay. And even if I didn't turn him gay, he'll still be my best friend forever and I didn't want that to change. I didn't want to die.
I didn't notice I was shaking until I felt Danell's hands rubbing my shoulders. I looked up at him and noticed a worried expression on his beautiful face.
"Don't go into shock on me." He whispered. "People die from shock."
"Wha?" I blinked at him.
"WHAR YA FUCKEERS? WHAR YA'T?" someone yelled from outside the stuffy janitor's closet. Whoever it was seemed a bit distant from where we were.
"Danell…" I whimpered. "I don't wanna die."
He nodded. "Me neither. Just calm down. We'll be okay."
I could hear a tiny shaking in his voice but I nodded anyways. Aside from me being scared as hell, there was the fact that I was stuffed in the tiny closet. There was a broom I was laying my back against and I was sitting on a bunch of towels. Danell was against the door, his legs were over mine and our faces were a few inches apart. He was breathing on my face and his breath smelled like strawberries and mint. Yum.
"Just in case, I guess we should tell each other our deepest secrets." Danell suggested.
I glared at him. "Danell, that doesn't make any sense if we're going to live. You're freaking me out more."
"WHAR YA'T KIDDIES!" the voice was closer now.
"Hm…my deepest secret is that I like pretending I'm a girl when I'm chatting online." Danell said.
I laughed lightly. "I can imagine that."
"And that I like Britney Spears perfume. I think it smells nice. She should make them for men too." Danell continued.
"Ew." I winced.
He wrinkled his nose. "I know. You?"
I sighed. "You really wanna know?" Well, since we were in a near death situation sort of deal, it would be a good chance to tell him. He would find out one day. Might as well.
"Yeah." He nodded. "It can't be worse than mine."
"I'm gay." I told him.
"Oh." He blinked. "That's your deepest secret?" he asked then smiled. "That's not so deep."
I raised an eyebrow. "What? You want me to tell you that I think I'm in love with you or something?" I asked.
"Well," he smiled. "That would be ni—"
"Cause I do." I said firmly.
His eyes widened. "You…you do?" he repeated.
I sighed. "Y-yeah. I do." I watched his face turn from shock to amusement.
"Really." He said.
Suddenly I wished I never told him. It was stupid. Why did I say that? Wasn't it enough that I told him I'm gay? Do I have to ruin it even more by telling him that? He probably will never look at me the same way again.
"Well, that's good to know." He said, still smiling.
"W-what?" I stared at him. What did he mean by that?
"So you won't kick me in the face if I lean in and kiss you right?" he asked.
I frowned. What kind of joke was that? Sure Danell was funny, but this wasn't. "Why would you wanna—" I began.
Before I could even finish my sentence, he had leaned in and pressed his lips softly against mine. I gasped and my eyes widened. Okay, so I hadn't expected him to actually do it, but here I was, my lips connected to that of the boy whose lips I've always craved. And damn, did it feel good. His hands that had stopped rubbing my shoulders not some time ago pulled me closer to him as his tongue ran along my bottom lip.
Needless to say I was in heaven. I opened my mouth wider, beckoning his tongue further inside. For those few seconds I forgot everything about the suicidal idiot outside who was probably ready to kill us. My hands moved to the bottom of his shirt, meaning to pull him closer toward me, but instead, I pushed him away and his heavenly mouth and tongue slipped away. Sadly, my memory had returned.
Okay, so I admit it. I'm stupid. But still, he had no right to be kissing me. Especially in a closet when a psycho guy was outside ready to kill us at any given moment. "What the hell was that?!" I yelled, a little too loud than I had initially intended.
He blinked. It was rather cute and made my heart melt. His lips were curled into a cute pouty face and all I could do was stare. "What? You don't wanna kiss me? I thought you said you think you're in love with me? Besides, I didn't want you to feel like you missed something if we die."
"Danell, you're straight you idiot." I muttered.
He shrugged. "I know."
"Then you shouldn't be teasing me." I whispered and crossed my arms over my chest. "It's wrong to use my feelings like that. It hurts. You're the last person that could ever hurt me, Danell."
He frowned. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Jed. I'm sorry."
I nodded, looking away from his face. "It's okay." Yeah I admit that I wished he would say something else. But what did I expect? That he'd express his undying love for me? He's straight, I told myself. He even admitted that to me.
"But," he said loudly, awakening me from my thoughts. "If we get out of here alive I—"
I looked up at him, waiting for what he was going to say, but it never came. A loud sharp gunshot interrupted him.
"Oh shit! Towels! Towels! He's bleeding!"
The closet door swung open and Danell fell, pulling me with him so that I lay on top of him. In any other situation, I would have blushed madly but now I was too scared to do anything of the sort.
The man that had opened the door was too busy grabbing the towels I had been sitting on to care about us. But another police figure came up to us as we were sitting up.
"Excuse me boys, did ya witness anything that happened today?" he asked in a weird accent I didn't recognize.
"No sir," Danell replied. "Uh…my friend is going into shock sir, can I take him to the hospital?" he asked.
Shock my ass. I was perfectly fine! My eyes traveled to the man on the floor who was covered in blood. It wasn't a police man, so I guessed it was the man with the gun from earlier. Three police figures were around him, two putting towels on his head to try and stop the bleeding. He was definitely dead so I didn't know what they were doing. My stomach lurched violently and I felt like throwing up. Okay, maybe I'm not okay.
"What the hell happened?" Danell asked, also having a sick look on his face.
The man bit his lip. "Why don't you take your friend to the hospital son?" he asked. "We seem to have a situation of suicide." He said in a low voice. "Go on boys, to the hospital."
Danell nodded as he helped me up, squeezing my hands tightly.
"Jed, are you okay?" he asked.
I shook my head and looked over at him. "Le-let's go." I whispered.
He didn't let go of my hands as we began to walk away from the horrific scene. As soon as we hit outside, I let out a breath I didn't notice I had been holding. We stopped walking. "Jed…"
"I guess there isn't a track meet today." I said quietly. After that, there was no way I could do anything.
His thumbs absently ran circles over my knuckles and rubbed my shaking hands gently. "Jed…um, well, we survived." He smiled at me.
I smiled back. "Yeah…thank fucking God." I replied.
"Well, what I was saying back there before we were so rudely interrupted…" he began.
I nodded. This time he'd finish telling me and I'd be damned if I let anyone interfere.
"Well, I wouldn't mind kissing you again if you…er…wanna." He finished.
I blinked. "And what do you mean by that?" I asked.
I could've sworn he blushed. "I'm not gay. You of all people know that. But…remember when I was with Denise?"
I nodded. Denise was the only girl he had gone out with that broke up with him first. She supposedly believed he was ignoring her.
"I always used to break our plans because me and you had more interesting things to do right? When I was with her, or any other girl, it felt like, yeah this chick's my girlfriend and I gotta impress her with my manly charm. But with you…" he smiled. "With you I always feel like I could be myself ya know? I'm always comfortable, I tell you everything. I thought it's 'cause you're my best friend and stuff. But seriously, if someone asks me who I'd rather be with, some random extremely hot chick with a nice personality or you, I'd choose you."
I opened my mouth to reply some form of a stupid, shocked, dumb-fucked reply but he continued.
"So if you still think you're in love with me," at this he smirked at me, "then you owe me a relationship cause that 'just friends' crap doesn't work when you like someone more than you let on."
"Huh?" And so, I finally let out my stupid, shocked, dumb-fucked reply. Okay, so when I woke up that morning I woke up hoping just to hang out with Danell and have some fun. Did I really expect this? Hell no…I mean, I was shocked, obviously, but also very very excited. And I really hoped he fucking meant it. "You're serious?"
Danell raised an eyebrow. "Oh come on Jed, you know me. I'm always serious."
I burst out laughing. Yeah right. Danell was the total opposite of serious. "What are you talking about always serious? You're never serious."
He frowned. "Well, I've never been more serious in my whole life. You owe me a relationship."
I smiled back at him. "Okay." Seriously, who was I to say no? "So you seriously think this'll work out?" I asked.
He smiled and pulled me close into his arms.
"Hey, we'll never know 'till we try right?" he asked leaning in to kiss me.
That was all I needed.
Author's Notes: Ah! The sap! Lol that's all folks! Or not…actually. These characters are actually younger versions of Jed and Danell from a story I plan on posting up around St. Patrick's Day. As you can tell, I enjoy posting on occasions. I'm so effing weird.
"We'll Never Know" is a song by Lifehouse.
This is dedicated to the time of the "Bomb Scare" Sonora, final exam day, 3rd period year 05-06. Good times.
This was mostly written in Math class Sophomore year of high school because I was so fucking bored out of my mind and had nothing else to do. Feel free to express your anger at having me waste your time with my retardedness.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
Luv people, luv.