His call begging me to meet him had been so urgent.

Being the procrastinator that I am, I still had not finished packing, but as usual, I dropped everything to come meet him. Besides, as far as I knew, this would be the last time I'd be able to do this in a long time.

I wondered what the emergency could be. Did he get into another fight with Jane? Did something happen with his dad again? Was something wrong at work?

I could see Zachary getting out of his car through the café's window. He walked in and spotted me instantly. He walked over to me and before either of us could say a word, he pulled me up from my seat and wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you, Lorraine" he sighed, burying his face in my dark hair.

"I love you too," I replied, returning his hug.

"No, Rain, I mean, I'm in love with you. I don't know why I never saw it before, but I see it now. I love you," he whispered.

His voice was so soft and gentle, but he might as well have yelled it into my ear.

"What?" was all my shocked mind could come up with, as my arms went limp.

I looked at my best friend standing before me and my mind simply went blank. I felt myself sit down and saw him copy my action. At some point, he had grabbed my hand, and was now gently holding on to it.

We stared at each other in silence before I finally found words to say, "But Zachary, you're my best friend."

"That's exactly why I love you, Rain," he sighed again, "You accept me for me, you've always been there for me, and you're real with me."

"Zach, I'm about to leave for Europe. I leave tomorrow, for goodness sake! I have no idea how long I'll be gone," I said, unsure if this was a dream or reality, "You can't love me, not like that."

"Don't leave," was his simple reply.

"How can you even ask that of me? Grad school and an internship in France! It's what I've always wanted!" I was completely shocked by his behavior. I never would have thought Zachary would ever ask me to do such a thing.

Shame and guilt flashed in his face, but determination dominated, "Then I'll go with you. It's as simple as that."

"I can't let you do that. What about Jane? You love Jane a lot. She's good for you. She loves you, and I'm leaving," I said, trying to remember how to breathe, "Please, Zachary, she can make you happy."

"You can make me happy, Rain," he replied, "I love you. I'm going to leave her for you, Lorraine."

"Zachary, you can't leave Jane. She's perfect for you. Please don't do this to me," I said desperately, "You know me, and there is no way you can love me. You don't want what I want and I don't want what you want. Neither of us should have to give up our dreams. You can't do this."

"I want you, Rain, what else matters? We can figure out the rest later."

"No, we can't. Everything else matters!" I cried, "I know you, Zachary. I know you want marriage and children and stability. You want to settle down as soon as you can. Me? I want to move to Paris! I want adventure and excitement and to see the world. Marriage and children don't fit into my picture anytime soon, if ever. You know that more than anyone. We can't do this."

His eyes fell to the ground.

"I'm so sorry, Zach. You're my best friend, but I can't settle down now, not even for you. I have to go to Europe alone," I whispered, the tears were filling my eyes, but they refused to fall, "I'll always be here for you and I'll always love you, but I'm sorry."

He looked up at me and I could see his eyes were also full of tears, threatening to fall. I've never seen Zachary cry. I couldn't believe that I, his best friend, was the one to hurt him this much.

"You're my best friend, Rain, and I love you. Please, don't leave tomorrow. Stay for a few more days. Just give us time. Please," he pleaded.

"Zachary," she replied, shaking her head slowly.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. As he put the box in my hand, he pulled me close and kissed me.

After ten years of friendship, we shared our first kiss and it was amazing.

"I love you, Lorraine, I always will," he whispered, before he left me alone in the café and drove off.

I walked into my nearly empty bedroom and locked the door.

I opened the box and found my bracelet in perfect condition.

As I felt the blue and crystal bead with my fingers, tears fell steadily from my eyes. The bracelet had been his gift to me for my 18th birthday. It was the best present he had ever given me. Two months ago, the bracelet, which I had worn almost everyday, broke. I put the pieces into a box and had planned on fixing it myself, but I never got around to it. I don't know when he did it, but he must've stolen the box and fixed it for me.

As I sat on the plane the next morning, the tears continued to fall. I didn't even see him this morning. I asked my mother to drive me to the airport a half an hour earlier and said goodbye sooner than planned.

I gingerly rubbed the beads around my wrist. I silently wondered if he had read my letter.

Once the plane took off, I knew. He had read my letter.

Dearest Zachary,

I'm so sorry for leaving without a proper goodbye to you. This wasn't quite what I wanted, but I guess I'm not as courageous as I had thought. It's just too hard to really say goodbye to you. I wish I could have found the courage. It's just as hard to leave your best friend and not say goodbye, but I somehow had found the courage to do that.

You asked me for time, and I wish I could've given it to you, but we both know it would have done us no good. In the end, it only would've hurt us more.

I love you. I honestly do. And that's why it hurts me so much to do this to you. It's for your own good. You deserve to be happy and that can only happen with me as nothing more than your best friend. We want different things, we always have, and we always will.

Please, don't come after me Zach. I know you better than anyone, and I know you're thinking about coming after me. I hope you aren't terribly angry with me. After all these years, I'd hate for you to hate me. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. You're the best friend I've ever had and I couldn't have asked for more from you. You make me feel so loved and safe. You're the brother I never had, but always wanted.

You'll move on, I know you will. You'll love someone else more than you loved me and get married and have those kids you've always wanted to have. I hope you tell them about that wonderful auntie they have who is wandering around the world and tell them stories about when we were teenagers.

I'll think of you often and I'll miss you. I'll be sure to call you when I come home. Please take care of yourself. It hurts me so much when you don't and I would hope you wouldn't go to such lengths to hurt me.

You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose you. I hope you understand that I did what was best for us both. I love you, always have and always will. Au Revoir.

Love Always,

Lorraine.

I didn't see Zachary while I was in Grad school but he surprised me and came to my graduation.

I chose to stay in Europe. We saw each other every Christmas when I went home and we sent each other emails occasionally, but the distance and our busy lives made it too hard to stay as close.

A couple of years later, I received a wedding invitation. Zachary was going to marry Jane. I couldn't have been happier for him, but I didn't go to the wedding.

Though he was a married man, we still kept in touch. I was the first person he told when he found out Jane was pregnant with his son, Jake, and then his daughter, Emily. He was the first person I told about my engagement to Christopher. He had four beautiful children with Jane, bought himself a nice home and found a stable career, everything he had dreamed of. I never had children, but I got to see the world, which was all I ever wanted.

True to our word, we were best friends until the day he died. We never spoke about the day before I left for Europe, but we remembered our words well. We always cared and we were always there for each other. Through all of life's ups and downs, regardless of how long we would go without speaking, the only stable thing we had was each other.

Yes, I loved Zachary and he loved me.