Worthless Apologies

I gaze intently into your eyes, my heart beating as a war drum, filled to the point of bursting with mixed emotions. You hold me close, arms tight around me, fistsfulls of my jacket, tears forming in your eyes. 'Don't cry,' I say, 'please don't cry…' 'Don't go…' you let the statement hang in the air, a loose thread of the tapestry of our love, wavering in a hale storm that I have created…

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I should have never

Brought this upon us, darling.

Please forgive me.

Please forgive me.

Wrap your arms tight

Around me, darling.

I see

Its all me.

I take complete

Responsibility

I must face

The consequences of my

Own actions….

You tilt your head up, and the side, for one last good bye kiss. When I hesitate, you lean forward, and kiss me, sliding one hand up my back. I want so badly to return it, but know it will only bring more pain that I have already brought. I take a step back, pulling out of your embrace. The tears now pore freely down your face, as I turn to go. I take one more step away, and open the car door. I slid into the drivers seat, and reach for my keys…

Don't hold me down, no

I must turn around, now

I must cope an my own,

Bleeding on the ground, I

Try to hard to fight this

Bordering on selfless

Motive still un known, I

Step down off the thrown

I reach my hand into an empty pocket, and glance up at you. You hold your fist out, and open it, the keys dangling from our key chain. I step out of the car, and shut the door. Dead autumn leaves crunch underneath my feet as I do so. I walk over to you, and you slowly step away, toward the ledge. You hold your hand out, over the railing, over the lake, a forty foot drop onto rocks and icy water. You let our key chain slip out of your finger, and fall down into the water…

Don't try and stop me

Never try to copy

Learn from my bad example

Your body is a temple

Stay so clean and pure

Every second fewer

To redeem your self not

Act like someone else….

I start to ask you why you did that. There is no anger in my voice, only confusion. Tears, both yours and mine fall to the ground. You look up at me, eyes glazed with pain. I take a hold of your hand, and place it over my heart, and as you fix your eyes upon your hand in mine, I say 'you will always be remembered here, no matter what happens.' Another tear slides down your cheek, and you take one step backward. The low railing at the edge does nothing to stop you, and your hand slips out of mine. I reach forward to grab your jacket, but you are already falling. As you fall, I here just three last words. 'I love you.' 'I love you too…'