What makes a good family?
What are the rules we must abide?
To live up to the standards
Of the world passing by?
Is it love?
Is it money?
Is it passion?
Is it fame?
Or is it making people think
That you're playing a different game?
Must I live in a façade?
Of what the world expects me to be?
Why can't my peers, my teachers, my parents,
Why can't they see?
The days just pass me by
All in uniform
Little do they know that under the mask
I live in a world where all passion is torn
Now, close your eyes and picture this
And maybe you'll understand
Do you know what it's like to live
While eating out of everyone's hand?
Have you ever been a puppet?
Strings guiding where you go?
A painted smile on your face
So that nobody would know?
Of the true feelings you dare not show?
For fear they won't agree?
Where all means of freedom are stripped from under you
Do you know what it's like to be me?
Day by day, hour by hour
It never seems to change
The world expects something of me
My life isn't allowed to be strange
Wake up, go to school, and get perfect grades
Nothing less than a 96 will do
Now I ask you, think long and hard
Do your parent's expect that of you?
Time for lunch, I think I can handle that
I can't do anything wrong, right? Oh no
Because if I don't choose right, I'll be sure to gain weight
And that's not accepted in today's status quo.
Band practice, that's always fun
I love playing the trumpet, no doubt
But my dad forces me to overdo it
Why can't he figure it out?
Maybe I don't want to join jazz band
Maybe collage bands are something I'm just not ready to hear
Ok, I'm good, I understand that, but I'll go at my own pace
Is that alright daddy dear?
No of course not! What was I thinking?
I'm really sorry to ask
Because I know that I'm not allowed to make my own choices
I'll go put on my mask
My mom say's she wants me to by happy
But we don't see eye to eye
Happy can have various meanings
But with which must we live by?
To my mom, happiness means popularity
Having hundreds of friends is the key
But if your few friends are the best, who needs a hundred?
That's what I see
"You're fat, you're ugly
Do something with your hair
Why do we tell you these things?
Sweetie it's because we care."
But do you really care about me?
Or of the image you must withhold?
Does it matter if I'm made of ashes
If on the outside I'm painted gold?
Do I come from a broken home?
Depends on what you see I guess
I'm not poor, my family's not apart
The house is never a mess
But there isn't a day that goes by
That I don't want to scream
Just cry out the pains of the world
…Know what I mean?
But mom and dad, there is a ray of hope
I failed to mention before
Must've slipped my mind
It will make things better I'm sure
You didn't mess up completely
When you gave birth to me
Though I may not live up to par
There is one thing I did oversee
My sister is perfect
Is anything wrong with her?
You can always marvel at her work
While my life passes in blur
Perfect grades, and that's a fact
She was one of few who Aced her math mid-term
Amazing skier, cares about how she looks
And here I stand, the family germ
So, look upon these facts, take a moment to understand
My view on life
And maybe you'll understand
Why I always have a look of sadness and strife
So before I part with this pen and paper
There is one more thing I should say
It may hurt me with each letter I write
But it doesn't matter anyway
I should say I'm sorry
For not being who you want me to be
I'm sorry for failing you
I'm sorry for being me