I got in my car and I drove. I didn't know where I was going or how I was going to get there but I had to get away from where I was. A cold chill had seeped into my bones and I couldn't seem to shake it. I had Nicky, Chip, and Max's voice running through my head and let me tell you, that's a hell of a lot more voices than I'm accustomed to.
I finally stopped the car an hour later and I knew where I was I just wasn't sure how I had gotten there.
I walked up to the front porch that I had so many memories on and knocked on the door that I used to have a key to.
"You've ruined my life." I said, when my mother opened the door.
"Well hello to you too dear." My mother said, standing at the door in leather pants and a tight red turtle neck. "And here we had all thought that you had dropped off the face of the earth."
"Didn't you hear what I just said?" I asked, my anger bubbling. "You have single handedly ruined my life."
"Why don't you tell me more about it inside, it's cold out." My mother said, gently pushing my shoulder in the door.
Once we were inside and I had hung my jacket up like a proper little girl we sat at the kitchen table and my mother started making me tea. She had apparently, suddenly turned into a homemaker.
The voice came from a smallish man standing in the door of our kitchen. His pants were too high and his hair line… I wasn't sure what had happened to that. Physically he was the exact opposite of my mother. He was also looking at her like she was Cleopatra and he was her Mark Antony.
"Franc, darling." My mother said, turning and smiling at her little man. "This is my daughter Sabrina."
"Ah, Sabrina." Franc said. He walked over to me, picked up my hand and gently kissed it. "Just as beautiful as Audrey Hepburn I see, if not more."
I know I should have said something. I should have faked a laugh and commented on the fact that he was lying. Or asked him how my mother was in bed and if that recent position she had wanted to try had worked out for them. But somehow, I couldn't manage a word. So I sat and stared at the man who had taken my father's place in bed.
"Franc darling, if you could give Sabrina and myself a moment to ourselves. She had to explain to me why I've ruined her young life."
"Certainly," Franc said, continuing to smile. "I'll be in the other room."
I watched him leave.
"So, how did I ruin your life?" Cherry said, sitting across from me.
I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to look at my mother, the source of so many of my frustrations and let it all out. I wanted to tell her she was a horrible mother and that she had made me what I was, a bad person who cheated on her boyfriend. I wanted to say so much but only one thought was running through my head.
"Mom, what happened between you and Dad?"
My mother sighed and looked at the table. Then she looked at me.
"You're father… he's a good man. He always took care of us financially and he loved you girls. He was a good father."
"But did he take care of you?" I asked, afraid of finding out what I already knew.
"If you're asking if he loved me… well he did at first. You're father and I were very in love when we first met."
"And then what?"
"I'm not sure sweetie. Time took its tole I guess. I was busy with you girls and your father was busy at work. Somewhere along the way he started flirting with other women and at first I tried to not let it bother me. I told myself it was my fault for not being enough for him."
"Oh mommy," I said, taking my mother's hand. "Did Dad, well did he ever have an affair?"
"Yes, he did. It was around the same time we found out you were diabetic. I think it was one of the girls at his work." My mother said, taking a sip of her tea.
"Is that why you were so distant?" I asked, beginning to cry for the third time that day.
"Was I distant baby?" Cherry asked, taking my hand from across the table.
"Yes… you didn't seem to be with Molly but you both were with me. I thought you had forgotten about me." I said, trying to block my childhood's thoughts.
"Oh my baby, I never forgot about you. I was trying to stay strong for you and Molly."
"But why did you always pay more attention to Molly. Why did you always favor her?" I asked, the tears really starting to stream now.
My Mom scooted her chair closer to mine and wiped my tears with the sleeve of her shirt.
"I never meant it to be that way Sabrina. You were just always so much stronger than your sister. I know she's older but Molly well, she's off in her own little world and I felt she needed to be protected more. You practically walked out of my womb you were so independent."
I looked at my mother, my mommy and now she was crying. It was the saddest thing I had ever seen.
"Oh Mom, don't cry." I said, wrapping my arms around my mother in what was the closest hug we had shared in a very long time.
"Did I really ruin your life?" I heard her whisper.
That's when my heart broke.
"No, of course you didn't. Mom, I'm so fucked up. I ruined my own life." I said, starting to sob into her shoulder.
"Oh baby, what's wrong?" Mom asked me, and for the first time I really wanted to tell her.
"I am such a screw up. I've fallen in love." I said, trying to catch my breath.
By this time I was in full hysterics as I nodded my head and somehow managed to ask how she knew.
"Sweetie," my mother said, stroking my hair, "I'm your mother. I know everything." And we both laughed. "So what are you going to do about this? You're still dating Chip right?"
"Yes," I said, gulping in air. "Max is going away and he told me to call him when I've figured out what I plan on doing. Mommy, I just don't know what to do."
"Are you actually asking for my advice?" Cherry said, staring at me like I was crazy. Which lets face it, at this point who was going to argue?
I nodded my head; I had given up a long time ago.
"Talk to Chip. Tell him the truth. Say you're sorry and you never meant to hurt him and then kiss him goodbye. Then apologize to Nicky."
"Wait, how did you know about Nicky?"
"She called me."
"Oh. Isn't there an easier way to do this?" I asked, knowing that there wasn't.
"No baby, I'm sorry." Cherry said, getting up from her seat and dragging me up with her. she put her arms around me and stood there hugging me. It was really nice.
"Thank you Mom."
"Your welcome Sabrina."
I drove home and thought about my life. While I had assumed my Mom had stopped caring about me it turns out she was dealing with the fact that her husband no longer cared about her. I had always known that Mom and Dad didn't have the perfect relationship but I didn't know he had cheated on her, or that she had to live with that.
We kept talking after our hug. Turns out Dad had quite a few affairs and she had lived with them silently. She didn't want to leave him until both Molly and I were fully grown. She didn't want to scar us emotionally is how she put it. Then we were grown up and out of the house she couldn't see what the point in leaving was. She had her home and her routine. No, she didn't love my father anymore but at least he was company. Then she had met Franc at a fund raiser and he had swept her off her feet.
My mother had fallen in love.
She never held it against my Dad for sleeping around and she asked me to do the same. She told me he was still my father and he loved me a lot. She was happy now and he could be happy now too.
What she forgot was the he was living with me.
I thought about telling Molly but then decided against it. I guess I figured she still needed to be protected.
Before I left the house Franc stopped me in our hallway. He gave me a massive hug before letting go and telling me, with tears in his eyes, that my mother loved me very much. He told me that he wasn't going to try to be a father to me but that he would like very much to be my friend. He loved my mother and just wanted to make her happy. And hey, whose gonna argue with that?
I hugged the little man back and told him that I would love to be his friend and then I left my childhood home and came back to my present one.
I held my breath as the phone rang. My palms were sweating and I was pretty sure my sugar levels were fluctuating because of the stress of it all. I was just about to hang up when the ringing stopped.
"Chip, we need to talk."
Hola everyone!!!! Oh my, I can't believe I haven't updated since OCTOBER!!! I AM SOOOO SORRY!!!! This is the worst yet I think, and just when I was getting into a good groove with this story. But let me tell you, I have tried writing this chapter SO MANY TIMES!!!
I knew I wanted Sabrina to confront her mom about some issues but my goodness, I didn't realize it was going to be this difficult to get out. Once again, my sincerest apologies! And here we are. Its not long but I'll do my best to get the next chappy out in about a week, PROMISE! No longer than two TOPS! Hope you all like it and once again THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!!!!
Eat My Shorts
ch 15, abuse
1) Who is Jeremy? That name just popped up and caught me off guard, I think maybe you meant Jake? Chap 15.
And 2) Nicky and Chip? Even though I like Max more, seeing Nicky and Chip get together in the future might break my heart. I don't know, there's something about the best friend dating the guy that just doesn't settle with me. Heh.
1) Yes, I meant Jake. Sorry, I'll go and fix that...
2) Wow, I've been getting A LOT of feedback from this. I'm not quite sure what is going to happen with these two but I will do my best to make everyone happy :D
Alright, I think thats all for the questions folks... I'm a little surprised actually. Anyways, let me know what ya think!!!