"Can I please have the machete?"


"Why not?"

"Because! Only people with mad pirate skills can have a machete."

"I DO have mad pirate skills."

"No, you have nomad skills."

"Oh, gee, thanks."


"You just said that I have no mad skills."

"No way! I said you have nomad skills. You know, nomad, as in a wandering person. You would make a way awesome nomad."


"It's true."


"Yeah! Plus, doesn't your name mean wanderer, or explorer of places or something?"

"Did you just say my name meant wanderer or carpet face?"


"I'm pretty sure that's insulting."

"Pirates are insulting."

"You're not a pirate."

"Yes I am!"

"No beans."

"Yes! Look at these mad pirate machete skills I have! How can I not be a pirate?"

"I have machete skills too."

"No, because only pirates have machete skills. Don't you know that?"

"I'm not a pirate, and I do have machete skills."

"Prove it- here's the machete. I know that I have skills, because I am the pirate."

"My foot."

"Your foot is not the pirate. I am the pirate."



"I just hit my hand on the thornbush."

"You've had the machete for about five seconds, and you've already hurt yourself with it?"


"I had the machete for about twenty minutes, and I didn't hurt myself once."


"How'd you hurt yourself again?"

"I hit the thornbush with my hand instead of the machete."

"Right. Good job with that, thou mighty thorn thwacker."

"Is that my new nickname?"



"Can I have the machete back?"


"I need to cut down this vine here."

"I can do that."

"No, you can't, because you're not pirate enough."

"Yes I can! Sheesh- you don't actually have to be a pirate to use a machete."

"Yes you do!"

"No you don't!"



"I want the machete."

"It's mine."

"I had it first."

"I have it now."


"Fine, here."

"Thank you."

"You're not welcome."

"Good grief!"


"You just totally tried to grab the blade of the machete!"

"I was being careful!"

"Ha! Grabbing blades is not careful! Didn't you learn that in kindergarten?"

"I just want the machete back, that's all."

"Snatching is rude, though."

"Oh, quit pouting."


"You are incredibly annoying, you know that?"

"Of course I know that. I live with myself, remember?"

"You're insane. Absolutely bonkers."

"Yeah, but I'm good company."

"Why are you good company?"

"Because everyone likes to be around a pirate."


"A pirate with mad skills, no less!"

"You really are crazy."

"I love you too."

A/N: Yes, I did have this conversation with my brother, and yes, I am a mad pirate with some amazing machete skills. Review!