(or No One Ever Told Him Morning Sickness Was a Bitch)
Bubba Reese was a man of peace.
He hardly ever fought.
He never killed nobody
that he thought he hadn't ought.
He disappeared for several days
(they thought him on a bender)
When he returned he was in a state
unfamiliar to his gender.
He said he'd been abducted
one dark and stormy night.
He met Elvis in the saucer--
his jumpsuit pristine white.
They prodded and they probed him,
and then they cut his nails.
They held him in their many arms
and smacked him with their tails.
They set him down in Fresno,
though they'd picked him up in France.
They promised that they'd come for him
next time they held a dance.
They promised they would call him
and they wouldn't kiss and tell.
He told them to send child support
or they could go to hell.
The moral of this story is--
there isn't one, I'd say.
'Cept you can't escape us rednecks.
We're everywhere these days.