Let Go

Dark misty eyes glowered down at a shaking hand cupped around several small white pills complete with dusty white trails. The pale hand rose and pills were thrown into a gaping warm mouth, swallowed and sticking into the boy's throat for a second before he followed them with a mouthful of water. Shaking all over, sweat breaking out across his body, his deep eyes stared at the floor as though entranced. Soft lips parted as if to speak, then abruptly snapped shut once more, pursing into a tight line, as if afraid to speak. Eyelids blinked repeatedly, drawing out small tears that rushed down ashen cheeks, leaving shining trails across skin and salty tastes at mouth corners as they fell.

"They never let you down, eh?"

Jumping, the brunette head turned sharply to face the figure silhouetted against the doorframe, not having realised anyone was there until they spoke. A small grunt from the previously pursed lips signified to the figure to venture further into the room.

A warm hand rested against the brunette's shaking knee and he looked up, letting dark mist meet the glaring green eyes of the blonde newcomer before him. The other hand stroked away cold tears from his numb face, tracing its way up the cheek bones to finally entangle itself in a mess of brown hair.

"Stop," the harsh word left a shaking mouth, as much as he could muster to prevent the coming clashing of lips.

"What? Why?" Hurt green eyes sought deeply into the offending murky pools of emotion.

The brunette stared down at his empty hand, studying the pale embellishments left on his palm by the pills, trying to fathom the words to explain his thoughts. He clenched his hand several times, squeezing in tightly then tersely loosening all the muscles letting his hand open up, expecting every time to see just one more pill, or at least grasp on to something, something he knew would be real, something he knew would last.

The silence lasted too long as words failed him and all too soon he let his blonde companion's lips clash with his own, warmth and desire rushing through veins as the kiss deepened, tongues exploring mouths and heartbeats meeting heartbeats as bodies drew closer. But it was too much, it was all too much, and he couldn't take it for real. Firm hands pushed the blonde boy away from the brunette and he gathered himself away from the green eyed torturer, working his way from the bottom of the bed he sat on to the top.

"There's no point, no point. You're not real, you're not going to last. It all ends too soon," Swollen lips stuttered into the darkness as a pained figure stood at the end of the bed, bemused and craving the brunette's love. A strongly awkward, hushed stillness settled between them before the slender blonde spun on his heel and leaving the room.

The brunette lay back shaken yet contently letting a twisted smile cross his lips; his point had been proven. No one and nothing lasted for ever; no one and nothing stayed the same. Everything changed. Everything except the effect of those pills.

An almost skeletal hand made its way across the bed sheets before closing around its target- a small cold white bottle. Hands twisted off the lid and emptied white pills into the palm of a shaking hand as misty eyes stared down at them before casting them into an open mouth, shortly being swallowed with a mouthful of water.

Gloomy eyes shut slowly and a faint vestige of a smile settled on his face as a brunette boy felt everything in his body slowly begin to shut down, letting him finally rest in peace.

-- Even Gods Dream, 2007