Title: ISRAEL!
TTO: OKLAHOMA!
Inspiration: The first two lines of the chorus.

(The) Land of Israel
Where the sun shines bright on land and sea,
And the rocks and trees, the old cities,
Filled with people singing joyfully!

(The) Land of Israel
Worth protecting every night and day,
With our love and life, through joy and strife,
We choose you no matter what they say!

Chorus:
We know we belong to the land,
And the land we belong to is grand,
And when we say
"Kol od ba'levav" yay!
We're only saying
You're doing fine Land of Israel,
Land of Israel, okay
I-S-R-A-E-L Land of Israel... Yay!


I wrote it because of the chorus, but also because Israel's Independace Day is coming up and I want to include the song in the festival. Therefore, I need it to be as near to perfect as possible. Any suggestions or comments? It was hard to write it, since the words of the original are so fast-paced and specific. I'm not at all sure it's the best it can be.

NOTE: "Kol od ba'levav" is the start of Israel's national anthem.

END NOTE: Okay guys, I'm really serious about this. What sort of comments and suggestions do you have? I need other opinions on this, especially in the way of technical line construct - you don't have to know about Israel or anything to have a valid opinion.

Please tell me what you think! This isn't a generic plea for reviews; this is a genuine call for help! Thank you!