A/N: I know, I know, another story when I have so many. But I was listening to this song and suddenly this whole story flooded my mind. It will be 30 chapters and most will be a lot longer than this first one. The second one already is done and about twice as long and I'm working on the third. Please please review! This is unlike anything I've ever done before and I'd really like input.
I got a phone call today. Not strange, you say, and I know. This one was about you though. You didn't call--as I'm sure you well know--but someone called asking about you. They were calling to speak to me, to ask me questions about you.
You know who they were? Cops. I almost laughed when they said they were from the police department. You, in some kind of trouble? Are you kidding me? You are the most law-abiding person I know! I mean, I know cops who break more laws than you!
Anyway, about this phone call. So they said they were wondering the last time I'd seen you. Two days ago, I told them, since you worked yesterday. We went out for drinks on Tuesday. It's your only day off. When did I last speak to you? Same time. Like I said, you worked yesterday and when I say you worked, I mean you really worked. I even told them about how you put in fourteen hours most days and I go hang out at the store just to spend time with you.
Remember that time I broke up with that Cuban guy and I came into the store and stuffed myself under the sale rack, mumbling until you came and dragged my story out of me? I didn't really want to break up with him, you figured out, but I knew eventually I would and we both knew I ought to spare myself his drama. He was a drama king, wasn't he?
Well they told me your boss had called to report you missing and while it hadn't been long enough to file a missing person's report, they were poking around just in case anything popped up.
Now then I actually laughed. You missing. (And her being your boss!) Like you would ever leave that shop. You complain about it all the time, but you love it. If you took more time off than one day a week, you'd go crazy missing it. Besides, if you were going missing, you'd tell me first. That's the way we do it. I told them that. He didn't seem entirely satisfied, but couldn't come up with anything to say to it.
Well I'll let them know if I think of anything. Sure. Pfft.
Of course after the whole phone call I got to thinking about how on Tuesday night we were talking about vacations and how you thought you might really need one. Maybe you just took off for a few days.
Nah. You're sitting at home by now eating Ben & Jerry's and watching these new primetime shows that are really just spiffed up nighttime soap operas. Don't know how you find that relaxing, but hey, whatever blows your skirt up. Speaking of which, I drew this dress design for you today. I know you're wary about my designs, but this one is intensely awesome. It's like Ariel meets Dorothy. (Sleek, fwoosh bottom-tail, bright red and sparkly.)
Well call me or something. Email me back if you're to lazy to find your phone. The whole world can think you're missing and I'll know the truth. Your cordless phone is stuck between the cushions of your couch.