I Really Love You

I stare at the blank lines

And etch my handwriting in between

My pencil's writing words and feelings

That to your eyes will be unseen

I look at the words in my heart

And tears begin to fall

Because I kept it inside

And built up this large wall

Just because I don't speak

Doesn't mean I have nothing to say

It doesn't mean that I don't like you,

I just can't speak to you today

People think that it's easy

To talk to the ones you love

But for me it's that hardest thing

To grasp my fear and rise above

I really do love you

And I really do care

I am just scared to speak

And to watch my heart tear

Dude, you've gotta understand

It's not you; it's just me

It's a war inside my heart

That I have yet to flee

Just because I cry

Does not mean that you're to blame

And it's not your fault

That I am what I became

Just because I say I'm scared

Doesn't mean that it's you I don't trust

It's just you're not the one I want to burden

And to my struggle thrust

I am sorry if I hurt you

Through the person that I am

I am sorry if I hurt you

Even though it's only I that I condemn

I am trying to make you smile

And I'm trying to be here too

But I can't let myself face you

In fear that you'll see through

But just because I can't face you,

Doesn't mean that it's you who hurt me

It's just a past that I can't erase;

Something I'll always see

Dude, please listen to me

And hear this simple thing

Those premonitions you were taught

Aren't all they are cracked up to be

I'm not everything that I appear

And not everything's what it seems

Life is more than reality T.V.

And fantasy filled dreams

Labels and your previous fears

Are nothing in the big scheme

And if you continue to do use them

In your face I will scream

But through the premonitions that you've been taught,

My love for you shines through

And yes, despite your anger towards me,

I really do love you.