"Never Again"

One day when no one was looking

He slipped his hands under his desk

And brought the pen cap to his wrist.

He felt it drag against his skin

And told himself, "It will never happen again."

A day later he felt the tears

Boil up behind his eyes,

And he didn't want to cry

So he took the knife from the kitchen drawer

And made a cut above the mark

That the pen cap had left before.

He felt the blood run down his arm,

Washed the knife,

And rinsed his skin

And told himself, "It will never happen again."

It took some time,

But soon his girlfriend left him.

And when he was crying

Head in his hands,

He saw the scars on his wrist

And reminded himself

Of the razorblade in the workshop

Waiting above the garage, just for him,

So he took the blade

And cut his skin

And told himself, "It will never happen again."

Months went by,

And the scars pilled up.

Thin lines growing thicker, more violent and deeper too.

And then with perfect timing,

His grandma died,

The one that had baked him cookies

When he was young.

And he saw this as a loss of innocence,

So he took a pair of scissors from his old backpack

And felt them dig into his veins.

When they found him, he told the shrink, as they sewed up his skin,

"It will never happen again."

For sometime

The objects rusted

As he put his frayed trust in the bottle

Lapping up the last drops of whiskey, wine and scotch.

But as the problems grew more serious,

The veins on his wrist became more precious,

And so he took the broken end of a bottle

And opened up his old scars, breaking the new skin

And told himself, "It will never happen again."

As the wife

He had loved

Rotted in a coffin box,

Her widower above her

Decided on one action.

And so he locked the door to his apartment

And disconnected the phone line.

He took a new knife this time,

The one the deceased's parents had bought them as a fine wedding gift

And drew thin lines along both wrists

Tracing the outline

Of old scars and baby blue veins

And he watched himself

Bleed out one final time,

Watched the knife break the skin

And told himself for sure this time, "It will never happen again."