at 1:08 on a school night, i went away

leaving a cloud of water vapour in my wake

a pile of unfilled clothes on the bathroom floor (nobody wants them anyways)

unsettled, i stared

at my cloud of lingering breath

that i had only exhaled moments before

(smelling of toothpaste and human insides)

human insides; scattered on tiles

the palpitations of my heart caused the house to shudder

alive with hurt and unused feelings, each quiver brought on several shivers

my slippers? where i had placed them,

ready for bed, with whispers in my ear (accompanied by guitar plucks; shy and flirty)

i leaned forward and i smelt you, (strong and lavender-pink)

no, i was ready for bed, my bra was off and my face was clean

warm and heavy, but you made me heavier

heavy, then light, then not at all

above the floor, taller than i usually am (5'2)

i saw myself like never before, little bones and bursting flesh

fresh with raw pain

my body in broken bits, living breathing creatures (no blood; not a drop)

--

i was a mess on the floor that you would clean up in the morning

warm and heavy,

lavender-pink. a cloud of water vapour in my wake.