There she laid, in that bed her head on the white pillow. A crisp clean blue linen sheet covered her cold body. The room was painted an off-white color and a soft wind blew in from the open window. It was a lovely day, spring but it was later in the day, around sunset. The light from the majestic site flooded the room as a soft wind blew some soft pink cherry blossoms onto the hard oak floor. I opened the door and stared at her. My heart pounded loudly, wondering if she could hear, doubting that she did. The doctors said she was in a coma never to awake again, and what hurt even more was I was the cause of all this. One night, one stupid night, at our friend's party; it started out innocent as all parties do but then grew wild, a bit too wild. She wanted to leave, and frankly, I didn't blame her. She was headed out the door, with the two or three people who also wanted to leave. The situation sounds harmless on the outside, but on the inside, it wasn't. I do admit to being irresponsible, I did have something to drink that night, not enough to be considered drunk, but enough to have my judgment slightly impaired. I never really did take notice of who was driving, but I later discovered that the driver was drunk. I left the party at about 3:30 knowing I missed my curfew at midnight. Upon arriving at home, I found my parents a ghostly shade of white. They didn't yell, or scream, or ask where I had been or what I had been up to though it was clearly evident I had been drinking from the stench of alcohol on my breath. However, I was sober enough to comprehend most of what they were telling me. An accident. The driver drunk. Lost control. Hit a tree. She's in a coma. That night I didn't sleep, nor the next. They finally released her home, still unconscious and "lifeless" and this is how I found her. I walked over to the bed and sat beside her. Her soft brown curls spilled over the white pillow and her eyes were shut. Though she was "asleep", her face looked the same as it always did. I brushed a wisp or two of hair that covered her face from the soft wind that was blowing in the room. I stared at her, her beauty was more radiant then the light from the sun. Her expression was placid and peaceful her soft pink lips curved almost into the smile I knew well. Its not like she's dead or anything but yet, I'm so close yet so far from her. She incinerated the lives of everyone she met; her radiant smile could pierce through the darkness of any soul, including my own. This whole situation was breaking down the little heart I had left, the blade staining it with crimson regret I could not change the situation at hand nor repair the damage. I reached under the sheets and took her hand into my own trying to lace our fingers together. Here I sit holding on tonight, holding on to all the hope I have left, that she'll sit up and smile, talk to me like she did so often. Holding on to all the memories, all the conversations, the hugs, the kisses, and I love you's. Wishing, that I had put more feel in them, I could talk to her all evening but what would I say? I'm sorry? Get well soon? Did you know he was drunk how could you? What was the worst thing I could say? Maybe things were better this way. Even so I still kept wishing, wishing I could turn back the clock, replaying the scenario of that night through my head. "What if I left with her?" I pretended, "What if I left too, and drove away, trying to save her and both our cars collided?" "What if?" "What if…" I squeezed her hand slightly, wishing she would feel, hoping that she would at least squeeze back, but nothing. A few hot tears streamed down my face as I looked out the window, the twilight was fading, and the early evening stars filled the sky, slowly one by one. I looked at them and then back at her, remembering the wonder I saw in her face when she saw them, even if only half of that was in my dreams, the thoughts burned in my mind as if they were real. Holding on, I thought to my self, but for how long, just for tonight? For tomorrow? Or, for years to come? I glanced over at the clock; it chimed 8:00, time for me to leave. "So long, and goodnight," I whispered to the other. Her expression didn't change. Then I thought to myself, I never wanted to leave. Things would be better if I stayed here with her. A strong wind blew violently into her room. Cherry blossom petals from the tree near by gracefully danced over to where she lay like little ballerinas landing on her pillow. Again, I looked at her, spell bound. She looked like an angel, sent from above. I leaned over her, and softly pressed my lips against her own in a gentle kiss. "I love you,"I whispered against her soft lips. Ever so gently, I felt the kiss returned a muffled yet audible, "I love you too…" spilled from her lips against my own, talk about lips of an angel. I felt the kiss broken, and pulled back at her hoping to see her deep brown eyes stare up at me but alas nothing. From down stairs I heard dad calling, time to leave. "So long and goodnight my love, so long and good night…" I whispered, my voice trailed off as I gave her hand a final squeeze. I felt the squeeze returned, giving the dwindling candle of hope that burned in my soul a rush of a newfound hope, holding on. Hearing my name called again, a bit more angrily this time, I rose from the bed, and turned out her light. As I looked at her one last time I whispered "So long and goodnight," and though I may have been hallucinating, I swear I hear ever so quietly, "Goodnight," As I walked down the stairs towards the door I smiled to myself, I was holding on and I would keep holding on as long as it took, holding onto everything, holding on tonight.