Author's note: Contains swearing and rape scene. Do not flame if you don't like to read about these things, just don't read it, plain and simple. The first chapter was pretty much a prologue, this explains what it's about really. I have edited this, well spell checked it anyway.


I didn't use to be like this. I wasn't crazy at one point, not completely anyway. I've always thought I was slightly, I mean being at that school with those people every day, you'd have to be mentally insane. No, once upon a time, not too long ago, I was the height of popularity. I am not being conceited, honestly I'm not. I was once the girl that everyone wanted to be, now look at me. I'm the girl everyone spits on and snubs. This time last month, there wasn't a single person in the entire school that would look down their nose at me. Now, thanks to that one night, I'm ruined.

Last month

"So Jane, you going to Tim's party tonight?" An auburn haired girl asked as she applied mascara.

"Well, I think Justin wants to go so most probably he'll drag me along," Jane replied indifferently, "You going then Tiffany?"

"Oh I most certainly am," The girl's laughed tinkled throughout the room, "I heard Derek's going stag and you know he won't be stag for long if I'm there." A mischievous smile graced her face as she turned away from the mirror and faced the rest of the group, "Everyone clear on the rules for tonight?" Each of the five girls nodded except for one, the new girl that they had taken under their wing.

"Something wrong Heather?" Jane questioned in a sickenly sweet voice. The small blonde looked afraid, and she had right to be. Though Jane was not the worst of the group, she was definitely the scariest. She was known to go from nice to bitch in a matter of seconds, not something people liked to see or be on the receiving end of.

"Well, what are the rules for tonight? I'm just not sure," Heather replied timidly, keeping her eyes glued to the floor of the school toilet.

"How cute," Tiffany sneered before nodding to one of her subordinates.

"Basically, hands off Derek tonight. Don't go near him, don't talk to him, don't even look at him. Same goes for Justin of course," It was a petite Japanese girl that answered. This girls name was Sasuke, or Suke, and though short in stature she definitely made up for it in her larger than life personality, and attitude. She was one girl you didn't want to mess with. Heather just nodded before returning to the back of the group, avoiding the dismissing glares of the other girls. All attention had turned back to Tiffany and Jane anyway, the leaders of their little gang. The other members (Sasuke, Heather, Chloe, Rita, and Ashley) being only pawns that they used to do their bidding.

Their gang, though few in numbers, controlled the entire school. They were the ones to set the trends, to say who was dateable and who wasn't. If you dated someone that they deemed un-dateable, you became a social outcast, no matter what your previous status was. Many people found this out the hard way. Girls that were once in the gang were no longer spoken to by anyone on the social ladder, even those on the bottom rungs. There were once three heads of the gang; Tiffany, Jane and Rina, and now there were only two, what does that tell you? Jane, thankfully, was dating Mr Popularity himself though, Justin Dempson. Justin was the captain of the basketball team, and in the words of every single girl in the school, and even some of the guys, he was HOT! Whereas Tiffany never had a boyfriend. It wasn't that she couldn't get one, guys fell at her feet on a regular basis, it was that she got bored too easily. This meant that she never dated guys as such as she just had a lot of fun with them. Derek, Justin's best friend and second most wanted guy in the school, was Tiffany's latest conquest. That night was the night she hoped to snag him once and for all. She was actually considering giving dating a shot, but only for him that was. The other members of the group had boyfriends on and off, nothing serious or anything within the league of Justin or Derek.

That night, we all ended up at Tim's party, I only went due to the endless begging of Justin and somewhat Tiffany. Tim's parties were the best parties EVER! It was official, and no matter who tried to top them, they just couldn't it was actually impossible. Tim had a huge house. Did I say house? I meant mansion. He was one of the richest guys in school and liked to flaunt it a hell of a lot. It's what made the parties so great I guess, the endless flow of alcohol was enough to make anything seem amazing. So there we all were in the middle of the party, bumping and grinding like there was no tomorrow, everyone had a drink in their hand at all times. To be honest, I think I had too many drinks that night. No scratch that, I know I had too many drinks that night. Every time mine ran out, Justin would just pass me another. I thought it was strange at the time as he doesn't really like me drinking, but I didn't really think anything of it. I was stupid to dismiss so carelessly I guess, I'm generally a suspicious person that lets her instincts take over. It's easier that way, but that night I didn't and I'm not sure why but hey what can you do about the past? It's already happened so c'est la vie I guess.

That night

I feel so good. Everyone's here, everyone's happy. Justin's here. God I love Justin, he's just sooo hot! I can't believe he's mine, and I know he loves me. He hasn't even pressured me for fucks sake. My drink's empty. Why is my drink empty? I want a drink. There's one in Justin's hand. Yayness! Gawd! I love this song. I want to dance. Just then, Justin grabbed me around the waist and started to dance with me, really close. So close, I could feel his er bulge. He was hard, the horny bastard! I giggled and moved away from him to talk to Derek. Derek's really nice. He's so sweet, well I think he is. My brother, Alex, hates him though, I'm not sure why but what can I say?

Derek and I began to talk to each other as Tiffany wasn't there; I think she was in the toilet or something. He was asking me about how things were going with Justin etc. You know how it is. Niceties must be observed when talking to a friend's girl.

"How was your's and Justin's first time?" I think he must have had too much to drink because he wasn't talking sense.

"What you mean?" I asked him more than slightly confused.

"How was it when you and Justin had sex for the first time last week?"

"Derek, I'm still a vir-" Justin came over then and pulled me away from Derek. I didn't understand. Me and Justin hadn't had sex last week. We hadn't had sex ever. Matter of fact, I had never had sex. I was a good girl of sorts. Although I did drink, I had good grades in school, I didn't smoke, I didn't do drugs and I most certainly hadn't had sex. I didn't understand why Derek was saying that, I mean me and sex was a no go, at least at the moment. He pulled me roughly from the crowded room and into an upstairs bedroom. The silence in the room made his heavy breathing deafening to my fragile ears. Why was he so mad? I just didn't understand. Oh how naïve I was to think that.

"How dare you," It was barely a whisper that escaped his lips, but the anger that seethed beneath the simple statement made it seem like thunder. In the darkened room, I couldn't make out the furniture; they were just lumps and bumps to me. I could, however, make out Justin's silhouette as he stalked the room. I heard the soft tell-tale click of the door lock. I was now trapped with an angry Justin, not a position I wanted to be in, especially when he had been drinking, "You don't talk to anyone about our personal life, do you hear?" He was coming closer to me, moving slowly but purposefully, like a hunter stalking its prey. I felt like a rabbit caught in headlights. I didn't know what to do. The best I could do was stumble blindly backwards, all the while keeping my eyes upon his bulky form. I tripped backwards and fell onto softness. It was the bed.

"Just where I want you," I could hear the sneer in his voice as he literally pounced upon me, pinning me under his immense weight, crushing my chest with his. He laughed as I struggled, trying to free myself from him. Wait I lied. It wasn't so much of a laugh as it was a bark, biting harshly through the air. He got off of me, but help on tight to my upper arm, I was sure he broke a bone at the time, the pain was that excruciating. Justin dragged me upwards, toward the top of the bed. When he released my arm, I curled into a tight ball. I didn't know what was happening, all I could focus on was the pain in my arm. I heard him struggling with something a little way away from me and him cursing when there was a crash. Maybe he was knocked unconscious? Maybe I could get away? All these thoughts ran through my mind as I began to pick myself off the bed.

I wasn't so lucky though. He grabbed me roughly once more and forced my legs apart with him on top of me. He then ripped my lacy underwear from me, yes he actually ripped them off of me. Suddenly I felt pain. Pain like I had never felt before. I was so drunk, I didn't know what was happening. Then it hit me like a freight train. Justin was on top of me moving and moaning, there was pain in my nether regions, he was raping me. The boy I was in love with was raping me. I didn't even realise I was crying until I tasted the tears. It was over in a few minutes.

"You made me do it Jane," He whispered in my ear as he collapsed on top of me. I was still too horrified to move, to even talk. Justin got off of me, sorted himself out and left the room. Just before he closed the door that bastard had the audacity to turn around and tell me that he loved me.

I lay there for what seemed like forever. I just lay there crying and crying. He said he loved me, how could he do that to me? A chink of light at the door signalled someone entering the room. I quickly sat up and brushed myself off.

"Oh sorry, I didn't realise anyone was in here," A deep voice said, obviously embarrassed.

"Derek?" The word escaped my lips without realising. I must have sounded awful as he turned back, genuinely concerned. A big feat for a guy with a no care attitude.

"Jane?" I made a small affirmative noise and he came over to the bed, "Are you ok?" It was my fault, all my fault. I shouldn't have made him do it. He only did it because I made him. These were the thoughts swimming through my head when I answered him.

"Yeah, I think. Me and Justin had … er … an argument," I replied. I was surprised he heard me, I spoke almost inaudibly.

"I just saw him go downstairs, I thought he looked a bit annoyed. You want to talk about it?" I told my brother Derek was a nice guy.

"No, I just want to go home," I sighed, knowing that the only way to get home would be to call one of my parents, not the people that I wanted to see in that state.

"I'll give you a lift, haven't been drinking tonight, not for the efforts of Tiff that is," Derek let out a small chuckle of laughter before stopping himself, "Sorry, I forgot she's your best friend."

"It's ok, it alright for you to give me a lift?"

"Sure thing doll-face." Derek always did have a strange sense of humor.

We walked downstairs together, Derek with his arm wrapped protectively around my waist. People were giving us strange looks, and I knew the rumor mill would begin tomorrow. It always did. We got in his new Porsche and drove home in complete silence. He dropped me at the corner, knowing that my parents couldn't see me in anyone else's car apart from Justin's. They loved him, would they love him if they knew what he did? It was my fault though, I had to keep reminding myself of that fact. I couldn't forget it, if I did, even for a second, I could do something I would later regret. That night, as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was sound asleep. I had the whole weekend to worry about what had happened.

That weekend, I didn't go out. I didn't take any calls and I ignored anyone that came round. My parents seemed slightly suspicious as I only ever stayed in the house to sleep, other than that I was always out. They didn't know where, all they knew it was anywhere except their house so that I didn't invade upon their private time as they so nicely put it. They didn't care about me. Well they did slightly. Mum only ever cared about cheerleading and boys, dad only cared about grades. Only superficial things, never anything that was actually me. I ended up fobbing them off on some story about me being ill, I think they assumed I had a hangover from the party. Idiots.

On Monday morning, I knew something was wrong. You know when you walk into a place and everyone goes silent suddenly like they were talking about you a moment before? Well I had that, extreme style. Normally, I didn't mind what people said about me. I ruled the school and no one could take that away. No one except Tiffany that is. You see Tiffany as co-leader could turn the gang against me at any time, just like we both did to Rina a few months back. I knew if she decided to do that, I couldn't win. Tiffany was sly and crafty, she was too intelligent for me. I began to get paranoid wondering about whether she would try to over throw me. I soon found my answer when I was in the bathroom, applying make-up.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" Tiffany was never one to have a mature debate of minds.

"I think I am Jane Riley," I answered cautiously, not knowing what she had heard. Not knowing what she already knew.

"Not only did you have Justin Dempson, but you had to have Derek too?" Tiffany screamed at me. The gang were standing behind her, sending me glares that you would have thought could burn holes in you. I sent them each one back in turn, knowing mine had the power to chill to the bone. Every single one of them turned away from me, seemingly ashamed. Pussy's.

"I didn't have Derek," I stated as calmly as I could.

"What am I talking about? Of course you didn't," Tiffany looked tranquil. I allowed myself to breathe. She was calming down, it would be alright. How wrong was I? "You didn't have him, not from lack of trying of course." She sneered at me. Tiffany actually sneered at ME! I fucking made her, she would still the girl with greasy ginger hair if it weren't for me.

"I wouldn't need to try to have him Tiff."

"Oh you would. Trust me, you would. Anyway, everyone saw you two come downstairs last night, all over each other," Her voice was scathing, my best friend was trying to hurt me, over a guy? What the fuck was happening here?

"We were not all over each other last night," My anger was rising and I could feel it. I did not need to get into another punch up. It didn't look good on my record.

"Whatever whore. Don't go near Derek again, or you'll have to deal with us. Do I really need to mention that you are no longer welcome in our presence? We see you outside of school, and it won't be pretty got it?" With that they all left, leaving me wondering what happened last night that made it this bad. Little did I know, it was going to get worse, much worse.

"You told everyone I fucked you?" Derek was bearing down on me, shouting, practically screaming in my face. I didn't know where Justin was, I hadn't seen him all day.

"What? Where'd you hear that?" I was confused. Rabbit caught in headlights syndrome kicked in yet again.

"It's all around school. Look I gave you a lift home out of pity ok? I didn't want to leave you there crying over Justin. It was not a come on or anything, so don't start telling people all this shit got it?" Derek stalked off down the corridor. What was happening? Why was everyone so against me? I hadn't done anything wrong, except making Justin do that.

I got home after school and just laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering what to do. Tiffany was my best friend, if I told her what happened, she would believe me surely? She would believe I hadn't done anything with Derek, she would comfort me about Justin, right? I called her straight away.

"Tiff, don't hang up. I need to talk to you, it's important. About the party," I rushed, hoping against hope she wouldn't bitch me out and hang up.

"I'm listening."

"Are you alone?"

"I'm on the phone, what does it matter? But yes I am, now hurry up. I have more important people to talk to," Her tone was cold, uncaring. It was like she had forgotten about me already, she had discarded our friendship so readily, so easily.

"First off nothing happened between me and Derek. He just happened to walk in when I was upset, he was comforting me is all," I held my breath, waiting for some type of response.

"Go on," A wary voice replied. At least she was still there, still listening, that was all that mattered to me then.

"You see, that night, something terrible happened. Justin did something."

"What did he do?" Tiffany always loved gossip, she didn't realise how bad this gossip was.

"Tiff, he raped me," I stated it calmly, quaintly. A silent tear ran down my cheek as I spoke the words. I waited for words of comfort to come pouring from the phone.

"Ha! That's the worse excuse I've ever heard. How could you say that about Justin? I know you two broke up, but to go that low?" Tiffany's words were like knives cutting into me. Each one creating a new wound to bleed from, I could feel the gashes begin to open, "Why would Justin rape you when I've been fucking him all this time?" Those were the last words she said before the line went dead. That was when I knew I had just signed my own death warrant. To accuse the most popular guy in school of that and no one to believe you? That was suicide, not even social. Just plain suicide.


Author's note: If you have read this, can you please review? I mean if you've taken the time to read, I would really like the feedback as criticisms and opinions are helpful for the writing of future chapters etc.

Thanks to Wicca Girl for reviewing the first chapter/prologue thingy. I hope this has answered your questions, well sort of. I still have a lot of reasoning, don't worry. By the way, you ROCK!