perfection in a sadboysmile

this is for the boy who ditched sixth period to lie out on the football field (during practice) and interpret clouds. this is for the boy that caught snowflakes on his tongue and made snow angels (in summer) and pelted bread at pigeons and balanced plastic spoons on his nose. this is for the boy who watched sunsets from the mountains by the school and sunrises from my roof. this is the boy who showed me the beauty of broken things and taught me that structure is overrated.

this is for the boy who opened my eyes. this is for the boy who came from the depths of the abyss above our heads. this is for the boy who the heavens cried for, this is for the boy who they so desperately wanted back, this is for the boy who they captured and took back, this is for the boy whose absense makes me mourn.

this is for you.

sometimes i hear your voice when it's pitchblack outside and i can hear a pin drop (across town) and the wind is whispering your secrets in my ear and the moon is winking down at me. and when the stars are faithfully shining above my head in the darkvelvetcurtain of a sky i imagine you sitting on a cloud (shaped as a bunny) and watching me and laughlaughlaughing. maybe you've found solace in that imaginary place where your breath paints the skies with hues that we're just not worthy of seeing. and maybe i'll find solace in the fact that i was with you and was able to be blessed by your presense (if only for a while).

and maybe someday i'll realize i've already found solace in you and your and nicottine stained fingers and sad boy smile and eyes full of hope and head tilted towards the sky, always dreaminghopingwishing(losing).

and maybe someday i'll realize that even if there is no such thing as perfection, i found it in you.