A/N: Just random things, most of which are funny or just plain stupid. Please no rude comment. Enjoy.


1

Lanie: Can girls get testicular cancer?

Miss Buckner: ...Girls...don't have those.

2

Me: (hears party boy music) Who's listening to Party Boy?

Zack: Me.

Mrs. Batallas: Zack, are you Party Boy?

Zack: Oh yeah.

Me: DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARTY BOY IS???

Mrs. Batallas: No what is it?

Me: A dude dancing while stripping down to a silver speed-o!!!

Mrs. Batallas: Zack, turn that off, I see enough of that at home.

Class: (stares)

3

Ashley: Testies?

Everyone: (silence)

Me: Poseidon?

Everyone: (silence)

Erik: Testicular cancer?

Everyone: (laughs)

4

Brian: What's a "K" word for the lunch ladies?

Jez: Kinky.

Brian: (puts that down)

Brian: Hey Ms. Batallas? What does kinky mean?

5

Krystal: looking in history book I want to own a black person.

Me: There's Gabe.

Krystal: (looks at Gabe) Can I have you?

Gabe: (having missed our conversation) WHAT?

6

Me: When the guys ask what the girls did in gym, we didn't learn yoga, we learned sex positions. Got it?

7

Sam: Do girl plants and boy plants get married and have little seeds?

(Sad part, he was serious.)

8

(My teacher has an 'easy button'...you know, the thing that says 'that was easy'")

Guy #1: (presses button)

Guy #2: (presses button)

Guy #3: (presses button)

Preppy Pain: I get it! I'm easy!

Whole class: (stares)

9

Stacy: I want a nose job.

Brianna: I want a hand job, my knuckles are huge.

10

Brianna: I got peed on by a goat.

Dana: You liked it. You probaly go down the road looking for a goat in high heels, and say "I'll give you $500 to pee on me."

11

Brianna: What would you do if I got hit by a parked car?

Me: Laugh.

12

Me: Mom, what would you do if you saw someone get hit by a parked car?

Mom: I dunno, go help them?

Dad: (staring blankly) Think about it.

Mom: ...Go help them?

13

Dad: (staring at cell phone, a sign that he's having trouble with a text message)

Me: What word can't you spell?

Dad: I'm not gonna ask you how to spell it.

Me: Why not?

Dad: You're gonna laugh at me.

Me: Why would I laugh?

Dad: 'Cause it only has three letters.

Me: (bursts out laughing)

14

Me: Erik, where's your girlfriend?

Erik: Right next to me.

Me: (turns to girl next to him) YOU DO EXIST!!!!

15

Vanessa: Do I look naked?

Me, Brianna: What the hell?

16

Mrs. Kennedy: Don't ask me what to do or I'm gonna scream.

Casey L: What do we do?

Classes surrounding Mrs. Kennedy's: (hears scream)

17

Me: I hate 7th Heaven, old people make out too much.

18

Me: If you're a scientist and religous aren't you a hypocrite?

Mr. Dufour: Or you could throw both out the window a be a scientologist.

19

Mrs. McLaughlin: Violence in never the answer.

Me: You're teaching us about the Revolutionary War!!

20

Mrs. Balchunuis: Ryan, give me your laser pointer pen.

Ryan: I don't have it.

Mrs. Balchunuis: Then what's that between your legs?

Me, Ashley: WHAT?!?!?!

21

Erin: I had stomach cramps for almost a week. I go to the E.R. and you know what the doctor says? I was 'full of poo.'

22

Mr. Dufour: The Dead Sea is warm.

Nikky: Did someone pee in it?

23

Me: You can't come to camp with me, you dont have a severe skin condition.

Brianna: I have severe ugliness.

Me: ...Okay you can come.

24

Some kid: I'm just talking to myself...and the little leprachans...

25

Erin: What's the Mile High Club? Do I need to learn from experience?

26

Person: (Cough)

Mrs. Chase: STOP TALKING!!!

27

(Listening to The Outsiders on tape.)

Tape: You better not rub Dally the wrong way.

Erin: You better rub me the wrong way 'cause I'm a genie in a bottle!

28

Mr. Dufour: If you believe everything you see in movie, you have a problem.

Me: (immediatly turns to Erin)

Erin: I was waiting for that.

29

Erin: Isn't #1-29 thirty problems? I'm gonna count them.

Me: That'll be easy, considering they're ALREADY NUMBERED!!!

30

Brianna: There was a fucking spider on my fucking bed! What the fuck did you expect me to do?

Erik: Fuck it.