Holy shit, I hit 300 reviews and didn't even realize it. ^^;


1501

Neil: (sends me a picture of his books all over the floor)

Me: Why is there a skull?

Neil: ...It keeps the books company. There's a toy crow too if you can find it.

Me: Next to the chair!

Neil: Yep.

Me: It's like where's Waldo!

Neil: I'm surprised you didn't say anything about the cutlass.

Me: That was probably the least surprising thing.

Neil: ...I don't know what to say to that.

1502

(Using "What your name means?")

"Stacie means 'princess (from the name Anastacia)'

Me: Fuck yes! I'm a Russian princess!

1503

Me: You know how Jon and I are being Juno and Bleeker for Halloween right?

Brianna: Yeah so?

Me: By Halloween, Jon and I will have been dating for nine months.

Brianna: You two didn't waste any time.

1504

Spencer: It'll be snow enough to cold soon!

Doss: ...What?

1505

Me: Why is birth control called "birth" control? Wouldn't "baby" control make more sense?

Bri: ....You're actually right.

Me: Thank god that make sense to someone else!

1506

Me: Join me in the New Glasses Brigade!

Erik: Yay! New Glasses Brigade! Down with the contacts!

Me: I use contacts too, I go both ways!

Erik: (giggles)

1507

Shae: Just because I'm sour on the bandwagon thing doesn't mean I don't know that you have what it takes to helm this crazy ship alongside our fabulous lesbian Captain.

Mizu: ...That is the best thing I've read all night.

1508

Mrs. Sallet: Okay, raise your hand if you don't have your rough draft.

(No one raises their hand.)

Mrs. Sallet: ...You're kidding?

Dylan: Why would we be kidding?

Mrs. Sallet: I've NEVER had a class where everyone had their essay! I need to tell someone! I need to e-mail someone! I wanna run through the halls screaming it!

1509

(Looking through left overs.)

Mom: And this is...(opens)...something that turned into cottage cheese.

1510

Mom: (talking really loopy) Flooooating.

Me: ...Are you high?

Mom: (smiles) Not yet!

1511

(I have a disease called Scleroderma.)

Me: (watching House. M.D.)

Chase: Indicates Scleroderma-

Me: MOM!!! I'm on House!

1512

(The class before us left the room carrying a pizza box.)

Spencer: Gimme some! (steals a piece)

(Inside the class.)

Mrs. Mercier: Where did you get that?

Spencer: ...I found it?

Mrs. Mercier: On the floor?

Spencer: ...Maybe.

1513

Me: (sees William's FaceBook) Why are you eating a plastic brain?

William: I got hungry.

1514

(William and I won Students of the Month.)

Mishelle: Aww, that's cute. I think you guys are gonna end up together.

Me: ...That's very random.

Mishelle: Tell Jon his time is running up!

1515

Natalie: So who wants to read?

Mishelle: Stacie...Stacie.....Stacie!

Natalie: No one?

Mishelle: Stacie....come on Stacie....Stacie!

Me: FINE!

Mishelle: Yay!

1516

Natalie: So what was the source of that story?

Sondi: (singing) "He Got Away With Murder!"

Doss: ...That was a little scary.

1517

Olivia: Your boyfriend's cute with short hair.

Me: ....How do you know what my boyfriend looks like?

Olivia: ...You added me on MySpace.

Me: (sigh of relief) Oh yea, for a second I thought I had a stalker.

1518

Erik: I hate doing gym when I'm sore.

Me: You could tell the gym teacher you're sore because you engaged in rugged sexual intercourse. I doubt there will be any questions.

1519

Me: You remember Erik's friend David from like 6th grade?

Ashley: Yeah, why?

Me: He got cute.

Ashley: I know, creepy isn't it.

Me: Just a little.

1520

Dave: Supposedly I'm a fag for wearing size 4 in chick's jeans.

Me: ...Okay, a little odd you're only like one size up from me.

1521

Neil: "The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first opportunity."

Me: ...What?

Neil: Pygmy marmosets are vicious. Can you imagine being killed by a swarm of tiny monkeys?

1522

Dylan: (hums the Harry Potter theme) It's like we're at Hogwarts.

Me: (looks around) Still looks like a normal college...I just depressed myself.

1523

Me: I just took a quiz on FaceBook. Apparently I only have a high sex drive when I'm in a relationship. It's like if I break up with a guy, my sex drive goes dormant for the winter.

1524

Natalie: The teacher before me got so much chalk dust on the desk.

Spencer: That's no chalk!

Natalie: ...So that's why I'm seeing spots.

1525

(Grant is like super incrediable scary smart.)

William: Leeches have like 35 brains.

Sondi: Grant have 5, he keeps 3 of them in this legs.

1526

Julie: So who believes in aliens?

Alyssa: They're probably in here right now!

Everyone: (looks at Grant)

1527

Everyone: (Hears a strange sound outside.)

Sondi: (looks out window) Grant! The mothership is here for you!

1528

Grant: What's the difference in eating a chicken or a dog?

Me: There is none, that's why I'm a vegetarian.

Grant: How can you do that?

Me: ...So you would eat a puppy?

Grant: Why not?

1529

Brianna: I should get paid to sleep.

Amber: You'd fucking be richer than Trump.

1530

Ashley: A guy just asked me to see New Moon with him!

Me: ...I'm more concerned there's a guy who wants to see New Moon.


Who invented annotated bibliography? They fail...very hard.