This story was written for my English class (As was another story) but I like this one somewhat better. The goal was to use mainly dialogue with two characters conversing about one who cannot see, and to use no linking verbs. I got an A.


"Voices in the Dark "

Blood streamed from the hollow eye socket, spewing out and staining my hand that served as a tourniquet to the wound. The warm, ruby liquid functioned as a blissful contrast to the cuttingly cold air seeping into my veins, and I tried to enjoy it for a split moment. After the blood began to cake, I heard footsteps once again approaching my prison cell. Robbed of my precious eyesight, I trembled in the icy chamber, groping around with numb, bloodied hands to feel my surroundings. I felt nothing, but heard everything.

"They all hate him...I am merely doing him a favor by ending his woe...and despair...Nobody has ever loved him...Ever since he was created, he was despised...and...detested...He was not...even supposed to be born; he was merely...an...accident. A misfortunate, accident...It is time...to rid this world...of mistakes...Everyone hates him..."

"You're wrong! You're the only one who hates him!"

"Nonsense...I am...the only one who...loves...him enough to do this!"

"You're lying! You've always despised him! You've always been jealous!"

"Shut up!" Kadin snapped. "I have always...admired him, not envied him."

"Lies! You are ly-"

"But now what is...left to admire? He is nothing..." Kadin scolded. "There is...nothing left at all..."

"Can you blame him? Everyone close to him has perished!"

"Precisely...my point..." Kadin remarked. "Killing him...is what is...best. Perhaps...we...should amputate a few...limbs and allow the...blood to drain?"

"Killing is never the right thing to do!"

"That is...absurd...Have you never heard...of euthanizing a dog? If the...animal is...suffering too greatly..."people"...do it...justice and put it...to sleep."

"Well, he's not a dog!!"

Blinded, I dared not to speak, in fear of what Kadin's malice could produce. He held my fragile life in his sturdy hands, like the almighty creator. An inanimate marionette to him, my existence meant absolutely nothing. I heard the quarelling voices, but used my mind's eye for imagery. Pain radiated from my empty eye sockets, and dizziness permeated my throbbing head. Suddenly, Kadin closed in on my body, leaning closer to whisper sub-zero words into my ear.

"I suppose...you are correct..." Kadin admitted, leaning even closer so our faces almost touched. "He is...even less... than a mutt..."

"Stop it!"

"Teheehee..." Kadin grinned, "I do not...follow commands...from...you." He retorted, carefully picking up one of my gooey eyeballs.

"What has Valin ever done to make you hate him so much?!"

I felt Kadin's hot breath puff against my bitter skin as he replied.

"Do not...you...recall...that...day?" Kadin hissed.

"You have to forgive people, Kadin!"

"NO!" he screeched, the cry ringing inside of my ear drum.

"Well, what about you, huh?!"

"What...are you...referring to?" Kadin growled.

"You're suffering just as much as he is!"

"On the...contrary...I am..joyous...I am not...suffering at...all," Kadin replied, lightly squeezing the eyeball in an annoyed fashion. "Moreover...if I die...you die...as well. So do...not...get any...dangerous...ideas..."

"You're going to regret it if you kill him."

Swiftly, Kadin crushed the eyeball within his palm.


So what'd you think? Kadin was talking to his split personality about Valin, just incase you didn't catch on. Hope you enjoyed it!