I've
awoken to a realization
With
tacks in my feet and perspiration
Lingering
on my forehead from that nightmare
I
asked myself wildly why I had even bothered to care
Care
for such an arrogant and crafty man, well now I stand
Stand
alone and bewildered in the very middle of the longest night
And
who is there to comfort me and assure me that once again all's
right?
No
one, no man nor woman nor disembodied soul watches over my corpse now
For
there is no longer a who, a where, a when, a what, a hallelujah, a
sonnet, a how
There
is nothing there to comfort, to cradle, to kiss and to tangle my
ever-tormented soul
What
had I expected, after all I'd learned, I'd comprehended and all
that shit I thought to know
Well
here is the end note, the scapegoat, the ideal that we all swallow
just so we can hold on—let go
There's
nothing left after the papers are signed, once both sides have
finally resigned, nothing
So
when you wake up and everything you thought was just so okay is just
gone from sight
And
you know there'll be no one about to tell you, assure you you're
fine, you're alright
That's
when you should begin to feel like a human being, a person, a real
thing
Because
there's nothing more real than when you take that dive, that pill
There's
nothing closer to reality than a let down, a turn around, a thrill
It's
suicide, homicide, pesticide, genocide, it's not alright, you'll
cry
Cry
all damn night and it won't help it won't cure your sight
Nothing
can make it all alright again, never again
And
just when you thought you'd lost it all
There
goes another friend, depend
Depend
on nothing and then
Hold
only your own hand