Security Jacket
By Neko
No beta, so if you find major spelling or grammar mistakes please comment and I'll correct them!
Warnings for slight, non-graphic incest. (Have you noticed? All my stories seem to have a theme.. . Huh. Strange...)
This was written for a very dear friend of mine, and is based on no personal experience except the inspiring scent of leather and rain.


The coat, it smells like leather and rain and you, and a little bit like chocolate. I can't help but think of you every time I put it on.

I remember when you would take me out places, my arm looped around yours, my cheek pressed to your sleeve, inhaling that sweet leather scent as we walked, hands twined together.

I remember once you took me to the faire, and you made me promise not to tell when we kissed on the Ferris wheel. I smiled and promised, and then I kissed you back, sugar sticky and desperate. I remember you tasting like cinnamon sugar, and we didn't speak of it afterwards, not even to one another.

I remember you taking me to the movies every week, just so we could sit together and cuddle in the dark, in the back row. I usually ended up borrowing your jacket to wrap around my chilled shoulders, over my summer tank top.

I remember coming to your room late one night, when the leaves were mostly gone from the trees, and crawling into your bed. You were surprised to find me there, but only wrapped your arms around me when I lay down. I kissed you first, that time. I don't remember what time we finally fell asleep. I told Mom I'd had a nightmare, when she woke us in the morning.

I remember when my friends started to tease me because we were so close. I would hug you when I left, and sometimes kiss your cheek, and you would always tell me to be good, be careful. They thought that it was weird for us to care for one another the way we did, and so I stopped hugging you goodbye. I think you were afraid it was something you had done.

I remember one night at a friend's house when I couldn't get a ride home, how I begged you to come get me, to take me away from it before I got in over my head. Everyone was drunk, and when Kris's older brother tried to touch me, tried to kiss me, I locked myself in the bathroom and called you. You showed up right away, and you held me in your arms to calm me down before you took me home.

I remember spending a lot more nights in your bed than my own. Even if I had to go back to my own bed before morning, that was okay. You told me that someday I wouldn't have to.

I remember wishing you didn't have to go.

You put your coat around my shoulders as you told me, "It's only college; I'm not going away forever." I smiled and nodded and kissed you through my tears, and then I let you leave.

I remember when my phone rang late one night, when I was at a friend's house.

I remember what they said to me, and how I told them no. It couldn't be. It wasn't you. There must be some mistake.

You never did take me to Europe with you. I never did get to sleep next to you night after night. We never went out to a fancy dinner where nobody knew that we were siblings and not just lovers.

It rained at your funeral. It poured and poured and poured, soaking me to the skin and hiding my tears so easily. I clutched your coat to my chest in the rain, buried my tears in the fabric.

I'm out on my own, finally. I'm the one in college now, farther away even than you were. You're still here with me, in my heart, and in the fading coat I wear. Your coat still smells like you, and I don't think I'll ever get rid of it. The smell of leather will never grow old to me.

Slowly, I'm getting over it. It's hard, but getting easier every day; I think I can live alone, without you.

But without you I will always be alone.


Dedicated to everyone who has ever lost a loved one to a drunk driver.

Don't drink and drive.