Curiosity was licking at my soul
The moment his back turned away
When blue eyes found mine
Broken into stained glass shards yet
Overflowing with depths beyond our universe
It pulled at my clothes and hair
Begging me to dig into his defenses and
Cut his soul into a million flesh stars
So I could pick apart the bloody mess
Examining a lifetime of emotionless memories and
Black gardens of long lost dreams turned into
Lullabies

My body screamed to know him like no
Other soul had known him
Calculating every subtle movement
Formulas of Christopher
I never wished to love him for I
Loathed him with every ounce of my being
He became a mystery and I thoroughly
Was more than intrigued
Ensnared and captivated by those piano hands
I so silently, secretly wished to hold

He was composed, polite like every little boy should be
Thinking before speaking as if he
Just knew it would drive me mad
Taking in my own actions so brutal towards
This pretty boy wannabekissup
I just hated the way he smiled when I
Stated my defense against conformity
Daring not to be beautiful
Eyes laughing maliciously as he told me I was wrong
I believe the word he used was amazing
Something I would never let anyone say I was
Drenched in compliments his lips sickened me
Had I a gun the bullet would kiss him
Bitter-sweetly because death deserved him more than me
Lovely words falling from his mouth
Small touches of almost chemistry leaking
Off his fingers onto my skin
How I hated him

Fires of anger consumed me until
Ashes were left and I was suddenly empty
Waiting and wanting to be filled
Emotions gone and sensations heightened
He dove into me breaking
Through every border I had formed
A life's work destroyed
An abyss where my soul once had been
I was such a wasteland
As he tore apart my lips and drove
Melodies of blissful pain into my ears
Daylight flooded onto the carpets and
I knew I had been changed forever
Mutated into a new person I didn't know
I couldn't comprehend myself I
Threw away what had been for this new
Vanity I didn't wish to own

Self disdain overtook me
Suddenly I realized my
Curiosity had turned into his knowledge
Of me and for his pleasurable night
I was given a lifetime of anguish