Jimmy: So tell me, what's a dame like you doin' in a place like this?

Lola: I'm lookin' for some help. You Jimmy da Squirrel?

Jimmy: Yeah, I sure is. Who's wantin' to know?

Lola: Ain't it obvious?

Jimmy: Not when I ain't wearin' my specs. There, that's better. However, I still don't know who you are.

Lola: My name is Lola Cashmere.

Jimmy: The Lola Cashmere?

Lola: The one and only.

Jimmy: Well Miss Cashmere, what can I do for you?

Lola: Well Mr. da Squirrel, I'm in a bit of a pickle. You see, my ex-boyfriend is in the slammer.

Jimmy: Yeah?

Lola: Yeah. Maybe back when we was dating I wouldn't of minded, but now that we's broken up I worry about the big lug. I think he's been falsely accused or somethin'.

Jimmy: Let me think on this, whilst I scratch my chin-stubble.

Lola: It'd be real swell if you could hurry, please.

Jimmy: I've found the solution, Toots.

Lola: For truly?

Jimmy: For truly. Just let me grab my hat, and we can get goin' on this. You got a car?

Lola: Yeah, my daddy's Cadillac.

Jimmy: I guess that'll have to do. Toss me them keys.

Lola: Sure thing, Mr. da Squirrel.

Jimmy: Thanks Toots. Let's ditch this popsicle joint.

Lola: Mr. da Squirrel?

Jimmy: Call me Jimmy.

Lola: Ok, well, I didn't see no popsicles.

Jimmy: It's a figure of speech Miss Cashmere.

Lola: Oh, alright. I guess.

Jimmy: This your car?

Lola: No, it's that one over there yonder.

Jimmy:Your daddy drives a purple cadillac?

Lola: He's in touch with his feminine side.

Jimmy: Maybe we should take my car. It'll be a bumpy ride, but slightly less obvious.

Lola: Suits me, Jimmy.

Jimmy: Let me get the door for you - it sticks sometimes. You really have to use all your strength to get it open. See, I just gotta put my foot up here, and my head in there, and...presto! There you go, Miss Cashmere.

Lola: Thank you Jimmy. Your car is lovely. Ah! Sticky seat...the ultimate safety device.

Jimmy: Ha...yeah, that's why the seat is sticky. It'll keep your derriere in place in case of an accident.

Lola: Swell.

Jimmy: Ah, here we are.

Lola: The abandoned warehouse?

Jimmy: Yeah. "Max's Manufacturer of Mustard". Closed in '98 due to a mouse infestation. For some reason that discouraged the customers from buying here anymore.

Lola: I can't imagine why.

Jimmy: Let's go inside.

Lola: It's dark in here.

Jimmy: That's on account of the lights being turned off. Here's a switch...OUCH!

Lola: Wow those sparks were bright.

Jimmy: And flippin' painful. The lights can stay off anyways. I know my way around here as well as I know the back of my hand.

Lola: You better. This is a designer outfit and I don't want nothin' happenin' to it.

Jimmy: Here we are. Ladies first...

Lola: Jimmy...what's that smell?

Jimmy: Oh, probably just rotten mustard or dead mouse or something. Nothin' to be worried about, Toots.

Lola: Quit callin' me 'Toots'. My name is Lola.

Jimmy: I know your name is Lola, but I frankly do not care. Toots is easier to say and easier to remember.

Lola: You're such a man, you know?

Jimmy: That's what the doctors keep saying. Aha, found it.

Lola: Found what? Your brain?

Jimmy: Eh, no cracks about my brain. Do you want my help or not?

Lola: Sorry Jimmy. What did you find?

Jimmy: Da secret entrance, of course. I just need to push on this third brick from the top left hand corner and...presto.

Lola: Nothin's happening...

Jimmy: Shut up a sec...Oh crap.

Lola: What's wrong?

Jimmy: We're in the wrong place.

Lola: You moron!

Jimmy: Sorry, toots. I got confused. Let's head back to my office.

Lola: Moron. I can't believe this.

Jimmy: Let me get the door for you again, Miss Cashmere.

Lola: Your car is disgusting. What is that near my foot?

Jimmy: Looks like one of the spawn of Benny.

Lola: Who is Benny?

Jimmy: My car's pet spider.

Lola: AHHHH!

Jimmy: Shut up! You wanna scare the spiders? They's basically harmless!

Lola: Basically?

Jimmy: I mean I've only been bitten by Benny or the youngun's forty or so times. It's no big deal.

Lola: No big deal? Are you stupid?

Jimmy: Not to my momma. Ah, back at da office. Need any assistance gettin' out of the car, Toots?

Lola: No thanks, I can help myself out just fine.

Jimmy: You okay?

Lola: Yeah, I just caught my foot on a box of cookies. There's gravel in my hands, but it'll clean out in a jiffy.

Jimmy: Good. I wouldn't want no harm to come to ya on my account. Come on inside.

Lola: Your office smells bad, Kimmy.

Jimmy: My name is Jimmy.

Lola: Oh, I forgot. Why does it smell so bad in here?

Jimmy: Probably because of my pet ferret. I don't clean his cage as annually as I should.

Lola: What's his name?

Jimmy: Benny.

Lola: The same as your spider?

Jimmy: I never said I was creative. Let me make a quick phone call.

Lola: Go right on ahead. I'll just make myself comfy here on your chesterfield.

Jimmy: Hello? Prison? Ya, dis is Jimmy da Squirrel.

Lola: I found five bucks!

Jimmy: You got a guy named Carl the Carbonator in there somewheres?

Lola: And a fuzzy gummy worm.

Jimmy: Ya, can I speak with him, please?

Lola: And a...thing.

Jimmy: Hey Carl. You in there for the wrong reasons?

Lola: Oh my gosh it's a wing.

Jimmy: You ain't? Elaborate, if you will.

Lola: With a feather stuck to it...I think I'm gonna hurl.

Jimmy: No kidding, huh? Well I guess when you put it that way.

Lola: Oh...they're separate. Thank goodness.

Jimmy: Alright Carl, it's been swell. A pleasure. I will. Bye.

Lola: What's the verdict?

Jimmy: He is not in there against his will.

Lola: For truly?

Jimmy: Yeah. He's a gaurd there.

Lola: You're lyin' to me!

Jimmy: I ain't. I ain't ever lied to a female in all my born years.

Lola: Well I guess then I'm sorry to have wasted your time.

Jimmy: Hey, it ain't ever a waste of time if it's spent with a lovely female, such as yourself.

Lola: Alright, I'll be seein' ya around. Bye!

Jimmy: And then the dame walked outta my office and outta my life. I never saw her again, 'cept in a pantyhose commercial eight years later. She looked good. Always did have nice legs, that one.

Da End