"It's not possible you know."
She turned around and laughed making my heart tug at my insides.
"Wh-What's not possible?"
I inwardly cringed at my own faltering voice. I was losing it. I was losing her.
"It's not possible that two girls could...could fall in love. Or even like."
Her last three words came out in a hurried tumble as if she was trying to convince more than just me at this point.
"it's just not right... it can't happen that way... it won't... happen that way."
The word won't felt like more of an attack on the situation than a general statement. I could almost hear her verbally smacking the back of my hand. Bad girl. How dare you make me fall in love with you?
"But it already has..."
She closes her eyes and shakes her head from side to side dislodging a tear from behind those iron gates. As it reaches her mouth I have to fight the urge to kiss it away for her. I wanted nothing more than to walk over and dry every tear on her face and tell her that everything would be okay. Just as long as she stopped fighting it. Me.
She sniffled and blinked furiously trying to win a losing battle against her own tear ducts.
"Don't you see Lea? It already has happened and you saying it can't doesn't change anything, or stop me from loving you. Just being this close to you...it's driving me crazy..."
She turned away no longer allowing me to see her face. I knew what I would find there anyway. More tears.
"We can't do this... I... can't do this... I don't believe in love... Not this kind."
She sighed as if finding truth her own words for the first time and I knew that I was losing her.
"Lea... we can do this...we will do this. And who's to say that my love for you isn't just like any other love out there? It's pure and real and it's here and now. The world is such a harsh place, you got me there, but it would be so much worse if we weren't together."
I took a step closer and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She knew that I was right, and she didn't pull away. I did feel her back stiffen up in my arms though.
Drawing little circles on her shoulder with one hand I run the other down her spine and watch as shivers run through her body. I move my mouth right next to her ear and hear her inhale. Fast. Deep. Painful almost.
I'm whispering now, you can barely even hear it.
"You can't deny it. You know you feel it too."
As I feel these words tumble from my lips, I feel her chest slowly rise in one long shaky breath. Then shivers run through both our bodies as my hand slowly descend to her lower back. She turns to face me with tear filled eyes and I know, can see it there in her eyes. This is the moment in which I could lose her, maybe forever.
"I love you."
"There's no such thing as this love... our kind of-"
"That's bull shit, and you know it."
She pulls back a little and looks deep into my eyes,wanting this just as much as I do, yet not ready to admit it.
"You can't tell me this isn't love..."
My left hand leaves her shoulder and moves up to wipe a stray tear from her face.
A small moan escapes her lips as my other hand begins traveling down the front of her and then back up her side.
"...we're not supposed to love..."
I almost laughed out loud right then. I stepped back from her a bit so I could look down into her face.
"Since when have we done anything that we are supposed to do?"
As we look at each other we both end up cracking a small smile. Then it grows, until we're both just laughing. When I caught her eyes again there was something there that I hadn't seen before. Turning the mood back around she brings her face closer to mine and I press my body closer to hers. Hip to hip, stomach to stomach. Faces not even an inch apart. She bites down on her bottom lip and pulls back a little making me wonder if I really am going to lose her after all.
"Two girls...they can't love each other...not like this..."
"Well then what's this?"
I kiss her square on the mouth, and at first I'm completely petrified that she'll simply push me away. After not even a second goes by though I feel her lips part a little and realize that soon she's kissing me back. After what seems like too short of a time, she pulls back and looks down deep into my eyes. There are no words for this. Nothing could even come close. But she's mine again. And I was always hers.