It's always the same dream. Always. There are never any changes in it, not even the smallest of details. I'm standing next to my brother wearing a black dress that's obviously too big for me (which makes sense, seeing as how it's my older sister's) staring at the shiny box that contains my mother.
She looked pretty that day…not that she didn't look pretty before, but it was a sad pretty. She was always sad back in those days. Caitlin said she had depression. Of course at that age I thought she meant my mother was some how dented or something. But whatever it was made her not want to play any more.
Nobody would move in the dream, it was like we were the statues that littered my aunt's studio. That's all, that's all the dream ever showed and yet some how I would wake up feeling terrified.
My mother committed suicide two days after my eighth birthday. We were home alone, just the two of us. Caitlin was at cheerleading practice and James had left on a date with his boyfriend, Seth. Mom came down the stairs and into the living room where I sat watching beginning of Doug.
She was wearing her wedding dress. I remember thinking I wanted a dress like that when I got old enough to wear one. She gave me a twenty dollar bill (the first one I had ever held) and told me that she wasn't going to be here to make dinner, so I could order a pizza if I wanted to later and the number was on the fridge. I thanked her excitedly; I had never ordered my own meal before let alone by phone.
She patted my head and then went down the hallway to the big bathroom (as apposed to the little one upstairs that us kids had to use). I didn't see her for again until Caitlin came home early. She was upset because Sam liked Josh, but Sam shouldn't like Josh because Sam was Caitlin's best friend and Caitlin liked Josh first. That is a no-no when it comes to friends, so I hear.
Caitlin had walked through the door an hour after mother disappeared; I know this because Rugrats had just started. She told me she was going to go freshen up her make-up (she had a date with Dan, who is not Josh by the way). She asked if I would get mother's lipstick for her while she applied her own make-up, it would save time she said.
Mother hadn't locked the door to the big bathroom so I opened it, not caring if she was naked or not. I almost slipped on the water that covered the floor when I walked in. I saw her lipstick case resting on cabinet shelf above the sink. Being too short to reach said lipstick case, I climbed up on to the sink. My face even with the mirror attached to the door of the cabinet caused me to see my mother.
She was sitting in the bathtub with the water running still wearing her lacey white dress, only it wasn't white anymore. It was a faded red color, making her look like the demon princess in one of James's favorite movies. I slid back on to the floor and turned off the faucet in the tub. She didn't move.
Four days after my eighth birthday, I stood next to my brother wearing a black dress that's obviously too big for me, staring at the shiny box that contains my mother.
She looked pretty that day.
The two bold words up there show two different sections. It won't let me separate them so I did that instead.
If you're wondering about the character, yes there is something wrong with her. She's not all there emotionally. Kind of reminds me of The Perks of Being a Wallflower (if you haven't read it, do). But it's just some story I wrote after a tiring day of work and classes. Please review!