"I am very conscious of the fact that I am an asshole." -Cam

I was fat. I was fat and I was tired and I was hungry. But not just hungry, no. I was hungry for something in particular. A combination of particular things in fact. I didn't want to get out of bed though. One, it was difficult. Two, I was comfortable. Three, my feet hurt every time I stood up.

Reaching over I flicked on the bedside lamp before looking at the lump next to me. Nudging his shoulder with a hand. Needless to say I was disappointed when he just twitched and kind of moved further away. "Cam, I'm hungry." I was whining. But didn't I have plenty of reason to whine?

It took a moment to get an answer and he didn't even bother to move his head from where it was buried in the pillow--and thus muffling his voice. "So get something to eat."

Sometimes I really just wanted to bash him over the head with a frying pan. Instead I just pouted and after a few agonizing moments announced that he was mean--to which he simply grunted--before painstakingly starting to get out of bed.

The kitchen floor was cold, and the light in the fridge was bright. And it took serious digging to find the pickle jar. The orange juice was easy to find of course. I had a little more difficulty with the string cheese, but was, in the end victorious. There was one problem though, we didn't have any potato chips. I needed potato chips. I was craving potato chips. I couldn't live without potato chips.

I was devastated. I didn't trust myself to get in a car and go get potato chips.

I was frowning at the empty cupboard that was really overflowing but still didn't have potato chips when it hit me. There was someone else in the house who could drive. There was someone else in the house who loved me and who owed me for knocking me up and he was damn well going to get me potato chips.

It took a bit to convince him, but within fifteen minutes a sleepy eyed Cam--still wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt he'd pulled on backwards before leaving--was taking the keys and heading off to get me my desired potato chips.

I really was hungry though, so I figured I could eat the other stuff while I waited for my desired potato chips. And then I was tired again so I took my plate of cheese and pickles with my cup of orange juice to the bed, and nibbled on it there.

Within five minutes I was asleep again. I didn't hear Cam come in, or swear at me which I'm sure he did when he found me sleeping. I slept blissfully through it.

And I had potato chips when I woke up in the morning.