My knees hit the kitchen floor like
My own private confessional and
I'm asking you to be my priest just
This once please because there's
Some things I have to say to you

I used to be so intrigued by you I
Think that's why I said those three
Words back when they accidentally
Slipped off your tongue as dawn
Kissed clouds covered our heads I'm
Pretty sure I was high but it doesn't
Matter anymore excuses died a while ago

I pretended I didn't know the truth
When I wrote all those things to you but
I knew so deep inside myself I couldn't
Even cry so I just said hi and went on
Like it was all ok for a while the funny
Thing is it never was and I don't think it
Ever will be all right like you said

And I still have that mint box you
Threw into my hands so nonchalantly and
I know it doesn't mean anything but I
Guess I got sentimental because now it's
My wallet holding cash and card tucked
Snugly in my back pocket even though
I should have just thrown the damned thing
In the garbage as you drove away

I really did hate you as much as I loved
You with those broken blue eyes and
Piano hands I keep writing those phrases
And I just don't know why but it's
Ok because those feelings eventually
Died when you decided I was maybe
Still worth some sort of friendship but
It only made me feel worse Chris

I lied to you about Zara and I'm not
Really that sorry about it anymore because
Maybe you deserve to get your heart
Broken again and remember what it feels
Like to be that empty because boy she
Doesn't like you and everyone knows it
Except you I guess and I almost
Regret telling you it might work out
Someday if you really love her

These days I only think about you
Some of the time instead of always but
It still can get annoying with you being
There so much and I just can't get rid of
You and I have this terrible feeling that
I am never going to forget your name or
The feeling of your hand in mine which
Doesn't sound so bad except you don't know
How right it felt with yours in mine

Oh yeah and I write a lot of poetry about
You and share it with "complete" strangers
For no particular reason except you are
The biggest inspiration I have ever had like
My soul attached itself to you and can't won't
Let go of the thought that is you because
I know it could be more beautiful than you
Think you are even if you are arrogantly
Lacking any self-confidence I still can
See right through that mask you wear it's so beautiful

So here is an unfinished second-rate poem
That I wrote so I could tell you all those things
I almost kept from you but it has barely
Brushed the surface of all the things I want
To tell you like how I know you are disgusting
Maybe more than I think and you are not
Worth feeling this way even though I do and
You lie through your teeth and I think it makes you
Feel good and in control when you are only
Dying as your crying the tears that should have
Been mine and even though I know all this somehow
I still see greatness in who you are and know there
Is a light inside of you that could change the world I
Just wish I could have been there beside you while
It happens but maybe someday you'll realize there
Was something special about me too and maybe
Regret not taking the chance to wait and so who I could be

But these are my confessions not yours because
This poem would probably be a lot longer or maybe
Not a poem at all but three short words on paper
Expressing how you feel and I think I know but
I'm not quite sure if I don't care counts anymore