Because she really fucking hates it when he does that but she's too in love with him to ask him to stop, too fucking in love with him to make him do anything. And even when he hits her, she still bites back the tears because it's not his fault that she's so damn annoying. And in the morning when he wakes up and asks for aspirin with his sleepy smile, her heart melts and it doesn't matter anything he said the night before, because he was only drunk and didn't mean anything. In fact, he can't even fucking remember anything he did¸ so she looks the other way when she trips over the lacy bra that's not hers and closes her eyes from the scratches on his chest and the hickeys on his neck, the fucking scratches that she didn't fucking make.

It's not gonna happen again, she swears to herself, and she smiles up at him as brightly as she can when she hands him his glass of water. But he doesn't smile back, instead he's still staring at the bra that isn't fucking hers on the floor and he clears his throat and looks into her eyes with guilt and her throat gets all dry and this can't be fucking happening he's not fucking breaking up with me and then he looks away and takes the water from her cold hands. There's a moment of silence as he takes a gulp and sets it on the table before he swallows his aspirin.

Fucking hangover, he mumbles, still looking at the ground, at the walls, anywhere but her. I don't even remember getting drunk. I don't remember anything that happened. You know? I was so drunk. You know? You know?

And she can't say anything because suddenly she can't fucking breathe and she can't give him the reply that he's looking for, can't say the words she's said so many damn times before.

I understand, she tries to choke out, but her mouth just opens and closes and she really wants to just slap him but she can't and she won't because she's so fucking in love with him so instead she just spits out, I know.

And that's enough for her and him and both of them and he gets it, he finally fucking gets it, especially when she jumps up and runs out the door into the cold morning rain and she didn't even know it was fucking raining but it's perfect it's just fucking perfect as she just runs and runs in the pouring rain, not even caring that she's drenched and her clothes are wet because for the first time in a long time she feels clean.