I hate making words flow on a
Page and having to know that you
Might read them someday because
I hate it when people have keys
To my soul like they should be
Allowed inside my head when it
Is my sanctuary not some childish
Playground that all are free to tread
On your shoes so softly tapping
Against my thoughts taking in what
You can't begin to understand I just
Wish I could quit writing anything (everything)

My hands are cold and my face is
Wet because those were for me not
Anyone else and I just wish I could
Die so no one would care about my
Poetry anymore and stop telling me
That I am amazing and the next Edgar
Allen Poe when all I am is a mediocre
Nothing who deserves to fall onto her
Knees so she can beg the sky to take
Her away from this Hell of a place I
Can't do it anymore

This might be my last poem I write and
Allow anyone to see I'm not sure but
I hope everyone will forgive me for actually
Thinking and feeling even when I pretend
I don't this is my hiding place my Eden and
My soul that is typed onto a page not just
Words I'm trying to convey but they are
Me and no one seems to be able to understand
That I don't write to please you or to get
Complimentary reviews but because this world
Is too much and my fingertips feel better when
They bleed sentences and phrases than my
Mouth that I pleasantly have sewn shut why
Can't anyone understand?

You can think I'm amazing or the most terrible
Person on the face of the planet who deserves
To die but I don't care what anyone thinks about me

All I want to do is cut open my soul and bleed
Onto the computer screen poetry of who I am

Because showing my soul to people who know
What it's like or at least don't know me is so
Much easier than you trying to see who this person
Is behind the words because even though you see
Me you will never really know me unless you read

And I don't want you to